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I am all for child-free restaurants if the ambience calls for it.

Esp in the case of $500+ meal restaurants, DH and I would most def make plans to go alone, sans baby. And our DS is very well-mannered and loves eating out. It's just the respect for other diners, for ourselves, and for DS to be in an environment that's suitable for him at that hour (ie. his crib.).

Regardless of expensive restaurants, if DS gets fussy while we're out eating, or at church, or any other public place, I remove myself to calm him down and/or leave because it's what's best for everyone involved!

Totally totally agree with you. If I was sitting down to eat in Chipotle and my kid started screaming, I would get up and leave the restaurant so as not to disturb people. I decided to have this kid, the world did not make that decision for me. Why would I inflict screaming on them?

I can't say whether we'll take her sit down restaurants, or when, quite yet since I won't have her until May. I feel like unless I'm traveling or out of town somewhere with her, I don't know why I WOULD take her into a restaurant. You can get take out from just about anywhere if you want their food, and it seems less stressful to both me and everyone else to not bring her. If I really want to go out to dinner I'd think I'd want a night away and get a sitter.

That being said, if I do revise my thinking and take her to casual places I absolutely wouldn't take her to a nice place. Just-- why?

I just don't even see the point of bringing a baby to a restaurant with plates that expensive. If I'm going to spend $200 or more on a meal (for 2 people), I'm sure as heck not going to be bringing my kids there with me. If I'm bringing my kids I don't think I would spend more than $50 on the meal to be honest lol.

I believe there are places where kids just don't belong. When you decide to have children, you have to realize that your life is going to change. Part of that is not being able to go wherever you want whenever you want.

I think it should be common sense that you don't bring your baby to a 5 star restaurant, but if people can't use their brains then a ban seems appropriate.

I'm surprised children aren't already banned at a restaurant like that. Seems like it would make the restaurant even more appealing.

ETA: We only go to loud, family-friendly restaurants. If DD is fussy and having a bad day we'll get our meal to go.

I had never heard of Alinea before or prepay restaurant tickets, craziness.
We go out to eat with LO and sometimes both LOs. We've gone out to nice places with them (though nothing like Alinea) and I see other kids out pretty regularly. We're always prepared to take care of crying or misbehavior though and I haven't been disturbed by a kid in a restaurant for a long while so I think it's more an exception than rule that taking kids out = too much nonsense. I think some of it is knowing if your kid at each stage can handle that environment and being prepared to get up if not. I wouldn't want to put one of my LO temper tantrums on other people whether we're in a restaurant or not.

For a restaurant that sees itself as a sporting event with nonrefundable tickets though I wouldn't risk having to get up and down to take a baby with me.

DS is 6 and the most well behaved kid I know (biased, lol), yet I wouldn't take him to a restaurant like that. For one, I don't want to pay for a meal for him when all he ever orders is corn dogs and chicken nuggets.

If DH and I ever go to a place like that (which is highly unlikely!), it's a date night thing...not a family outing.

I'd be totally fine if a place liked that banned kids. If I'm paying anything upwards of 200$ for a good meal, I'd be pretty irritated if a kid ruined the ambiance.

We've been testing out taking G to a variety of restaurants, but we make darn sure that they are family-friendly, loud, and we spend a lot of effort keeping her happy at the meal. I want her to grow up learning how to behave, and when she's older I will take her to fancy restaurants, but a baby? Heck no. It freaked me out to take her to Outback with my family over xmas!

@plantains: The issue is, it seems like most people who take babies into restaurants don't have your rules. And it's harder to enforce a "don't let your kid be annoying" rule (subjective) rather than a "no babies" rule (objective). I get your point that YOUR baby isn't an issue-- but the jerks ruin it for everyone and I get why restaurants want to err on the side of making sure the restaurant is an enjoyable experience for everyone dining.

@Mae: maybe this is a regional thing. I have never had anybody's baby ruin my meal in NYC. I also feel like the restaurant managers here would probably encourage people to step outside if there was an issue.

I just don't believe that people's children are ruining experiences left right and centre for people all over the place, I haven't seen it. I think it is really important to emphasise that people need to take resposibilty for their kis and enforce good behaviour, and not just at restaurants either. Why should the people at Chipotle be forced to listen to a kid scream just because it is a cheaper restaurant?

