My SIL just got engaged last week and is planning her wedding for September 14. My EDD is August 23rd.
SIL wants me to be a bridesmaid, but I'm not sure that's a good idea at all...
Thoughts?
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For myself: no way on God's green earth.
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For me, no. I would offer to maybe do a reading or something like that.
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@CupQuakeWalk: this plus a few swear words.
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I was asked to be MOH about 4 weeks pp too. It required travel so I said I couldn't do it! Felt bad, but had to do what was best for me and DD.
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Erring on the safe side, not a good idea.
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Oh hell naw.
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@T.H.O.U.: That's a good idea. I've already offered to take her engagement pics and help design her save the date cards. I'd rather help her out before I give birth if I can lol.
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I was 34 weeks pregnant in my BFFs wedding and another bridesmaid was 6 weeks pp. It was tough for her because the baby needed to nurse constantly and it wasn't a child friendly wedding so she had to leave every two hours to nurse/pump.
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@chopsuey: This doesn't require much travel. I mean her venue is downtown around 50 minutes away, but that's it.
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@oliviaoblivia: This wedding will be child friendly, so baby will be there for sure.
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The first big logistical issue would be the day of the wedding and needing to get ready but also provide for your baby and not be exhausted. There is a reason doctors have you take 6-8 weeks off work. A full day is HARD before then.
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I would decline. At 4 weeks I was still pretty sleep deprived and it would have been difficult for me to manage taking care of LO and being present for all the happenings on the wedding day (getting ready, pictures, helping bride, etc). Not to mention it would have been difficult to feel like I was equally contributing to things like the bridal shower bachelorette party, which would likely happen near your due date.
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For me no but my friend was a BM in her sister's wedding 3 weeks after she gave birth to her second LO.
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@pui: 50 minutes is a haul with a newborn . . .
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Nope, nope and nope. And I healed fairly quickly.
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You know, there's every chance it would be fine. However, I would err on the side of "keep things as easy/drama-free as possible when dealing with a newborn". Unfortunately, there's just no way of knowing whether you'll have an "easy" baby or be a sleep deprived, hormonal wreck.
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I wouldn't. My bff asked me to be in hers a few weeks after DS was due and I declined. If nothing else, it would've been impossible for me know what size dress to order. Her wedding fell through, though, so when she really did get married 3 years later, me and DS were both in it
Eta: Also, after my episiotomy/tear with s, there was no way I'd be ok for a wedding at 4 weeks. I was still soo sore and weak.
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I could barely do basic human functions at 4 weeks PP. I wouldn't have been able to do it.
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That would be way too much (for me).
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Every newborn and recovery period are different. I gave birth two weeks past my initial due date, so keep that potential in mind. I would politely decline and attend as a guest, assuming the baby is welcome.
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It would be a no way for me.
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On the one hand, I would have been fine a month after I delivered. On the other hand, I delivered ten days late, and then my baby was in the hospital for a week. So four weeks after my due date, she'd only been home for less than two weeks. Keep that in mind, that you may well go late.
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i went to a wedding less than 2 weeks after having Olive and I was fine. if it were me.. i'd probably agree to it, but i know that's a little crazy!
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No way. At 4 weeks pp, I was a mess still and barely sleeping.
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Personally, I would rather have a smaller role in the wedding. At 4 weeks PP, I was still a wreck. While I could have taken LO to a wedding, he was an extremely colicky baby and it would have been pretty stressful to be a bridesmaid. I also had an emergency C-section, so I was still a bit tender a month out.
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@Mrs. Jump Rope: oops, sorry. Let me rephrase it for ya:
Hell to the MTHR-F'N NO! -
I'll be 4 weeks pp on Sunday. This is the first week I have been able to walk more then just down the driveway since delivery. Also the first time I could get in a car was this week. So no, I would not have been able to be in a wedding!
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Heck no.
I was 5 days late and then a total mess for 6-7 weeks. -
I wouldn't do it. I would offer to do a reading or something.
Your LO might decide to be 2 weeks late! (Hopefully not... but it is a possibility).
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I had a bridesmaid who delivered on 4-9 and my wedding was on 5-10 and she was fine. Baby was there and she just changed into a nursing friendly dress after the ceremony.
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I would have done it this pregnancy, but no way in hell withy first. Like pp, Id decline just in case. you never know how things can go.
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I would say no because there are so many what ifs. What if you are late? What if you have a preemie who needs extra care? Rough recovery? C-section recovery? BF issues? Total PP hormonal shit show? With my son, there is no way I could have done it. With my daughter I potentially could have.
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I wouldn't if declining wouldn't cause too much friction. If the baby arrives late you will still be recovering and your body will be changing so much that even the logistics of getting a dress fitted will be quite difficult. If it's going to cause a lot of drama, maybe you could agree with the understanding that your bridesmaid duties will be very limited and you'll need to bring someone to help out with the baby?
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I'd thank her but explain that it is a very unpredictable time and will be hard for us even to commit to attending the wedding. I can't imagine being responsible for bridesmaid duties in the last weeks of pregnancy (or with a premie baby in the NICU). Any reasonable person should understand.
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Heck no. There was no way I would have been up for that.
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Physically I would have been able to do it no problem. But the logistics of a baby who wants to nurse constantly would be really tough to work around. If you aren't planning on breastfeeding I would do it.
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IF the baby is perfectly on time, that would still be a big challenge. I think I would rather play it safe and offer to be a part of it in some other way, as others have suggested.
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One of my bridesmaids was 5 weeks pp. Flew up from Georgia (we're in PA). I could not believe she did it. But she did. And it was amazing and I love her so dearly for it. We didn't have a child-friendly wedding, but we allowed hand-held infants, mostly because of her and her baby. Poor girl couldn't fit into her dress at first and had to pump in the bathroom in the hotel room while we were getting portraits taken. Man, I really need to thank her again. Rock.Star.
All that to say...it CAN be done. But that's your EDD - who knows if you'll actually deliver on that date. You could be a week or 2 late! 4 weeks is one thing. 2 weeks....? I dunno. I'd probably say I'm really flattered and honored that she wants to include me, but I am afraid to commit to it and offer to do a reading or something that requires less of a time commitment from you.
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No way!!
What if baby doesn't like bottles and is early and going through the 6 week growth spurt? Pretty sure you don't want to stand up and nurse while she says I do.
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51 comments