DH and I have been making an effort to do weekly date nights. We get a sitter as often as possible, but sometimes need to do at-home dates. This week we snagged a few lobster tails on sale and watched a YouTube video on how to butterfly and cook them, then we enjoyed them together while DD was napping. It was super fun and simple.
What are other, fun, simple yet special things for at-home date nights? I know there's websites like Dating Divas but some of them seem like they take SO.MUCH. prep.
pear / 1718 posts
Some fun ideas I've run across:
-Fondue Night
-Dessert-Off: Each person cooks a dessert
-Cheese Tasting
grapefruit / 4361 posts
Game night
Massages (watch a YouTube tutorial while doing it)
Fire in firepit or fireplace
nectarine / 2018 posts
The library in our old town had board games so we would take turns picking one up occasionally. We'd make some random snacks and play a new game.
Sometimes just turning a meal into a picnic on the floor or in the backyard can make it more fun.
Sometimes DH will convince me to play a video game with him - I'm not super interested in them and typically terrible but it can be fun.
pomelo / 5621 posts
Board games or cards are good. DH and I started playing darts a couple years ago in our basement. In the summer a backyard fire.
persimmon / 1310 posts
Massages while watching or listening to something is our typical way of spending alone time.
Sometimes we will pick up a special meal or dessert to eat at home with a bottle of wine or a cocktail.
nectarine / 2180 posts
We do wine and cheese nights, which is just what it sounds like. A nice bottle of wine and some good cheese, often eaten picnic style while watching a movie.
pomelo / 5573 posts
We tried to do game night - we got really into Rummikub for a while and were doing that one night a week. It always seems to fall by the wayside, though. Really I'd be happy with one night a week where we had a glass of wine and watched something together, as opposed to the usual "I watch something while he works on the computer" routine.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
My problem with date nights at home is usually by Friday (when we can realistically plan it with DH's job) I just want to fall asleep early 
Going out gives a kick of adrenaline but we rarely do it. Our variety of stay-home date is just takeout and a movie, not exactly original so I'm loving these ideas...
persimmon / 1381 posts
I love these ideas! Our at home date nights are just eating dinner and maybe some wine after the kids are in bed.
nectarine / 2180 posts
@periwinklebee: thankfully for us we can make a midweek date night happen some weeks, which saves us b/c Friday nights are usually take-out and relaxing in separate rooms to decompress
pear / 1586 posts
We do Blue Apron occasionally and we schedule for a later-in-the-week delivery and save the best/most labor intensive prep for a Saturday at-home date night. We will prep and cook together while drinking wine and listening to music.
We also like to get a French picnic type of meal (bread, cheese, pate, and wine) and eat that after the kids go down.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@snarkybiochemist: that's awesome - it's so hard to find time for work, LO, relationship, and on top-of-that time to just be alone and decompress.
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@periwinklebee: same situation, but to me.. a lot of these sound like more cleaning/chores, which since I sah more than not with three kids lately... sounds terrible.
pomegranate / 3272 posts
I really wish DH liked cheese b/c I would love wine and cheese nights! Instead one thing we like to do is do a meat and cheese tray with more meat than cheese. 
I also get a loaf of really good crusty bread and heat up some spicy marinara. Plus wine. Otherwise, it's take out and a movie after the boys go to bed.
My issue with home date nights is that we tend to be a little cluttered and it's hard for me to relax and not think about all of the clutter around me! We just redid our basement so I'm working to make sure there is a space that we can keep clean-ish so I don't have to see the rest of the house.
@erinbaderin: my grandparents used to play Rummicub every Sunday night. I love that game.
pomelo / 5220 posts
Gosh I would be such a fail at in home date night. I'd be trying to wash something or be falling asleep during a movie. Maybe if I try to be more intentional about it, it will work - like plan a special meal and make sure we pretend we are "out" versus just blobbing on the couch. Of course, I'm also sort of bitter I am the only one thinking about this stuff...
nectarine / 2964 posts
Gosh, cooking together sounds so much like work... aren't we doing that every day already? We literally just did hot pot night at home .... with DS (6 yo) eating with us lol. If I make that much effort (eg. lobster tail, which was on our "menu" for tonight haha) I'd better be feeding DS as I am doing it lol Sorry but that's just me!
My question with At Home Date Nights is.... how is it different than the time you are both at home together after your kids are asleep...?
If we do make an effort to spend time with each other (instead of going back to our desks and continue to work - we now both work at home so the work/life balance is very blurry unfortunately ) we really usually just watch a movie together, or a TV show. Something that for sure we can't involve DS in. Recently we started watching The Romanoffs on Amazon Prime. One episode comes out each week and it is our special hour together. I like that Or, sometimes we make Chinese dessert dumplings together (it is like a sweet soup with round dumpling balls) but that's really like a 30-mins tops thing.
@psw27: RE: " I'm also sort of bitter I am the only one thinking about this stuff..." sigh... same here!
ETA: I can suggest what DS and I do together when DH is not here which can sort of feel like a home date lol. We would make dinner, go outside and eat on the patio and we play scrabbles as we were eating. Or chess, or whatever board game you are into. We both love that but that's something I do with DS not DH
nectarine / 2180 posts
@irene: one way we make it feel more date like is no phones and often a movie is on the table rather then just a tv show. We allow for the whole night together rather then dinner together and then doing our own thing and then back together for the end of the night and we linger over dinner really talking much like we would do at a restaurant. For us that's enough to make it feel like a date and help us feel connected and more in tune with each other. Your mileage my vary.
pear / 1718 posts
@DesertDreams88: Ah yes! Fire in the fireplace and cozy up with some yummy drinks!