Kids need to learn how to behave in restaurants and understand that screaming your head off is not acceptable in any restaurant. Or in IKEA. Or in the supermarket. Or at the mall. No. I don't think most people bring screaming babies into restaurants or to theatres or the opera. I would say that is the exception rather than the rule. If babies are banned, then I want cellphones banned too.

And obnoxious teenagers arguing with their equally obnoxious 20-something year old boyfriends. And spring breakers. And bankers out with 'the boys'. And all the fall over drunk people too.

@snowjewelz: phew, I was starting to think I was crazy hahaha!

Seriously though, maybe the timing thing is the biggest difference. Most people are not out for a romantic dinner at 6pm which is when we take her to these places.

@plantains: I agree, I don't think you're the voice of dissent. You have rules and guidelines for dining with your LO. Our DS would do fine at a 6pm dinner no matter the venue, and if he was fussy, we would also leave. I think the whole of us agree that we wouldn't stay with a crying baby at ANY resturant whether Chipotle or a high-end fancy place!

We eat dinner at the table almost every night and we have about a 30-45 min window where she plays with her food, eats, and then gets crabby because OMG IT'S BATH TIME I WANNA PLAY. Our restaurant choices will reflect that. If i want to go out to a nice dinner, I'm going to budget the extra $50 for a babysitter so I can actually enjoy it. I'm totally open to taking her when she's older--I want her to understand that she needs to behave in certain environments--but not at 8 months old. That's crazy.

It only takes a few lax parents to ruin it for the rest of them, which is incredibly frustrating. Really, they should just request they leave.

What I want to know, is did anyone at Alinea ask these parents to please step outside? I would think they also have the right to be proactive.

"@mae, totally agree. We go to an Italian place nearby and it's casual but still runs us about $40-$50. And parents let their kids run around in circles and shit. Come on!

We don't go to super expensive restaurants and wouldn't take LO to one. We mostly go to restaurants in our neighborhood & nearby--these aren't chain restaurants, but they're also not $250 pp. We wouldn't take her to a restaurant like that. That's for us. I know when we do date night I don't like it when little kids/babies are there being their cute but loud selves. Since I don't like it myself, I wouldn't do it. Most of the restaurants in our 'hood are family-friendly.

Even though I hate the term some people would call me a "foodie" (hate the term). I write a food blog focused on dining, so eating out is a big thing for me. However, now as parents, we just don't go out as much anymore. The fact is that I am just not going to take her to most places after a certain time. We just don't go out as much anymore. I would definitely not take LO to an Alinea, French Laundry, Brooklyn Fare or any other multi-course high end place. Maybe I would take her to those places for brunch, but that's it. We just got comfortable leaving her with a babysitter in the evenings a few months ago. While I hate having to pay for one all the time, it's what we have to do with no local family and to make sure we enjoy the rare evening meal out. While I love good food of all kinds at all price points, it doesn't mean that I need to take LO all places. DH and I made the choice to be parents, and we also chose the lifestyle change that goes along with it.

In the specific case of this Alinea couple, I think if the restaurant manager had quietly offered them a refund so they could come back when they didn't have a screaming baby, I bet they would have gratefully left. While I would never want to bring a baby to a restaurant like that, if the alternative was forfeiting $500, I'd take my chances bringing her, probably (after exhausting all sitter alternatives).

In general, though, we take C to restaurants where appropriate-- I prefer off times, outside seating when that's an option, places that are casual and a bit louder so her fussing won't be that obvious. We've had hits and misses, but we are always ready to take her out if necessary. Lunch is better for us than dinner, I've discovered. I think it's important that she learns how to behave in a restaurant and gets used to it from an early age, but not at the expense of other people trying to eat a meal.

I think people who bring screaming babies and don't do anything about it are by far the exception to the rule. 99% of parents probably have the common sense to know their child's limits and take them out as needed, but it's always the small minority that get the attention (probably because you can't tell that half the couples there have a baby at home with a sitter )

@BKCaribBaby: @Revel: I actually also woundn't take DD to a place like Alinea, Brooklyn Fare or Per Se no matter what time. The only reason is because I know those reservations are impossible to come by at the best of times. I nned to know that if she freaks out for whatever reason I can leave. But this isn't to do with the fanciness of the place, more to do with the exclusivity.

Every kid is however diffrenet. My nephew is 5 and I love him to death but I wouldn't even take him to McDonalds. Kid cannot sit for 2 mins to save his life.