pineapple / 12234 posts
I've never brought my LO's to a fancy restaurant. Casual restaurants, yes but if either of them acts up, we leave.
I'm all for a baby ban at a really nice place...I would only be disappointed if casual restaurants started to do the same.
grapefruit / 4110 posts
We just took our toddler to a nicer restaurant and he sat and watched cartoons the whole time. We did have to turn his volume down once when he turned it up but otherwise you wouldn't even have known he was there. We were tourists and didnt know exactly how nice it was.
bananas / 9899 posts
@Modern Daisy: I agree. Sometimes it isn't even just a screaming kid. In a super fancy romantic restaurant the atmosphere kind of suffers if there are high chairs and crayons.
pomegranate / 3768 posts
DH and I went to Alinea for my birthday and it's definitely a place I would NOT bring a baby!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Once I went out with some friends and their kids- four kids under 4 and as soon as we were seated a couple in a booth asked to be reseated. The baby in the group was the most quiet. The tots were making all the mess and noise. Even at family friendly places like TG I Fridays (where we were) people want a pleasant experience.
At a super fancy spot with intimate seating there is probably a greater need for every table to help set the mood and maintain ambiance. I don't think banning children is a horrible idea since people have plenty of other choices to dine.
honeydew / 7667 posts
@kjpugs: My little town has half a dozen places to eat. I'd bring my baby to the nice steak place (where I may or may not wear a t-shirt to eat a $35 dollar steak (everyone else tends to dress up)) without a second thought - a girl has got to eat and it is 2 miles from my house. With that said if she started to act up my DH or I will certainly not just let her scream.
honeydew / 7303 posts
I probably would t take LO to a place like that, but I feel I deserve the right to take my LO wherever I choose. I would Def take her outside if she was having a tantrum though.
grapefruit / 4442 posts
I wouldnt bring my baby to a high end restaurant because I want to enjoy my high end meal. I would be okay if there was a ban. Personally for me its a no brainer like not bringing a baby to the movies.
pomegranate / 3809 posts
Or maybe more restaurants could have a 'family' seating section? I used to go to a nice place, (not TGIF casual, but not as fancy as Alinea, 40ish dollar plates) and they had a whole separate room closed off by french doors that they used as their function room or family dining area.
grapefruit / 4862 posts
@PurplePumps: I tend to notice our favorite mexican place puts people with kids in an area off to the side. It's safer (it's a side room, not the crowded dining room, so having the baby in the carseat/sling isn't in the way) and probably annoys diners less! I would still not let LO cry but she's generally very good and I haven't had to do anything before.
apricot / 444 posts
@plantains:
Another new yorker here who takes her baby out to all kinds of seemingly inappropriate (i.e. nice) places, both in NY and abroad (where we are living temporarily) and when we are traveling. She doesn't stay out past bedtime, but brunch, lunch, and early dinner are pretty fun with her. And she's never once melted down. If she did, I'd definitely step out to calm her down after a minute. So yeah, it sounds different from the infamous Alinea fiasco, but a full-on baby ban seems redonk to me.
A ban on bankers out with the boys, however, sounds AMAZING. Especially if they are talking loudly about the proportions of the ladies they are meeting up with later. G-ross.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
@plantains: I think everything you've said here is perfectly reasonable! We're in NYC too, and dh is a huuuge foodie (food blog and everything!), so I certainly imagine that we will be bringing baby with us some of the time when we go out. Not to anything as fancy as Alinea, and probably not so fancy/formal that there are table cloths, but there are a whole lot of restaurants that we will I'm sure at least try to make feasible. My parents will be available to babysit sometimes (my dad has already offered for big occasions like birthdays), but there are sometimes when we dine out with other people that it's nice to be all together, and plenty of places are family friendly in NYC without being solely child-focused. Like you said, we will go early in the evening or like for brunch/lunch most often, and we won't let her scream/bother people--we'd take her outside or leave. It's a part of our lifestyle and we will want her to learn how to behave in public. Granted our baby isn't born yet, but I've dined out with my nieces (5 and 1) in other cities and know it can work well. As children too, my brother and I ate out frequently, as did dh--his mom still has these little miniature teddybears my husband used to play with specifically at restaurants, haha: they were special toys only used then, so he got really excited and would play nice and quietly
persimmon / 1363 posts
I have brought my LO to lots of high end restaurants when she was an infant and would be asleep the whole time. The first time she went to one she was 3 days old. Now that she's loud and bangy on the table and tries to pull dishes off the table, I would never bring her anywhere other than a place that was super loud. I think an 8 month old is way too loud for a quiet dining place that caters to adults, regardless of price. I also take her out to calm down if she cries anywhere that is quiet - church, restaurants, etc.
