We don't really understand the point of having one. The ones we've been to seem like a hassle for the parents, and the birthday child doesn't even knowwwhat's going on. We'll probably have a special meal with close family, but I can't see going all out.
What do you think?
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
Not at all!!! We just had grandparents over and a cupcake smash. No other guests, no presents. It was lovely!
pomegranate / 3452 posts
No! We will probably do something small and low key, if anything. I know I'm probably in the minority, but I hate cake smashes too.
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@aprk: we decided before he was born that we don't want a cake smash. We both dislike it.
coconut / 8498 posts
Nope. We had one, but lots of our friends didn't. Every kid still turned one. None of them knew the difference. 
eggplant / 11408 posts
My parents never had one for us, so that is what I grew up expecting. Sounds fine to me! I'm also not sure how much I care for a big smash.
persimmon / 1178 posts
1st birthday party avoiders here, too!
I am just not into it, the baby certainly didn't care and I know my friends were relieved not to have to dodge the invite 
honeydew / 7917 posts
My sister had a simple get together for close family members for her LO's birthday, and it was perfect. There is no need to throw an elaborate party.
GOLD / squash / 13464 posts
We won't be throwing a big party! I see it as a waste of money since the kid has no idea what's going on.
pineapple / 12053 posts
i love birthdays, so we're gonna throw her a party, but we throw parties for lots of things, even on the fly, but i know not everyone is like that!
i don't think you're weird or bad parents to not throw a party!
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
When I was setting up for los party I thought, well this is dumb. I'm going through all of this work, she doesn't care, and I'm too busy to spend time with her because I have to cook and decorate. I love parties so I don't regret it, but I do get why you wouldn't have one.
nectarine / 2132 posts
1st birthday parties are definitely for the parents more so than the kid. so if you don't feel like having a huge bash then there really is no need for one! with that said, i love a big party and will be going all out, fully understanding that it's for me, not him.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
LO had a small family party. My friends made me feel bad and they threw LO a surprise party at a play date. 
nectarine / 2667 posts
Of course not! The party is really for the parent anyway I know we're having a party for my own personal enjoyment - I love parties, I love birthdays, and I love cake. My son won't care two bits about it!
cantaloupe / 6669 posts
1st birthday parties are definitely for the parents/family. That being said, I really want to have a big one! But only because I love a party.
apricot / 315 posts
We had one as it's not only done in our circle of friends but also a big deal for our family and family friends. It was a lot of work so I can definitely see why some families opt out!
honeydew / 7687 posts
Definitely not. I'm excited to have one because it means I can throw a party and family will come all at once (everyone lives in different states) - so it's mostly just an excuse
pomegranate / 3716 posts
No kids yet, but after attending multiple elaborate first birthday parties, I'm in the no party camp. I guess they just weren't fun for the people with no kids, and we kinda dreaded them!
Ironically, I'm an event planner by trade... what's that old proverb about the shoemakers child having no shoes. Haha. Maybe I'll change my mind when I actually have a baby though...
kiwi / 612 posts
Not at all! Our son is five months and I'm already dreading the idea...I would love to just have grandparents over. We probably won't do a cake smash either. But I'm generally anti-social lol and can see how more sociable people could enjoy having a big party for their LOs.
GOLD / wonderful coconut / 33402 posts
I don't think so.
That said I can't imagine not having one but I love throwing parties. We will just have family and close friends come to her 1st. But that will still be like 75 people. My immediate family is just that big.
nectarine / 2765 posts
LO's aren't here yet but DH and I have discussed this and are in agreement. We also don't see the point in a big 1st bday party. Getting immediate family together for dinner/cake to celebrate is one thing but having a big shindig is something we won't be doing.
