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I don't think you're failing. Every child is different! DS has never been a "schedule" kid. Maybe DD2 isn't ready yet.

Honestly, we were the same way. Sleep was INSANITY at 10w. I finally got so crazy that somewhere in the middle of his 10th week, I bought a sleep training book and just DID IT. It's been amazing ever since.
Also: you could try one small method of the book but not the whole thing:
He says to feed every 2 hours from 7-7 so that at 7pm, she has gotten all her nutritional needs met and is more likely to sttn (if you try to force it). We "forced" it by using a pack instead of offering to breast feed, and very soon after, he got used to it and sttn.

I agree with @lawbee11; why cn't that nap time be bedtime? And treat every wake after that like a MOTN waking?

But you're not a failure! She's still so little, these things take time. plus you've got your hands full with your other little girl!

DS is 10.5 weeks and we have a loose routine on the days I'm home with him, which is basically to try to have ~90 minutes of awake time. And then we do bath time at 7:30, bed immediately after. At first it took a long time to get him to go down, but now it's relatively easy.

The thing I've learned with DS is that even if something doesn't work right away, it gets better if we keep consistently trying. It's a slow process, but it gets better little by little.

@Rainbow Sprinkles: Well we don't have a toddler too! And we basically don't have much of an evening any more. Dinner around 6, watch a show or two (if he's not having a crazy witching hour), bath, then I nurse and D falls asleep by 8:30. I go to bed at 9-9:30. After bath DH does dishes and walks the dog and comes up to read and go to bed.

@Rainbow Sprinkles: He's kind of all over the place. We did 3 days of daycare this week (where he napped really badly) and started getting 6 and 7 hour stretches (followed by shorter ones). But I was home with him yesterday and last night it was like he'd regressed to a month ago and his sleep was awful.

DD isn't on even close to the same kind of schedule that DS was at this age. I think it's just harder with #2.

She usually wakes up for the day when we all get up and doesn't end up falling asleep for a morning nap (there's too much going on) until we leave for our outing of the day- usually at 9:30 or 10. Then she naps in her carsear or carrier on and of until we get home from storytime, play group, shipping, etc at around 11:30. Elliot goes down for his nap at 1:15 and I put her down for a nap in her crib either right before or right after him. They usually wake up at around the same the and she'll take another catnap about an hour later, usually in the ergo while I'm making dinner.

I do bedtime on my own usually because DH is still working and I give them both a bath together at 7, wrap her up and put her in we bouncer while I put Elliot's PJs on, read him stories and out him to bed. Then I lotion her, swaddle her, nurse her and put her to bed when she's done eating (about 8:30ish). She'll either sleep until 1:30am or 3am...I can't figure out what I do differently the nights that she sleeps longer. I wish I could! She'll just nurse and go back to bed and she'll typically wake up 3 hours later.

@Rainbow Sprinkles: I really think I'm just lucky that she's a pretty easygoing baby. Elliot wasn't and I know I wouldn't have been able to do that with him either!

@Rainbow Sprinkles: Ugh that would be so hard! Will she at least sleep in a swing?