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
We also take LO to pretty much every restaurant we eat at, but our choices are strategic. If we're running errands and everyone gets hungry, we'll find somewhere quick with a kids menu and crayons that will get her meal out in 10-15 minutes. If we're planning on going to a nicer restaurant, we plan to eat earlier, bring snacks and entertainment for her and have our "mic drop, I'm out" pact that basically states if it hits the fan, I up and head to the car with DD while DH gets our dinner packed up and pays. We've never actually had to leave a restaurant either. She has excellent manners when we're out (better than at home for sure!) and as long as we're smart about it she can come almost anywhere with us. It's all about setting yourself up for success.
papaya / 10570 posts
Even if the parent leaps up and takes their crying child outside at the first sign of a tantrum, the other diners will still be subjected to 30 seconds to a minute of screaming which, if I'm paying £250 to eat at a fancy place, would be completely unacceptable to me. I support ban in super high end restaurants.
@Foodnerd81: If you had a restaurant with a waiting list and were charging £250 per head plus wine, would you want to offer a refund to a couple because they had chosen to come with a baby and that baby wasn't allowing them to enjoy their meal on this occasion?? With a waiting list, it's unlikely that potential diners will come in off the street int he hope of getting a table so that would be at least £500 revenue lost.
I think if I was a fancy restaurant owner/manager, I would much prefer to have a blanket ban on children that to have to approach a couple who's baby is freaking out and ask them to please take the baby outside!! It's one thing if the parents are ignoring him/her (they deserve to be put in their place) but if the parents are trying to console him/her and the baby is freaking out, I'd feel awful adding to their problems and embarrassing them in front of the other diners. And what do you do if the baby is giggling loudly and shrieking with delight?? Could you ask someone to please stop their baby being happy because it is ruining the ambiance?!! It's a toughie!
pear / 1672 posts
@plantains: LOL re: your nephew. There's just no home training anymore!! Add the parents and other adults are just as bad. We've taken LO to some places that probably are a fine line, but at like 5pm when Grammy & Papa come for a visit. Actually the last time we went out then I couldn't really enjoy the food because it was her dinner and I was feeding her. I just hope I can make sure that LO is the type that we'll be able to take to real restaurants.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@mjane: seriously. I took her to lunch at STK in Midtown and the couple sat next to us were so blindingly drunk it was insane. The dude was groping the lady like it was a nightclub or something. I don't need to see anybody's boobies while trying to eat my salad. Ban them before you ban babies hahaha.
@nana87: I love that mini teddy bear idea. I might have to steal that. A little toy that she only gets when we eat out sounds so cool.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
@plantains: haha, it is a really good idea! I'm stealing it from my mil too. my brother sometimes distracts my niece with his iphone so she can play games at dinner as well, if screentime exposure isn't a concern
I wonder if some of the difference we're seeing from New Yorkers vs people from other places is also that in NYC, nice restaurants aren't always quiet? Sometimes there's so much noise--music or general hub-bub from diners--that I think a kid wouldn't be all that noticeable!
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@BKCaribBaby: there really isn't! For me, flights are the hugest issue of all. When I am flying business class and your kid is leaning over and kicking my seat while I am trying to sleep, that pisses me off. But there are no calls to ban babies from flying. Oh well. Seriously though, a lot of parents get upset with me for asking their 5 year old to please stop kicking my seat. Madness I tell you, madness.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@nana87: you might be on to something. So many nice restaurants are really noisy and also very dark. Because they are so dark, you often don't realise that there are kids there until they get up to leave. Maybe that has something to do with it.
pineapple / 12526 posts
I absolutely think a baby has no place in a super fancy restaurant. I would support a ban. If Im paying $500 for a meal, Im doing it sans my own kids. If I wanted to listen to screaming children, I'd eat dinner at home.
apricot / 469 posts
Common sense would tell me not to take a kid to such a restaurant. I get that some parents will take their kid out when they start to throw a tantrum, but that brings its own annoyances, the walking in and out and the yelling as they are taken out. High end restaurants just aren't good places for kids, they don't enjoy it and the other patrons don't enjoy them either.
I get what some of the PP's are saying about adults behaving badly in restaurants, I lived in NYC until recently and am all too familiar with the little boy bankers! But let be honest here, kids are much more volitile than adults in general.
I think that if you have your kid with you at a restaurant, it can be hard to see from an outside perspective how they are affecting the other diners, kind of like that loud table, who doesn't realise how loud they are!
bananas / 9899 posts
I think there is a big difference between a regular "nice" restaurant and one that is so exclusive there is a waiting list and charges upwards of $250/plate. I see absolutely no reason why kids should ever be present in the latter.
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
Restaurants are privately owned.. I think owners can do whatever they want. There was a local diner here that banned animals because a man let his service dog eat food off of a plate on the floor. Obviously there are rules for service dogs but if a restaurant can turn you away for not wearing a sport coat, they could definitely kick you out for a screaming baby. Or an adult screaming and making a scene. Or a service animal barking... No matter what, someone's gonna get upset about it and there will be an uproar and boycott. That restaurant needs a host that can handle those situations better. But a restaurant that makes you pre pay... Not so sure that's high on their priority list! I don't think they're concerned about a boycott..
eggplant / 11824 posts
I totally support banning minors from some very high-end restaurants, evening/late night movies and other places.
