What do you say when people ask you inappropriate questions like "Are you planning to have kids? How many kids are you having? Do you want to have kids? When are you having kids?" etc.?
I really don't understand why people think this is appropriate. I just went to meet DH for what was supposed to be a nice lunch date to celebrate a friend who's retiring. But the lady next to me at the bar (who DH knew from when he worked there) spent about 10 minutes going on and on about how we really should consider having kids and how much of a blessing they are (really?? No shit! I didn't realize that!)
We never want to say "Yes, we're trying to have kids" because I feel like that sort of makes them asking the question acceptable, and gives them license to ask us down the road how things are going. We usually respond with something like "We'll see what happens" or today DH said "Anything is a possibility."
But seriously, the 10th time she said they were a blessing I was so tempted to turn around (yes, she kept talking even though my back was to her) and scream "Yes. I know very well they're a blessing. I'd love to be 32 weeks pregnant right now but my baby died."
But alas, I know when something is inappropriate.
Any advice on how to handle these situations?
(I ended up scarfing down my lunch and grabbing my purse and telling DH I had to get back to work)
For others I say "that's a popular question" and change the subject. I don't mind if friends ask as they are friends and it's more like "do you want kids" and not a "why haven't you had kids yet?!". And I don't tell anyone our plan, I just say we have a plan for kids but we aren't sharing that plan. No one questions that answer.
etc etc. this month will be our first time TTCing so i don't know what's in store for us but it INFURIATES me. last time i saw them was enough and i snapped and said "HOW DO YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN TRYING FOR A YEAR AND CAN'T GET PREGNANT AND EVERY TIME YOU ASK IT IS RUBBING SALT IN THE WOUND???" i went on to explain how completely inappropriate it is to ask that and hopefully they will shut up about it. so sorry for your loss, op xo
, and incredibly rude of her to say "you just need to lay there" like the reason you don't have a baby is that you're too lazy? WTF lady.
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