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I think it is on the parents to create bonding experiences with their kids. I don't think how babies are fed have anything to do with it. My 7 yr old was formula fed and my 1 yr old was both and my DH and have great relationships with both kids. I think formula creates a better bonding experience for Dads as otherwise they don't get to take part unless milk is pumped for him to help.

My baby is 95% bottle fed (1/2 formula, 1/2 pumped milk), and sometimes I do think that we get a great bond from the bottle. Other times it feels a lot more special when she's nursing, but that could be because it's a treat for me to rarely be able to.

I definitely do not think a mom and baby suffer from lack of bonding due to inability to breastfeed though

I agree with you - I don't think they're less bonded. I think a lot more goes into creating a bond than that. I breastfeed but sometimes bottle feed and still feel really close to my son either way.

I have no idea about the infant stage, since my LO isn't here yet. But from a grown-up child's perspective, I wouldn't say it's made a difference in my family. My parents had 6 kids, and I'm #5. My mom did not breastfeed the first 4 (it wasn't that common then), but did breastfeed the last two of us when it came back into vogue.

The sister that's closest to my mom emotionally now as an adult was not breastfed. And she was always a "mommy's girl" growing up, to the point that our oldest siblings called her "HG" or "Helper girl", because she never wanted to play with them but just wanted to hang around my mom, helping her. And they made fun of her for that. And she's still the same as an adult.

So...who knows? My family doesn't follow a lot of the typical breastfeeding scenarios though. My little sis who was breastfed has major food allergies, and the rest of us don't. And she and I were also the "sickliest" of the 6 of us growing up, and we are also the only breastfed ones. We're also not any thinner or healthier than the FF siblings.

So, we may not be the best test cases.

lol, no. Many of the same bonding actions that happen during a feeding (sitting together with baby close to you, holding baby, spending time with baby, looking into each other's eyes, giving baby time to upclose study your face, etc.) happen whether the food is delivered via bottle or boob and whether the liquid they get is breastmilk, formula or kool-aid.

I was very worried about this before Isaiah was born. I worried because he had bonded with his birth mom while in utero. When we first got him he didn't want to eat for me, but was extremely interested any time she was around.

Eventually, we got past it. We have bonded and I can tell an incredible difference in our relationship from day 1 until now.

Both my kids are bonded just fine.... I do have to say that in the stage of infancy & now early toddlerhood it is definitely a different kind of bond breastfeeding P than it was ff/bottlefeeding G.

I don't think it makes a difference. If anything, I was forced to be more "present" bottle feeding because I needed both hands (one to hold him, one to hold the bottle) so was totally focused on him whereas when he was BFing it was easier to support him with one hand and play on my phone with the other.

I think it can help on the mom's end since there are hormones that are released that help you relax and feel good. I also started to feel anxious if my breasts got full so I had a boob timer that made me have a strong desire to get back to baby if I was away.

But there's lots of things that help parents bond. My husband is very attached to my daughter despite not breastfeeding and they've had a really strong bond with her since she was born, he gets lots of comments about how obviously over the moon LO is about him. He gave her maybe one bottle a day so he developed and kept that bond strong despite not having many feeding opportunities, so there's lots of ways to keep a strong bond.

No way. My LO was formula fed and sometimes I think we're a little too bonded She has always wanted me to be the one to comfort her, and at 22 months she is all about mommy.

@T.H.O.U.: in my gut I feel it's just J's personality. I'm the same way. My mother tells me I was the independent/active one, my brother was quiet and cuddly.

Absolutely, emphatically NO.

It actually really aggravates me when people talk about how they want to breastfeed so they can bond. Um... you'll bond anyway. Just one of the many things about breastfeeding "culture" that I find condescending and ridiculous.

@zippylef: Umm where can I "Like" this...seriously feel the same way! And I heart you for posting it.

I only have our experience to go on, but I had such a hard time breastfeeding that I think it was actually preventing me from bonding with M. It got to the point where I would watch the clock and just dread her next feeding. Obviously a lot of people get past this stage, but when we switched to formula at 3 months I felt like I could get past my anxiety and just be with her.

I love feeding her, even though it's from a bottle. I try to be as present as I can when she's eating. Before bed when I feed her in the rocking chair in her dark room with her falling asleep in my arms - watching her actually brings tears to my eyes. I can't imagine feeling closer to anyone.

No. I don't think the way you feed your baby (bottle or boob) is what impacts bonding with your baby. I think most BFing moms feel bonded through the physical connection during nursing, but that in and of itself does not constitute the only or better way of bonding with a child.

@Kemma: I stick by what I said. My statement of bonding no matter what holds true in both situations.

I think this notion is ridiculous and agree with others who have said bonding with your child is not dependent on how they are fed. I was formula fed and am closer with my mom than anyone else in the world. She's my mom and when I was little I didn't know or care about how I was fed. All I knew was she was my mother, she had never let me down, and I could always count on her. I BF and do feel incredibly bonded to my son but that (for me) has nothing to do with him nursing. In fact, I have an intense letdown and he prefers one side over the other. I don't mind nursing him but when I do give a pumped bottle it is almost a relief and more enjoyable because I don't have to worry about these things. My nursing experience overall has been positive and I feel very fortunate that I've been able to breastfeed but I do not feel like it has been pivotal in my bonding experience with my son !

I will say I do think that bottle feeding HAS helped my husband bond. I started pumping a bottle each day at 1 wk old for DH to give and I'm glad I did. It has become a part of the day he looks forward to a lot.

I breastfed for 4 months (pumped to 6 months) and we probably had more battles during feeding time than bonding. There were many times (mostly near the end) where we both ended up in tears because of it. Although we did have some close moments bfing, we were both much happier when we switched over to bottles.