My SIL was always very fit and toned before pregnancy and having her baby. She is about 8 weeks PP and my BIL is always telling her that she needs to lose weight in front of friends and family!
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Say whaaaaa!? No way!
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Hell no. He knows he'd lose an appendage if he ever made a comment about my weight, and to his credit, he never has! Your poor SIL, that's really rotten of him :[
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No. Never ever is this ok. Ever !
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Wow. Nope, I wouldn't be ok with that in front of people or in private.
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No way. He would never ever EVER comment on my weight/body, except to tell me I look amazing (whether it's true or not). Your poor SIL
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I have no kids yet and DH makes comments all the time. I've told him to look in the mirror, and to stop. I know that he's doing it just to tease but I hate it. He has done it a couple of times in front of people who put him back in his place really quickly. I know I"m not as fit as I was a few years ago, but I'm healthy.
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@MsLipGloss: They brought dinner and a cake over for us the other day. He told her she shouldn't eat any cake because it is time to get fit...while he scarfed down a huge slice. So awkward.
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That's not cool. I'm okay with him saying I look thinner
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No. The only comments he's allowed to make about my post-baby body (or even my pre-baby body) are "You look amazing" and "You're gorgeous" and "How did I ever get so lucky?"
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Oh hell no.
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Wow that is not acceptable
My weight is not an off limits topic but you need to have tact dammit!
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@autumnlove: is he super fit?
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@autumnlove: I woulda punched that lil bitch fo sho! Wth is wrong with guys like that? After that, he would never have a chance to change his in-my-mind DB status.
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@autumnlove: My DH has always been kind (if sometimes clueless) about my weight ups and downs.......but he'd NEVER say something in front of people!
The clueless part of my DH is that he's tall and naturally skinny, so he doesn't understand people that aren't like that (like me). Like, together we were going to cut carbs for a few weeks (before I was pregnant) because he wanted cut abs. He lasted 2 1/2 days before cheating and somehow lost 6 lbs. I did it, with NO cheating, for 2 weeks and lost about 3 1/2 lbs.....
he was like.....how can your body only lose 3 lbs? Um......I could hit him. But at least he has the good sense to only say it to me!
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Oh gawd no (well, he doesn't make NEGATIVE comments!). DH is so great. Love him.
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WHAT? In front of other people? And 8 weeks post partum?
DH has made thoughtless comments before that I'm sure he didn't mean badly, but never actually that I need to lose weight or something. That is so not cool.
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Oh no
I would never be okay with that! Unless my health was at risk and he was genuinely concerned.
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No way! He would never say anything negative about my body. He only tells me how sexy I look. That's really terrible. Especially only 8 weeks pp.
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@Anagram: I could have written this!
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I don't think dh has ever said anything negative about my weight - he always compliments me if I'm feeling down about it. If he made that comment to me at 8 weeks pp then I would probably lose it completely and tell him where to go.
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Nope. He flatters me.
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I think that's rude and hurtful! DH doesn't say anything about my weight, and I would be upset if he did.
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My dh says things about my weight, but only in private!!
Bil needs to take a chill pill. She's 8 weeks pp! Next time he says something shut him up! -
My hubby says I got bigger. But he gained like a heck of a lot more than me so I'm just like whatever! Lol. Also, he's only said that to me, not in front of anyone. Sheesh@ your bil.
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Oh helllll no. He never comments on my body or weight (alone or in public) unless it's something positive. He always tells me how proud he is of me for continuing to exercise during pregnancy and how good I look, and that's part of what motivates me to keep doing it!
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@mrbee: Yes, very fit.
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@autumnlove: Ah ok, so at least he's not being hypocritical about it.
Not a fan of those types of comments at all... even if his SO is ok with it, their LO will be understanding those comments soon enough!!
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@autumnlove: that is disgusting!
DH definitely is 100% positive and complimentary about my physical appearance and I'm thankful for that!
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That is totally unacceptable. My husband would never say anything like that, period.
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I'd be ok if he told me in private in a kind and non-derogatory way, but I'd kill him if he did it in public! That said, he has never said anything negative about my weight!!
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@mrbee: but he is to the extent that he didn't just have a baby! Maintaining is so much easier than recovering!
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@MsLipGloss: True... it's just that I have seen some less than fit people make public comments about their SO 's fitness levels, and it never ceases to amaze me.
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As @JoJoGirl: said Oh Hell No!!
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@mrbee: hahaha-too true! when I meet people like that I often think "man, I wish I could borrow your mirror for a day or two."
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That's horrible!!!! Especially in public, OMG, I'd kick my SO in the nuts if he said that.
I've told my SO that I would want him to tell me if I'm gaining weight or looking unfit (not that I wouldn't be able to tell), but we are both really into fitness, and I know if he did say something, it would be from a health standpoint, as well as a personality change standpoint. Something would have to change for me to start living a different lifestyle (pregnancy is an exception, obviously) and that would and should concern him.
So far, though, all he's ever done is compliment me.
I'd have a hard time holding my tongue if that was my BIL talking like that. I'd let him have it.
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i'd beat him up if that were me!
but i'm also used to weight comments. it's the asian way. (not by mr. bee.... by my family)
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@mrbee: ha! my ex-boyfriend was like that. He was naturally very thin and I was always a little self-conscious that we were about the same weight as it was; but when he started commenting on my weight gain saying I looked "pudgy" and needed to exercise and eat better, I was so upset. This coming from a guy who NEVER worked out to maintain weight and look fit. (he seriously had a six pack and never exercised!)
Yeah that's not okay
I mean I understand that he is going through adjusting to his wife's new body but still, NOT OKAY. I have a friend who said something similar once his wife got pregnant - "you're gonna lose the weight after you have the baby, right?" she was so mad and hurt!DH ONLY ever talks about my weight if I'm complaining about it... like if I'm putting myself down he says then do something about it instead of complaining. And I do, I do workout about once a week but I don't think I'll ever be what I was.
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Oh no no no no!!! Your poor SIL! I'm used to those kinds of comments like @Mrs. Bee from Asian people, but not really used to it or okay with it, but definitely not from DH! He's never said anything except for positives and most definitely not in front of other people! He's actually been really complimentary about body pre and post pregnancy. I'd be demoralized and devastated if he did that!
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never! i'm so sorry for your SIL, that must be very hurtful =( i had an uncle who told his SAHW, in front of her family while she was still pregnant, that he'd increase her allowance when she lost the baby weight & he'd give her bonuses for running =/
@mrbee: i am so far away from being fit & i have commented on DH's fitness level in public, but only in a complementary way. is that still bad? is it just a taboo topic for spouses? (he does compete in fitness competitions- bodybuilding/powerlifting, if that makes a difference, so he's open to events where his body & fitness level are judged, but i guess those are by judges & not your SO)
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53 comments