I'm going to go crazy.
What age in weeks or months did some form of CIO help sleep in your home?
What method worked for you/what were you comfortable with, and what was sleep before you sleep trained?
Oh helpppp.
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Around 3 months? Maybe 3.5? Hard to remember a year or so later despite being such a huge deal at the time! We didn't really do true CIO though, we stuck with the Ferber method and it worked SO WELL. Prior to it we were dealing with like 40-60 minutes of on and off hysterical crying. The first day I think it took about a half hour for him to fall asleep, but by day three it was down to like ten minutes.
Here's a link that explains it really well: http://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html
For us it was key to set the timer or stopwatch on my phone so that I could track how long he had been crying - it always felt like WAY longer than it had actually been. Putting a soother in the crib was also a huge help - we got one of those light-up aquarium-style ones.
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We started a little after 4 months and didn't get to STTN until 7 months. We got down to one night waking before that point, which was better than what we were dealing with, which was basically a child that would never fall asleep and would cry and cry for hours because he was so overtired!
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We didn't do CIO until 12.5 months and it worked in 3 nights.
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@wonderstruck: thanks for link! Glad this worked for you, and at an age younger than my DS currently.
I began to read and I just want to make sure I say it....my selfishness is not for sttn, I don't mind X amount of wake ups to nurse, it's the unsettledness at bedtime and 80 zillion wake ups throughout the night that are sending me over the edge. I don't want anyone to think I want sttn, just some sanity/change from all the wakings.
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@Beebug: Honestly, I haven't read the full link since I was dealing with this - a friend sent it to me, I found it to be really helpful and left the bookmark there for next time I need it. But I don't think wanting your LO to sleep well at night is ever selfish! Well, unless it's a situation where they're waking because they're hungry or something like that. We were fortunate in that once LO started completely soothing himself to sleep (which took less than a week!) it pretty much immediately translated to to him soothing himself back to sleep when he woke up at night as well. Which was probably luck, but crossing my fingers that you have a similar experience!
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We tried CIO at 5months b/c we couldn't take it anymore so I feel you! we tried for a week, and LO just wouldn't have it. Let her cry up to an hour and still didn't sleep so we shelved it and survived for a bit and then tried again at 7 months - took a week or so again but she improved a lot much more quickly and by 10 days we were on the routine that we're at now - 5/10 mins of crying for bed and naps, sometimes less. Night wake ups only took two nights to stop. We used the link that @Wonderstruck: posted and it worked for us
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Following, we are in the same boat. Hang in there!
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we did early, 3.5 monthsish, because my son was waking up inconsolable 45 minutes after falling asleep. I'd nurse him to sleep just fine then we'd be up and down for at least an hour at the 45 minute mark. One night I just got fed up and let him cry with no checks, and it took about 45 minutes of crying, but the next two nights it didn't happen - then the third night it did but he only cried about 10 minutes, then less every night after that. At 4 months we hit a textbook regression + jet lag + teeth + illness, and it all went to hell - but something must have stuck cause now at nearly 6 months he seems to have assimilated the self soothing skills he needs - he goes down awake at bedtime and naps, wakes once a night for a feed. We didn't need to CIO again except for on the rare occasion when he is overtired, in which case I usually do pick him up and soothe him to calm him down. I am a huge CIO advocate because of the great results we've had, but I recognise its not for everyone, nor does everyone have good results. How old is your LO?
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We did Ferber method for going to sleep just shy of 4 months. LO had been requiring an hour of walking before sleep, sleeping for 30 min, and then another hour of walking every night. It took a couple days to break her of the motion habit but we're so glad we did. Good luck.
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@ScarletBegonia: he will be 4m on the 17th. We did have 2 decent nights (only 10 or so wakings outside of nursing) but the last almost month has been anywhere from 15-40 times. I'm spent.
We did CIO at 5.5m with (22m) DD with great success.
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@Beebug: dude. 15-40 wakings?? If it were me...and it sounds like you are near the end of your tether...I would definitely do CIO even if its earlier than you did it with your daughter. I powered through the tough moments by remembering that when he sleeps better and i sleep better we will both be so much happier. The frequent night wakings must be super tough on him too. I'm sorry you're going through all this, it sounds rough. If you're not into sleep training yet, is there anyway someone can take over for the non-nursing wake ups so you can get some uninterrupted sleep?
