If you have a toddler, a job and a busy life, how often are you having sex during your fertile window? I had 3 days of excellent EWCM and a "high" result on my digital OPKs, BUT my 2 year old has been skipping naps, being extremely cranky and I've been just too tired for sex. Today my reading is "peak" so I am planning on BDing tonight. Do you think that's possibly enough? Or today and tomorrow? How do you fit sex into your busy schedule? 
Poor DHs.
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To be honest, I didn't find TTC with a toddler in the house that much different from TTC#1, with the exception of time of day (definitely had more morning sex prior to having a child in the house). Looking at FF, we had pretty much the exact pattern during the months we conceived LO#1 and LO#2. Our toddler also STTN and goes to bed by 7:30 at the latest (closer to 7 when we were TTC), so we have plenty of kid-free time at night.
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We had sex fairly regularly prior to trying to get pregnant, so it wasn't some huge change, honestly. I view physical intimacy as an important component to our relationship and we try to not let our son get in the way of that (within reason).
Sex for us takes 30 minutes (max) out of our day. Our son is in his bed and asleep by 8 PM at the latest and finding time after that to be intimate has never proven to be a problem and that's even with my 9 PM bedtime. Having a second child was a priority for us and so we treated optimizing conception possibilities as a priority.
ETA: Oddly @jape14: once told me during TTC that her motto / tip was to not procrastinate about sex. For instance, if I know DH and I are going on a date night on Saturday, I tell him in the morning we are having sex during nap time because I know 100% we will end up too full and not have sex after our date. With TTC for LO2, we usually said that unless it was a weekend that we were going to have sex immediately after putting DS down.
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Wow.. you ladies make me feel bad! haha. A little context- my husband sleeps on the floor because of a severe back issue. Plus, my daughter co-sleeps with me. So, I usually go to bed with her around 7:30-8:00. However, if she takes a long nap, it can be 11:00+ when we go to bed. By that time, DH is asleep. So, we don't have sex very often. Twice a month, at best. I know.. pathetic!
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@LBee: This.
My husband and I have opposite schedules. I leave for work at 6:30 am and get home at 4 pm. He works from 2:30 pm until midnight, so he is asleep when I get up for work and I'm asleep when he gets home. We still find time to have sex and we did before we were TTC too. Sometimes this involves me going home over my lunch break, putting my 2 year old in front of the TV for 10 minutes and having a quickie, or me waking up at midnight when he gets home from work.
I'm pretty sure if I only made time for sex one day a month during "peak fertility" our marriage would be in a really bad place, but we have always been very intimate. -
It only takes ONCE lady
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@LBee: exactly this - we plan ahead - I text him so we can plan around it. And you can send some additional texts to get in the mood or even just laugh about the joy of ttc. And we go for it as soon as possible post bedtime. If bedtime doesn't really exist then just break out a movie or whatever it takes.
That said what I aim for is once in the couple days leading up, then opk+ and next day. I'm reasonably regular about o date, it varies a couple days. I could see it being harder if you had wide variation.
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Last summer I was pretty sure it was my peak day but of course it was a Tuesday so we were working then had to pick up our 2 year old. Then my sister went into labor and wanted me to come to the hospital! So after work, we gave the kiddo the iPad for a little while, threw dinner together then I ran to the hospital for the rest of the night and met my sweet niece. Our own little girl is now 3 weeks old.
So in short- try the iPad if you're too tired after bedtime!
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We do plan but it's honestly on his off days. Dh works 6p-6a. Kids are up when he's home and he sleeps during the day. Lo2 still naps but not at the same time lo1 is at preschool. Our kids are not distracted by tv enough for that!
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@CatchAFallingStar: Don't feel bad! DH and I go through periods of frequency. We had a month of illness, me travelling for work, and still conceived. It only takes once! I just don't stress out about it and wasn't really trying trying. I think though if conceiving again is a big thing right you for you two then maybe a little fore planning.
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@CatchAFallingStar: this was so hard for us and I felt ashamed to admit it. We were lucky if we made it twice during one week, even in the fertile period. I got pregnant that way though!
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deleting my response bc I don't think it was helpful
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@CatchAFallingStar: Yup it only takes once!
I got pregnant when DD1 was 16 months. Same thing here; co-sleep, busy, tired, all that. We def weren't intimate all the time, plus we weren't even TTC-ing it was just random/sporadic and bam!
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With our second baby I think we had sex once in like a 6 week span and now she's two...
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DH likes to go to bed later than me, so we eventually found that a quickie right after putting DD down for bed was the best tactic. If we waited until our bedtime, at least one of us would frequently be too tired (or already asleep!).
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If we managed once during my fertile window while ttc #2, I took it as a win. We cosleep with our now 20 month old, and have different sleep and work schedules. I was also still breastfeeding when I got pregnant again. While we would both love to have sex more, it's just hard to make time.
ETA: that one time per fertile window worked for us. I have issues staying pregnant, but not getting pregnant. We tried for our second for 6 months. During that time, I had one early miscarriage, one wonky cycle, two chemicals, and one final successful pregnancy (23 weeks now).
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@LindsayLou: This.
I have a new position as a trial attorney, and yes clients are a three hour plane ride away. So, I've been traveling a lot, and have three trials I'm prepping for right now. If we manage once in the fertile week I take it as a win. We have sex other than the fertile week as well, which is important for us to have that intimate connection beyond babymaking (not saying others don't!)
One thing my dh suggested was sex during nap time on the weekends!
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Lol we didn't. I ovulated a day earlier than normal and we had had sex once and it ended up being 5 days before O. So it only takes one
We were still avoiding for another month. I think hitting 2x in fertile window is more than sufficient and at least 1x is good too (if it is O-3 up to O).
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The RE I saw said that every other day was sufficient after your period ended. I think we did that and then an extra day or two when I got a positive OPK. Can you get your LO down for bed and then sneak out for a bit once your LO is asleep?
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@dc yoga bee: I travel a lot too. Overall I actually see the kids and dh more this way but scheduling things like sex feels crazy with our schedules.
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This is only our 2nd month trying with our nearly 2 year old but we find that early evening or naptime on weekends works the best.
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FWIW, I would never ever EVER be comfortable BDing with my kid(s) awake and watching the ipad or tv, whatever. Feels totally innappropriate to me! And to answer your question, 1x is fine, I mean maybe another time or two would be better but it definitely could still happen!
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Just to give you a little glimmer of hope that it can happen under less than ideal circumstances.. We did IVF for #1. Decided to try for #2 for 6 months before going back to our fertility doctor. Our toddler also cosleeps.. this was the 2nd month TTC- she was asleep in our bed, we went down stairs to the guest room. On my fertility monitor it was 2 bars, didn't think anything of it because it was early in my cycle. The next 2 days I had 3 bars (peak fertility) which I was surprised by since it was earlier than normal in my cycle. Even being peak days we didn't BD either of those days because I was too tired. I pretty much scrapped that month as a no try. Well here I am 26 weeks along from that random night! It really only takes once and not even on your most fertile day for it to happen.
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We aren't trying for baby number 2 yet but we have sex 2-3 times per week. We would just do it during her nap time or when she's asleep (she's in bed by 7:30). I will just make sure we have sex on the nights I think I'm ovulating but that's it.
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