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Completely agree. One of the (many) reasons there are so many men at the top of my profession is because they had the luxury of wives who stayed home to manage households and raise children and enable their husband's demanding hours. It's my hope now that stay at home dads are becoming more common, that might be reflected in more women in leadership.

Maybe... after the baby stage. I don't feel like my being home is much of a luxury for my husband. he comes home and i'm frazzled and only possibly showered and often things are a mess. being home with a baby all day is no joke and i still need his help, its not like I can do all the baby and home care all by myself right now. Also I think your spouse's feelings matter. My husband isn't really comfortable in the sole provider role, it is too much pressure. so for that reason alone he wouldn't feel it is a luxury.

It totally was a luxury for both of us. DH didn't have to worry about leaving work to pick up LO. DH could travel for work if necessary and not worry about impacting my schedule and I took care of all the errands during the week. Now that I've gone back to work, we have to spend weekends running errands, buying groceries, etc.

This was my dad's position when my parents got a divorce lol. He has to pay spousal support?? Who's going to pay for his house to be cleaned and his clothes to be ironed now that he doesn't have a wife at home? (he was mostly joking).

I think my husband does appreciate having me at home. We're both lucky it's a luxury we can afford. He has less to to do in evenings and weekends since I handle all the household stuff during the week. Overall both of our lives are less busy now that I stay at home. We also appreciate not having to pay for childcare.

@Mae: The early days are a different story! I agree that it's exhausting and you need all hands on deck. But since my LO is 2 now, we are definitely in a well-established groove. I also agree with you that the spouse's feelings matter. My husband and I are in total agreement on our work/family care arrangement and I think that's the only way I would want it to be. If he wasn't comfortable with it, I probably wouldn't be either.

Love this! I mean we do both make sacrifices for this to work. I end up with very little time to myself and my husband ends up with the sole responsibility to provide for us financially. If need be we could both step up in other areas but its not like we don't have our plates full.

Hmm. Well if you asked my husband he would probably say it is a luxury to have me home. But I can guarantee that the house will not always be clean, supper may not be ready and I may be in a REALLY bad mood when he walks through the door. So. Yeah. And unfortunately, when he does walk through the door, I expect him to just kind of take over the parenting duties. Maybe i'm a bad SAHM lol

I definitely consider it a luxury for both of us and for our daughter too

I love this! This is exactly how I feel and why I don't feel guilty staying at home! I know, and my husband knows, exactly how much work I do at home; taking care of LO, keeping the house clean and comfortable, making sure everyone has clean clothes and sheets and towels, making three meals a day, always being available for deliveries/repairs etc. He definitely helps because he wants to be with LO, but for the most part he can do the fun stuff with her. He's able to work as hard as he does because of my support.

@loveisstrange: I don't think my husband is resentful bc my sah happened out of necessity not desire. But I am planning to go back to work when I'm able, largely bc it will make him happy.

@JerricaBenton: Exactly.

My DH has said many times that it's great having me at home. He doesn't have to worry while at work and like the article said, we can relax on the weekends. I'm not sure we'll always have the luxury of that but for right now it benefits all of us. I think if I went back to work I would want him to stay home or at least work different shifts than me so there can always be someone home if anything comes up.

@Mae: our situation is similar. I can see how for some families, having a stay-at-home spouse is a luxury for the working partner. I have a SAHM friend in exactly that position--her original plan was to just stay home for 1 year and then go back to work, but she told her husband that he'd have to start doing daycare drop off each morning, feed their LO breakfast and help get his daycare stuff packed and then washed each night when he got home from work since she would also be working. And then he changed his mind and asked her to stay at home longer (they are trying for #2now). But she does everything for their LO, even when her husband is home, and I'm just not that type of wife and mom.

Even during my summers off, I fully expect my husband to jump right in with cleaning or cooking or whatever once he's home from work, but when I'm home he thinks I should do everything sound the house. He essentially associates SAHMs with his mom---who literally rarely leaves he house alone and serves everyone else first, and picks up their plates after they eat while they sit on the cough relaxing. She does all the cooking, laundry, cleaning. Doesn't really go places, doesn't really have friends. The home is literally her domain.

When I'm working (like now) he's so much more willing to do his share around the house.

He also likes having the financial cushion of having me work--my salary alone could definitely not support us, but we'd still have some money coming in, instead of burning through savings really quickly.

On the other hand, my summers off are a major luxury for me--I have so much more time on my hands and am way less stressed and time crunched. I see my mom friends a lot more often, I cook better meals, I get more exercise.These are things that don't really affect my husband much, but they affect my own quality of life greatly.

I would agree with this.

I was a SAHM for J's first year and if J had a sick day, it didn't really affect DH's work schedule. DH worked a lot of evenings that year, and it didn't really matter because I was always home anyway.

But now that I'm a WOHM/student and DH is WOHD - we realize for sure that was a luxury. A sick child sent home from daycare affects us both, and figuring out how to make it work when he's sick. I sure didn't feel like it at the time though, but I didn't think of it from his perspective.

The upside to me getting a degree in nursing is that I can work nights, DH works days and I'll still have time when they both get home from work/school. Opposite shifts may not be completely ideal but I think it could work for us. Plus, three 12-hours is full time for a nurse.

@Anagram: when we lived in California, my mom was a SAHM and we had Hispanic nannies and housekeepers. She was shocked I couldn't find someone for $30/day lol.....and it's really not surprising that she LOVED it hahahaha!

My dad always said this (my mom SAH). He felt like his career benefitted greatly from him not having to worry about sick days, daycare pickup, etc. Of course he still managed to make it to all of my games/practices/recitals.

I think, overall, it really is a luxury for my husband. Last night he told me that his 1 week business trip overseas (leaving in 2 days) is going to be 3 weeks long and then text me this morning to see if I can help him find some contacts and some gifts for his colleague's twin 10-yr-old girls. This is in addition to me having to go buy some groceries after dropping off our oldest at school. Despite having a live-in nanny/helper I feel like I still have to do a lot of things around the house, for example, changing out ALL of the batteries of the kids' toys b/c the humid climate here makes it leak faster. However, when he is home he does his fair share of taking care of the kids, even if often times it's prompted.

I agree that having a parent home is a luxury for both parents. I WOH but I'm part time so I have a day and a half every week to run errands and take care of home things. With hat limited time though, I do struggle with trying to be present with my daughter and do fun things with her while also getting some things done.

It's definitely a luxury that neither of us have to take time off work for routine pediatrician appointments and we don't have to do our grocery shopping on the weekends.

Unfortunately this wasn't the case for us because I was not happy being a SAHM! Some mornings I begged Wagon Sr. to stay home and some afternoons I would call him, begging him to come home early. I cried on Sunday nights. It really wasn't for me!! All three of our lives were greatly improved when I went back to work!!

It would be truly a luxury once our kids are older and in school.