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
We did a reasonable first. Immediate family and three sets of close friends.
watermelon / 14206 posts
DS didn't have a huge party. Just family over, giving him presents and a cake for him to get all over himself. In fact, he didn't have a real party until he turned 4 and asked for it.
nectarine / 2134 posts
I just love parties and love to have one for any excuse No baby for us yet though, so my perspective might change in the future. Do what is fun and meaningful for you, if that's a small dinner with family, then that sounds perfect!
admin / wonderful grape / 20724 posts
It's not a big deal either way, I think. The one nice thing about having one for us was that a good number of our friends hadn't yet had been able to meet the kids. A birthday party was a convenient way to kill all those birds with one stone!
pomegranate / 3604 posts
Everytime I think of his first birthday I just feel dread. We'll probably get him a cupcake, a "happy birthday" banner and a few gifts. I have no desire to throw any kind of big fan-fare.
persimmon / 1205 posts
Absolutely not! We ended up doing more than we would have wanted to, but we have big families so there was no way around it. I toyed with not doing anything too, but lost that battle. That day will still be incredibly special!
coconut / 8861 posts
Nope, not at all. We're doing a very small family thing at my parents' house. The thought of a big kids party for a one year old was giving me too much anxiety. We've had a tough year, so the last thing on my mind was throwing a huge party for my LO. DH and I agreed about the party size, so that's been good.
pear / 1693 posts
I don't think it's such a big deal. I know when I was little all my parents did was have a cake and a few neighbors. It was no fuss/no big deal. It seems like a lot of the parties nowadays get out of hand and are stressful.
clementine / 818 posts
Thats our plan too. I'm going with the birthday party/ family party every other year plan, so those two things will rotate. I think 1 is the perfect year for family party, so that's our plan as well. Big picture our families are really the ones who will care about lo's bday, I would rather spend the money on 1 yr photos or something, and I am not but nature a hostess, and I am a stresser, all that put together= no big 1 yr bday party!
blogger / nectarine / 2608 posts
I think you are just fine. And if not, I am right in the same bad parenting boat as you are. I just made cupcakes and Lorelei's favorite meal and we had Eric's parents and his sister and her family of four over for lunch and dessert. It was inexpensive, all the people Lorelei would have cared to see were present, it was low-key-- it had everything to recommend it! Since Ellie has been older she always gets two parties; one for family only (so grandparents and us) and one for friends, which her cousins always come to.
nectarine / 2085 posts
I think LO *might* get his first party on his third birthday. Our families all live far away, so for his first we had some cake (no smash--I am a stickler about food not being smeared on his face!), and got the grandparents on video chat. We planned the day so that we did all the stuff he enjoyed--went to the beach, hung out on the swings, etc. His 2d birthday went similarly. He has some actual friends of his own now and they do a birthday walk at school, so I think he'll be more into it this year. But I'm only inviting one or two little guests (and their siblings).
We've been guests at two birthday parties for the 1-2yo set this year and we were the only non-family guests at both! I think maybe the big birthday is not as common as the Internet suggests.
grapefruit / 4997 posts
I think throwing parties can be really stressful and it's better if you really enjoy doing it. My love for event planning started with me being part of the "Entertainment Committee" at the office for my department, combined with my love for arts and crafts, helping others plan parties is very therapeutic for me! I threw 4 babyshowers in 2011 when I was at my lowest emotionally. Celebrating life events with others helped me to keep my sadness at bay when I had my miscarriage that year. But it was very expensive and I don't offer my party planning services anymore because it takes a lot of time, effort, and money! So celebrating with family only can be very special too!!!
grapefruit / 4997 posts
Oh I guess to answer your question: No you are not bad parents for not wanting a big first birthday, you do what you have to do to make you a happy and stress-free mommy.
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
Haha not at alllllll ... I think this one of these things where blogs give a skewed perception of reality. Most people aren't throwing fancy parties for young kids, if they throw one at all. We had a very low-key family party for LO's 1st and nothing for his 2nd!
pomegranate / 3401 posts
Not at all! I think it just depends on the family! We plan on just doing a regular ole BBQ and having a cake for her to smash. For some reason I'm really excited about the cake smashing!
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