@catgirl: @ALV91711: Game night, definitely. Last winter we played a few hands of Uno--it was so out of the ordinary and fun.
@Iced Tea: Oo that makes me think it would be fun to try a new seasonal cocktail together.
@snarkybiochemist: That sounds like a perfect date!
pear / 1718 posts
@jape14: Blue Apron is genius for date night! Also, French picnic is right up my alley, but DH usually likes something more hearty--I'll have to brainstorm a happy-medium.
@Mommy Finger: Yes, it is so hard to block out all the stuff around you that you could be dealing with. I was so proud of myself yesterday...I just managed to focus on DH and what we were doing, despite the fact we were in the middle of a chore-filled Sunday.
pear / 1718 posts
@irene: The key is being invested in what you are doing and doing something special, for fun. DH and I looked forward to DD's nap all week long, and cooking lobster tails was super fast, easy and special to us.
At home date night is totally different from just being together after DD goes to bed. Generally, we are running around, finishing chores, prepping for the next day. We watch a TV show together 2-3 times a week but usually pause it to switch laundry around, deal with DD delaying bedtime, and fold laundry. We don't watch TV shows during an at home date night and ignore the chores.
pear / 1718 posts
@snarkybiochemist: Yes, exactly! Great tips to make it more of a date night and less of a regular night.
nectarine / 2180 posts
@SweetCaroline: its like 95% mindset and commitment to not doing chores or looking at our phones and 5% about the actual activity
pomelo / 5084 posts
@SweetCaroline: My friend works for dating divas! Ha! Didn’t know anyone knew of it. We are boring. We find Netflix shows we both like (quite a difficult feat actually). Or we’ve occasionally sampled whiskeys or wine/beer flights.
grapefruit / 4466 posts
@2littlepumpkins: hah, if I was at home more during the day I would insist on more date nights out. Commuting lately sucks all desire out of me to leave the house when I don't absolutely have to
grapefruit / 4455 posts
@periwinklebee: it sounds like commuting is in my near future so I'm sure I'll change my tune.. but I will always be team take out over cooking together!
pomegranate / 3272 posts
@psw27: YES to the feeling bitter. If I left it up to DH, we'd never leave the house and we'd always just sit on the couch on our phones........And then he'd complain that we don't talk anymore.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
We do a couple of things, I noticed we have to have an activity to do otherwise we just end up doing parallel play, lol!
One thing we did was to invest in a marriage workshop kit. It's great, has a DVD to watch, cards to prompt conversation and workbooks. The way I look at it is that we can always work on our relationships and it's helped us to understand our communication styles and how they are different.
We also work on small projects together and occasionally read the same book so we can talk about it.
nectarine / 2964 posts
@snarkybiochemist: Problem is there is very usually no movies we want to watch, or no movies we want to watch together (I like scifi and he likes spy). Don't know what happened but many years ago we used to be watch a lot of movies together. Then it also depends on the mood.... I think DH is going through some sort of midlife crisis to be honest. It is hard to talk to him and to keep everything light and fun and romantic. Very rarely when all stars align.
@SweetCaroline: I really admire how it works for you Truthfully. I guess cooking had always, always been a chore to me no matter what we are cooking. We were cooking every weekend together since 15 years ago when we first lived together... never felt the romance, but the pressure of gosh what do we buy, making a list, grocery, wash vegetables, chop, clean up afterwards. grrr. Otherwise thanks for the tips... honestly I guess we really don't even watch TV together most of the time. So watching TV together was very special at least for me
I always thought he was a workaholic, but lately I am realizing I am the workaholic, and I need a LOT of me time (after work and the daily mommy chores) before I can spend time together with him. It is a problem.
@looch: Where do you find a marriage workshop kit??? I need to take a look! Funny enough we did a similar thing per our FINANCIAL ADVISOR's suggestion (he actually had booklets and required us to spend weekends together to go through them), and I really liked it. And it is so cute you guys read the same book and do small projects together. We don't read and I can't phantom what projects could we do! But that sounds very nice.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@irene: We like Gottman, it is non-religious.
https://www.gottman.com/couples/products/?fwp_couples_products=most-popular
The projects we do are things like taking photos of all our son's artwork and making it into a book, as a current example. With two people, it goes faster.
nectarine / 2180 posts
@irene: oh it took us awhile to find things we want to watch together, sometimes we fall back on watching the same movies over again. I'm sorry your husband is having a difficult time and that its hard to find subjects to talk about.
pomegranate / 3272 posts
@looch: Is there a specific one you'd recommend? I think we'd really benefit from this!
pear / 1992 posts
Taking a lot of great ideas from this thread - thanks!
We do some things simlarly to other posters. At home date night is very much about the intention and attention vs. the actual activity for us.
Makinga nicer dinner (not necessarily complicated or fancy) after LO goes to bed and eating together without screens is a top pick. Same with the wine/chees/meats snack plate as dinner during a movie.
Takeout delivery after LO goes to bed, again along with a movie, is also a fave and gives us the no-work aspect of not cooking.
We also, when the weather is nice, will have a backyard fire after dinner and spend time outside chatting while listening to music.
I like the suggestion about playing a game - cards or scrabble or something similar - is an activity I've suggested before but we don't seem to stick with it. More likely this happens when we have friends over.
pomelo / 5573 posts
My husband and I have a similar problem that our taste in tv and movies is pretty different, but I got an idea from a podcast that I liked - you take turns picking each week, but both of you have to put the phones down and actually watch. I find this makes you be intentional about thinking about something the other person might like without having them actually have veto power, and then we both get exposed to things we might not actually have picked but probably will enjoy.
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