The Atlantic article about women having it all made me think-- when you were a kid, who was your primary care-giver? Mostly mom, mostly dad, 50/50? And, how do you see your own family's care giving working out?
Discuss!
-
Mostly my step mom. She was (and still is) a SAHM. My dad worked a lot.
-
My mom, she was a SAHM. But that doesn't mean dad wasn't a SUPER involved parent. Way more than most of my friends' dads... but mom was still primary since she didn't work outside the home.
Hubs and I will be pretty equal. If anything he may do a little more than me because he has the ability to work from home if he needs to so on days when the baby is sick or day care is closed, he will stay home.
-
my mom cared for us as a sahm until i was 2 1/2.
she worked from then on and we had a babysitter after school until i was about 11. we were then in after school activities, or home alone until my parents came home. but they had their own business so their hours were flexible-ish, and they always picked us up from school.
-
My mom when I was young but she went back to work when I was about 8. So then we kind of became our own primary care. I do remember my aunt watching us sometimes too.
-
For me, my mom was a SAHM, my dad earned the money-- they both always wanted it that way since before they got married. But my dad frequently didn't get home until after we were in bed, never did 'housework' type stuff at all, and just did the fun stuff with us on the weekends. I never felt neglected or that he didn't care, but we were all definitely closer to my mom because she was home all day and doing the things that needed to be done at home. Even now that their circumstances have changed, she still does all the house stuff.
For me and H, we have agreed that I will stay at home for at least a few years with the kids, then I can't see myself having a job with inflexible hours at least until they are good bit older. But, that's my personal preference, and the financials work out since he makes so much more than me. So I would expect our split to be more like 75/25. My brother and his wife are much more like 50/50 and that works great for them. But I will definitely always expect H to be more involved than my dad was, and we will make other sacrifices for that (smaller house so he will have a shorter commute, that kind of stuff).
(Please note this is in no way a criticism of my parents! I just think a lot of us grew up with the traditional mom does the child care and I'm interested to hear other experiences and how it shapes your own families) -
My Dad worked at home in the evenings so he took us to school. My Mom worked and finished up her BA and MBA with night classes...but I still remember her doing MORE than my Dad!
-
when i was really little, my mom worked 3-11 a couple days a week so she was home with us most of the day, then once we were in school, she worked 730-330 so she was home most of the time in the afternoon. during the summers my grandma watched us. i never went to daycare or had a babysitter that wasn't family.
we don't have a LO yet, but our plan is that i will take LO to work with me and eventually i may teach an evening or weekend class so DH can watch them but i'd be home most of the time. he's a teacher, so he only works in the summer if he wants to (right now without LOs, it's a must for us $$ wise). we'd LOVE for us both to be home for summers while LOs are little, make lots of great memories!
-
My dad worked nights until I was 6 or so, he babysat us during the days when my mom worked. Once he switched we went to an after school daycare and mom would pick us up. So I would say 50/50, but dad could never be there at nights when we were younger due to weird hours. He hated it and switched jobs just so he could spend more time with us as an entire family.
-
My mom was a SAHM so I'd have to say she was the primary caregiver. But my dad had an odd schedule -- he'd work 6 weeks of night shifts (about 2 p.m. - 11 p.m.) then have 3 days off, then work 6 weeks of day shifts, then have 3 days off. So it's not like he worked a ton and was never home and never helped with me or the house or anything. He was actually around quite a bit, but my mom was definitely the cooker and the cleaner of the two.
-
Both parents were very involved in the evenings/weekends. I started pre-school at 2 so I was always there during the day before I started elementary school.
-
My mom was my primary caregiver since she was a SAHM. I think it was a 75% / 25% between my mom and dad.
With our LO, I am a SAHM. I think I handle 65% to DH's 35%. I know DH wishes the caregiving was more equal but he works long hours so it's hard to be 50-50. -
My mom since she was a SAHM.
-
My mom traveled a bit for work, so I would probably have to say my dad. When she was home, I'd say they probably split it pretty evenly with my mom maybe doing a bit more (like cooking more elaborate dinners then canned chop suey and spaghetti and meat sauce).
Reply
Subscribe to our newsletter
- Google Plus
- Stumbleupon
- Twitter
- Facebook
- Pinterest
- Favorite0
13 comments