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I wouldn't say we have lots of money, but we still don't argue about it money ever. Everything is joint for us because I'm a SAHM so it makes sense that way. I think we agree on what our priorities are, so it makes it very easy for us, thank goodness!

Is there any way you can compromise? Save half and spend half?

My hubby makes more than me so we do not split bills 50/50. He pays more. So after bills are done, we save some and spend some. And we each get a bit of "play" money. This works well for us and we do not argue about money.

I am in a similar position. While his salary has always been more thn mine, it was also more unsteady. So i ised yo be te one who took care of the overhead costs like mortgages, utilities and he would take care of things like shopping , entertainment, putting away money. In the past 1.5 yrs it's become steadier where we have a predictable income stream. He makes more in a month thn I do in a whole year of busting my butt at work. He's stepped up a lot as well. Now a majority of the bills are paid by him and We save my money. We don't have any joint accounts together. Just something I don't really care for. We still have open access to each others accounts so I never felt it was that necessary.

I think it helps to have a similar philosophy when it comes to money. We didn't always have one. I'm a spender and he's more frugal. We never fight about money. Is it because it's sort of newfound fortune that your DH just wants to enjoy it a little before Getting into save mode? It's really hard to tell someone what to do with their money if they see eye to eye with it. And instead of asking him to put aside all of the extras maybe you have ask him what is a comfortable number to him and start negotiating/compromising from there?

We don't fight about money. I make more, but we developed a pretty cool system. All of our expenses come out of Mr. Jacks earnings and then I put away all the rest for savings.

We have money meetings once every two weeks on a Saturday morning and figure out how much we're going to allot ourselves for pleasure spending. Everything else is automatically deducted, so we force ourselves to save, invest for retirement, put into the 529s etc. Painless!

Before we got married, we figured out what was "fair" for me to contribute to the household bills (I earned about half what he did) and my share never went above that set amount. If the bills were less, then I paid my portion in full. And he covered many of the social expenses because he had more "play money", so that's how it all evened out.
After we got married, we decided the easiest thing was to combine everything and have designated "fun money" for each person. We each get the same amount, and if we don't spend it all, we get to carry it over to the next month. That way, I don't complain about poker nights and he doesn't complain about new shoes or Starbucks trips.
Maybe instead of splitting the bills 50/50, use a percentage based system instead that will cover all the bills and savings. For example, each of you have the following breakdown from your paychecks:
40% toward monthly bills
20% joint savings
10% for retirement savings
10% for college fund
10% for vacation savings
10% for personal discretion
You'll still have less "fun money" than he does, but he'll be contributing more to the actual bills since he makes more. Might be worth suggesting. Of course, you'll have to monitor the distribution to make sure it continues to meet the bills (if his income goes down or yours goes up).

We don't fight about money ever and I think the key reason is we both look at money the same way. It pays the bill, feeds us and if there's leftover we save and have fun. We've never been frugal with each other. Everything is completely combined. I make slightly more as of now but who cares.

I think if you're unwilling to combine then the fairest thing for both parties is 50/50. If you're saving x dollars towards your combined future then he saves x. It's not fair to ask him to save Y just because he makes more. Personally I feel if you're going to draw the line in the sand about what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours then that's the fair way to do it.

Is HE interested in completely combining finances?

I agree with mamamoose. The way hubby and I worked it out at first was contributing a percentage to a joint account. But then it got too confusing and annoying having 3 accounts between the two of us. So we just combined everything and we each have a monthly spending allowance that rolls over every month if we don't spend it all. We are allowed to spend that money however we like. I keep track of our allowance and budgets using Mint.

I think it works for us because we both have the goal of saving as much as possible with luxuries added into the mix in moderation. Your situation seems more complicated because you don't want to combine.

@TJBee: Maybe he could set aside a certain amount of cash for a play budget, and not combine just that amount?

You've got a lot of great ideas already. Here's an additional scenario: We joined all of our money and it works out well. We each take an equal amount for fun money. (Perhaps for your DH he could take out 5x the amount of fun money?) Everything else is general funds. We do monthly meetings (state of the finances) and have been in a few little squabbles when we have EXTRA MONEY (tax refunds) and then we have to decide what to do with it. His priorities (car/home improvement/college) are different than mine (travel/events/mortgage). DH makes 1/2 of what I make but excellent benefits. For us, combining finances saves us so many headaches and earns lots of points for lux hotel staycations. Even before we were engaged, I was working out a budget since I knew how much he made.

I echo Mr. Bee's suggestion about setting aside an amount that each of you have for discretionary funds that are not combined, and then combining everything else. At least, I think that's what Mr. Bee was suggesting....

We do something kind of like that. Each of our individual paychecks go in to our separate accounts. Of each paycheck, we keep only the amount needed to cover our separate student loan bills plus our predetermined "allowance." For us, that amount is usually $500/month, which we each have to spend on whatever we desire, and the other one doesn't get to comment on what we spend it on (actually, that's not entirely true... sometimes I think he spends his discretionary money on stupid stuff and I usually say so, but in the end, we both recognize that it's his decision, stupid or not!). The rest goes into our joint account to pay bills and to save up for the future, etc.

The upshot of this is that the focus is much more on what each of us reasonably needs each month, rather than how much each of us makes. We don't really adjust the budget when one of us gets a raise -- the extra money just goes to the joint account; we adjust the budget when one of us feels like our expenses are more than what our discretionary budget can pay for. It has worked great for us for the last few years and helped us to avoid conflicts stemming from criticizing each other's purchases.

@MrsBrewer: That's where we are as well, any money is our money. We've actually been that way since we began living together.
@TJBee: Is your husband saving for himself at all, or just enjoying the success right now? I'm just curious if he's a "live for the moment" guy. Obviously if you have children that would change anyway, but it would be nice to have a cushion against unforeseen stuff.
My DH is totally his mother's son and often feels guilty about spending money on himself, and as he's self employed his income can vary hugely from month to month, but he's definitely more of a saver than a spender.

We have 100% joint funds, so there are really no arguments...we have pretty similar philosophies on spending/saving, although we think about saving differently--I feel more comfortable having $$ in the bank or in low risk investments, while DH is willing to take more of a risk for a potentially higher pay out. But he also works in finance, so I almost always defer to his judgment.

But if you guys have separate finances in part, then you don't really have much of a leg to stand on, you know? As long as your joint account has enough for your bills and some emergencies, then I would just try to bite my tongue and let him enjoy it. Maybe once he blows some money on some "fun stuff" he'll get it out of his system and want to save the rest?