When your friends ask you for advice, do you tell them the truth or soften it a bit?
My friend is dating the hugest loser(cheats on her)and she keeps making excuses for him and thinks he will change. Ugh!
When your friends ask you for advice, do you tell them the truth or soften it a bit?
My friend is dating the hugest loser(cheats on her)and she keeps making excuses for him and thinks he will change. Ugh!
squash / 13199 posts
if it is a close friend I tell the truth. but if they dont want to hear it then i just let it go. Deep down people know when they are dating losers so they will only accept it when they are ready to,
honeydew / 7968 posts
it depends on if the circumstances require it. if it's not a big deal, i'll probably sugar coat the truth or something. unless they want my honest honest opinion. however, in this situation where the bf is a big loser and CHEATS on her.... ugh. i'd definitely tell her what i thought. but you can only do it once or twice before she shuts you out, you know? so i'd say say what you need to say and if she doesn't listen, there's nothing you can do but stand by her until she finally realizes for herself.
apricot / 489 posts
It really depends on the friend. I've gotten to know how my friends respond to certain types of communication. I have one that requires tough love. Another doesn't. Both are having similar issues, so I respond accordingly. In general though, I tend to be more tactful in my approach.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
For me it also depends on the friend. But in your situation I don't think I'd tell anyone. I dated a huge loser who lied to me for 7 1/2 years. When people would tell me they didn't like him it would just hurt our friendship. People have to figure that kind of thing out for themselves.
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
@artbee: The last time I saw her, she said she had enough and was going to move on. Maybe I agreed with her too much because now she won't return my calls, emails or texts. I'm thinking she prob took him back again and doesn't want to tell me? We have been friends for over 20 years so I'm really bummed about it!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I usually try to be soft at first, then if they refuse to listen and continue to ask me for advice or my opinion (to get me to say what they want to hear) then I'll be a little harsher. I give really good dating advice so my single friends frequently ask me what their next move should be in a new relationship and if they don't listen to me, I just say "Well maybe it'll work out anyway" when deep down I know it won't. And it never does..
coconut / 8299 posts
For my close friends, I'll be brutally honest (in as nice a way as possible of course). If it's someone not as close to me, I'll try to sugar coat it but somehow be sure to get my point across.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
@autumnlove: I've had that happen to me too. A friend of mine broke up with her girlfriend who I didn't like, and then when I was hanging out with her she was showing me these really nasty texts that her ex sent her. So obviously I didn't like her even more. And then months later I hear from a mutual friend that they're back together. She never told me that and she never told me anything that happened in their relationship since. Not even when they broke up again about 2 years later. I'm hoping it's for good this time.
GOLD / wonderful olive / 19030 posts
My friends know me as the one to go to when they want the truth. I feel like honesty is what I would want so that's what I give. I may be nice when giving them the truth, but I don't sugarcoat it to make it seem better than the situation is.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Ugh. I have a situation like that, this is how I deal with it. I am as honest as I can be while still trying to be nice about it. I listen to everything she tells me and then repeat it back to her. I won't tell her how I feel about him personally, but I remind her of things she has told me. For example, I remind her that he told her he could never marry her, that he wasn't sure he could ever love her, that he loves his family more than he loves her, etc. These are all things she said to me, I would not say anything that she hadn't brought up before. Makes it easier to explain it later and that way, if she gets mad at me for saying something, hey, it's just what she had already told me!
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