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At 7 months. We would have done it sooner but we had a crazy moving situation where we were in a temporary condo until our house was finished, and I didn't want to do it with all the nutty changes going on.
I had read all about Ferber, and was ready to roll with that. She was waking up 2-3 times a night. The fact is, the checks pissed her off more. So we had to abort mission. We went full-fledged CIO. The first night she cried on and off for like an hour and it sucked so hard. It got significantly shorter over the next day or so, and by day 3 she was conked out asap. She STTN on that first night though, wore herself out screaming I guess. She basically STTN permanently after that. It's only been over the past few months that we've been battling molars that her sleep has been shaken up. I don't let her CIO unless I've given her tylenol or motrin and I know she's not in pain. But most of the time, if I give her tylenol at bedtime, if she wakes up at all - it's typically within 6-8 hours of the Tylenol, so I know it's probably worn off and she's truly uncomfortable and I immediately go get her.
Teeth suck.
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No CIO advice just sympathy, hope his sleep gets better soon!
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7 months. We did some half asked attempts starting around 4 months but for me, it wasn't the length of crying, it was the intensity that told me I didn't want to do it. She didn't scream so forcefully around 7 months & never cried more than 30 minutes.
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15-40 wakeups?!? OMG, you poor thing. We did Ferber around 6 1/2 months. She was waking 3 times/night, and Ferber brought it down to 1 wakeup. She didn't STTN til we night-weaned at 12 months. We've had to re-train a couple of times after illness or teething, but when we re-trained it always got better in just one or two nights. Hope things improve for you soon!
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We did CIO at 14 months after trying every other sleep training method. It worked beautifully after 2 awful nights.
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@BeBop: us too - the checks just made her angrier and delayed the sleep process even more.
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Around 4 months with both LOs. It wasn't really planned out, it was more like, I need a break, you are fed, you are changed. There is nothing else I can do for you at this point. We started with naps which seemed to have made night times easier. LOs have been STTN since.
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11 months, after 2 attempts at around 7 months and again at 9 months.
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We did first just shy of 4 months. I had a breakdown and DH sort of forced me into it. She was waking up every 30-90 mins, then it would take 30 mins to get her asleep. I have no clue how I was functioning at work. Or that it was safe me driving 30+ mins every day with her.
We set that we wouldn't feed till after 2, and we didn't do checks. Three nights later she was finally putting herself to sleep and sleeping longer stretches. Then she started sleeping till 5 or 6.
We had to resleep train at 6 months due to teething and multiple wakes up again. Three nights again and she was back to STTN.
Hugs!
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@Beebug: We did the Ferber method at around 5 months and it was a life saver. I think we could have done it earlier actually. She dropped from a zillion wake-ups to one wake-up after two nights. I can't say enough good things about it.
That said though, different things work for different babies. We tried some techniques from "No Cry Sleep Solution" with our daughter and they didn't help us at all, even though other moms have great success with them. We also tried pure Cry It Out but our daughter got really upset and wouldn't settle down. The Ferber method was what worked for us but it took a bit of trial and error. I think you have to find what works the best for you and your LO.
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5.5 months, and it worked incredibly well. We did a modified CIO...I would let him cry for up to 15 minutes, depending on the type of cry. A weak, tired but just fighting cry I would let go on for 20 minutes; a fierce, angry cry I would only let go on for 10, because in the latter case he needed something (he had soiled his diaper, or dropped his paci). He almost never made it to 10 minutes, and once or twice to 20.
He didn't properly sleep through the night (defining as 12 hour stretch with no wakeups) until after he weaned at 15 months, but at that point it was one wake up.
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I liked the sleep sense program. There is a blog post about it on here! I tried it at like 6 months.
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Around 3.5 months. Honestly, we did it so early that my LO did really well with it and we didn't have full-on CIO issues. It was more like fussing for 10-15 minutes, then sleeping. Good luck!
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It took us 3 tries, just because LO kept getting daycare illnesses right after sleep training, which would ruin the training.