The problem for me is almost every time I’ve been around a badly behaving (or even normal behaving!) baby/toddler/little kid in a really nice place is that the vast majority of parents who bring little kids to totally inappropriate places DON’T take any responsibility for their child’s behavior – they seem to have the opinion that they are paying big bucks so THEY are going to enjoy their meal, regardless of their kid. Or they just lack empathy and common sense. Since you can’t regulate whether people will be thoughtful, considerate parents; I have no problem with a restaurant having a blanket ban on children.
bananas / 9899 posts
@looch: I think it was Singapore airlines that I originally read about? In the article it mentioned that some other airlines were thinking of following suit.
bananas / 9899 posts
GOLD / pomelo / 5737 posts
I'm not 100% sure but I don't think I would support a baby ban. Maybe after a certain time? Ideally parents of fussy kids would take them out of the dining area even before the meltdown/screaming, and other diners would be ok with that. A little give and take is just part of living in a society. I think @plantains made some good points about lifestyle. On the other hand some parents need a swift kick in the ass to behave appropriately. I also don't see why this had to become such a big deal as to end up in the news.
wonderful pear / 26210 posts
@pui: thanks for that! I have flown Singapore Air (the regular, not the low cost subsidiary) and it was def. an experience, even in economy!
pomelo / 5257 posts
@plantains: @nana87: I don't know, I really don't think this can be dismissed as being a NYC thing or a regional difference. I lived in NYC for years and I still appreciate very nice restaurants being geared towards adults. Even if there is loud conversation going on in a restaurant, a screaming baby is a totally different noise that you can still hear even in a loud restaurant. And in dim lighting, the electronics that it seems most parents use to keep their kids quiet these days are really annoying.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
@mrsjyw: I agree with this. I know my child's limits, and we only take her to family-friendly restaurants. We know that she's got about 45-60 minutes of good behavior in her so we like to make our restaurant meals quick and easy!
If she's having a meltdown, we leave. If she acts up but her attitude can be easily controller (say, she's bored or hungry!) we stay.
If I was spending $500 on a meal, though, I'd expect a quiet restaurant with a dress code -- which alludes that children aren't recommended as guests.
cantaloupe / 6923 posts
I am used to thousands of babys everywhere so my opinion might not count. But I find so many more things more offensive than a little baby. Like loud talkers or drunk people or people spitting into their napkins the entire meal. All of which I have seen at local "high end" restaurants. Babies crying do not bug me.
But parents who let their kids run around in restaurants bug me. I don't care that your kid has too much energy and wants to bump every patrons chair while they run around, if they cant sit still for an hour to eat, don't bring them out!
coconut / 8430 posts
Is this any different than banning children from first/biz class areas of a plane? You can't even take them "outside" to try to calm them down.
I don't support a ban. I think it's a slippery slope. That being said, I wouldn't bring my child to Alinea.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@MrsSCB: I think we may need to agree to disagree on this. I just don't see a bunch of kids screaming in restaurants, and when their parents give them iphones to keep them quiet they usually have headphones.
For me, I will keep taking my kid to high end restaurants so long she continues to behave and they continue to take my money.
pomelo / 5257 posts
@plantains: well, putting aside the fact that I've been in plenty of restaurants where headphones were not used, the light is unpleasant as well. I guess I've just been unlucky. I just think it's kind of a cop out to say "oh it's different in NYC" when not everyone feels that it is or should be different.
cantaloupe / 6171 posts
@MrsSCB: I didn't mean to imply that it was only NYC: I was mostly commenting on the difference of opinion I was seeing from New Yorkers and people from other places on this particular thread. I lived in DC for 4 years (where dh grew up and ate at restaurants regularly) and was thinking of it as well, and have gone out to eat with my nieces in San Francisco, Berkeley, and Ann Arbor (small Michigan town where I grew up and ate at restaurants regularly, and where my nieces now live). What I meant was there's a difference between a quiet, adult type of restaurant (in all of those cities, and I think more common in less urban areas), and restaurants that I'd still consider "nice" but that are loud enough that I don't think would be inappropriate for children.
Maybe what I'm trying to say is that there are different types of nice restaurants, and maybe there are more likely to have a certain type of nice restaurants that I think a well-behaved child is fine dining in in a place like NYC (or any other Urban area like DC or the Bay Area). Using NYC/Upper West Side examples, I've seen plenty of kids in restaurants like Tolani, Cafe Frida, or Nice Matin. These are more high end than a lot of other restaurants but still nothing like Dovetail or Boulud Sud, where I would not take a kid until they were much older, since they are louder and not as formal (ie, no dress code, no table cloths).
grapefruit / 4671 posts
@MrsSCB: I didn't actually say 'oh it is different in NYC', what I said was that perhaps regional differences play a role in people's perspective on taking kids to restaurants. Plenty of NYC dwellers have agreed that yes, they take their kids out to eat in restaurants as eating out tends to be a bigger part of life here. Additionally, the definition of a 'family friendly' establishment is often different.
Th elight from an iphone is annoying whether it is being used by a childor an adult, so unless they are noisy, they no longer bother me. A kid on an iphone with headphones doesn't annoy me anymore than teh foodie at the next table instagraming every single bit of food that comes out for her blog.
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