But it finally stuck around 11 months.
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We did CIO around 4 months and got down to two wake ups. Then it got terrible again and we were up every single hour.
We did CIO extinction at 6 months and it worked in 2 nights and it has worked every since.
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OMG you poor thing! I'm sure you've already looked into this, but could reflux or a food sensitivity or something be making him uncomfortable when he lies down? That many wakeups is insane
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We attempted to 4 months old, but weren't ready. We suffered through two more tough months before successfully CIO'ing at 6 months old.
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@Zbug: I agree with you on the thought, but he naps mostly fine, same spot/routine. And he definitely wants to sleep, just can't get himself settled. I really don't think it's anything like that.
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I feel like the screaming he will do in the car let's say, if that's any hint of how CIO may go....we are in for it.
We did no checks with DD, checks definitely made it worse, but if we are going to do this, I struggle because he is still unreliable getting himself front to back (but will sleep on belly) especially if he was freaking, sometimes we do go in and reposition him, and he is outttt like a light after that. So maybe set/times checks would be best.
I struggle with all the other wakings though, I think we have to do this on a weekend and get DD to grandmas. Would we CIO every time he wakes and "start again" with the timed checks? He doesn't have a complete set nursing sched, usually between 12 and 1:30 and then 4-5 or so he nurses twice through the night.
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@.twist.: this is exactly what happened with us! I cant wait to give sleep training another go. Any thoughts on why things got so bad?
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We did a very modified CIO tonight. DH was out and we discussed I would do it without him. I put both fan's on in the rooms beside DDs room (bathroom fan between their room and mudroom with fan on other side).
I put him down with paci, and did 4 minutes. He lost paci within a minute. Went in, paci, gone for 4 more minutes. He lost that about 2 minutes in, and at that 4 minutes I repositioned him, paci in, and he was out. He is on his belly without paci. He has unsettled twice but only for a moment and got himself cozy again. The plan was to go 4 minutes twice, then 6, then 8, and if he made it to that point then to scrap it, lol.
*sigh of relief* for now. I am comfortable with what we did, I wasn't ready for extinction or cut paci for him, I felt it would be too much for right now, and we will see what the night brings.
....we won't go there with him trying to cut a daytime nap and wrecking the other ones, haha!
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@Beebug: Good luck!
We tried CIO twice and the first time was too early. I think LO was around 4 months. After a single night, it was obvious she wasn't ready. We tried again when she was around 5 months and it worked in only a couple nights. We didn't use it to stop all night wakings (she still nursed in the night until she was around 10 months) but it made the number of wakings alot more manageable. Now she STTN and is a really good sleeper (knock on wood).
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Thanks for posting this! My guy just turned 12 weeks and I'm thinking we will need to sleep train him, but I'm waiting for the 4 month mark. So many people that I've talked to sleep trained (CIO) earlier and it makes me feel some what better. I hate that I may have to resort to CIO, but my current bed-sharing situation is not working because little guy is eating every 1.5-2 hours!!
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I am currently CIO with my 16wk old. It's going much better than expected, and it has been so worth it. Though it was really hard the first night, I thought he'd cry a lot more than he did. Ever since then, he cries a little or fusses but nothing too bad. We even had one night where he didn't cry or fuss at all!
Naps, on the other hand, still suck. Will nap train soon. -
We had two 4 min cries (paci back in at 4 min mark) at 2/3 naps yesterday, at bedtime he went right to bed, not a peep!
Nursed 2x, up for day 6:10am.
Here's hoping!!!
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This thread is making me want to sleep train, I think I'll try it tonight!
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@Bao: It has changed my life basically. He goes down with minimal fuss now at naps and night, and takes on average 1.5hr naps where he used to do 45 minutes if I was lucky. The short term sadness of letting his cry has been SOOOO offset by the removal of nap and bedtime stress. Its not for everyone but I'm about 1000% happier and more relaxed.
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@ScarletBegonia: agree. Selfishly what this has done for my mental health, in a matter of two days!?
I don't think there would be any argument that he's not better off now too. Down without a peep, not even the paci. Nursed, burped, laid him down, he rolled from his back to his side and was/is out! Glorrrrious
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42 comments