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Wow, this whole situation makes me sick. To be bullied and discriminated because you are trying to do what's best for your child is infuriating. I really hope the meeting went well. Thinking of you!
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thinking about you cmomma - i hope that meeting went well, but i am admittedly worried that we haven't heard back from you yet! =/
and i can't believe we're in two-thousand-freakin-thirteen and still having to deal with this. we need a mother's movement or something, and cmomma can be our modern day rosa parks! we gotta fight for the right to pump! sheesh.
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@Mrs. High Heels: Yeah, we should totally do a pump-in at her college!!!
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@Dandelion: hahahahaa, i triple-heart that idea!
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I'm not lactating anymore but I'll whip my boobs out for a good cause!!
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I've been thinking about you today, hope everything went well!
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@Dandelion: lol! Great idea!
I hope everything is ok!
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I think our chant would be pretty catchy too...
WE
Gotta FIGHT
For our RIGHT
to PUMP!!::fist pump::
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@babyjmama: haha...you don't have to show them any milk...I don't lactate, either!
@Mrs. High Heels: we need signs!!
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Thinking about you and still hoping it went well.
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@Mrs. High Heels: haha this will be our logo! Except its we can pump! Maybe her shirt should be unbottoned??
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@babyjmama: @Dandelion: Bahahaha. I'm not lactating anymore either but I'll do whatever it takes to fight for our rights to feed our children, and for extended mat leaves!
@Mrs. High Heels: OMG love it.
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@regberadaisy: bahahhaa
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Hi ladies! Thank you so much for your support and your patience waiting for my update! I just read through all of your comments and some of them were hilarious! I love picturing all of you showing up at my work boobs out and pumps attached!!
The meeting went almost two hours but was better than I expected. I had to rush home from work to pick up and nurse my LO and then update my DH and mom by phone so I'm sorry it took so long! -
@cmomma17: I'm so happy to hear you feel good about it! Can't wait to hear details when you have the time!
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OMG i just read this entire thread and i'm SO ANGRY for you!! I'm glad the meeting went better than you thought, and hopefully the meeting with the president of the college (if that's still on) helps too! may or may not start stalking for more details
@Mrs. High Heels: @regberadaisy: love it!
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@cmomma17: oh good! I've been worried all day. Can't wait to hear the details when you get a chance.
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@cmomma17: oh I'm so relieved. I'm glad it went ok. Anxious to hear the deets!
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@cmomma17: so glad to hear it went better than expected - looking forward to the update. you rock, mama! (((hugs)))
@regberadaisy: hahaha omg it doesn't get any more perfect than that. her shirt can be unbuttoned with flanges hanging out!
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@cmomma17: wow glad to hear you feel it went well. Following along to see what the outcome is!
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Trying to keep this short ...
My boss has no issue with pumping itself and does not want to limit the time I need to do it. Her issue/concern is that my work will be affected. She offered a flex schedule as a solution. Basically I will come in fifteen minutes early each day to offset the time spent pumping. I already do this anyways, so it's not a big deal. She wants me to remain flexible and be willing to stay late to finish big projects. I told her I can only do that if she provides ,me with advance notice, as I would need to adjust my childcare situation, leave an additional bottle for LO etc. and she agreed to that.
HR made a big boo boo by suggesting I use my vacation time. That was never my boss's idea and the meeting started with the HR person correcting her (big) mistake.
I will also be allowed to pump in our office for all of July. We have an extra room that is used for exams during the school year. It is two steps from my desk. Because of this I also do not have to worry about working extra time in July (it's our slow period and the month most employees take vacation). However, starting August 1 I do need to work the extended schedule and pump elsewhere. HR has until then to find me a pumping location as close as possible to our office.
I feel a little better, but still think this situation was handled incredibly poorly. HR made some missteps and my boss should have talked to me about her concerns first.
My boss said that I told her no when asked to stay late to finish projects. This is not true. I asked her for specific examples and she could not provide them. She said she would come up with some for my evaluation, I asked when I would be evaluated and she didn't have an answer for that either. I told her and the HR person (they were both clueless) that our staff handbook states all evaluations must be completed by July 1 each year. That's Monday. This is the second year I haven't been evaluated. She is a terrible supervisor.
I emailed the president and her secretary emailed me back. She wants to meet with me but isn't available until mid August. However she wants her secretary to talk to me on Monday to get more info/see what my concerns are.
I'm trying to think if I have forgotten anything ..... -
Whew! Can't wait to read more details.
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@cmomma17: let me get this straight, you've only been back at work FOUR days and have only been pumping for 4 days. In those 4 days, your boss really asked you to stay late and you said no? When was there time for a big project to be thrown at you? I call BULL.
I'm glad they're trying to find some better pumping accommodations for you, and I hope things continue to improve for you, especially after you speak to the President.
I think they must've gotten scared after you sent them the follow up email yesterday documenting everything. Do they know you plan to meet with the president?
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Wow, I can't wait to read more details! It sounds like a productive meeting and I'm glad that your pumping issue will be resolved.
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@cmomma17: I think HR was covering for your boss, though they should have never suggested the vacation time thing out loud. The law is on your side and it sounds like your boss must have a personal problem that she's blaming on the current situation.
Moral of the story is that from here on out document every minute and keep track of all your work products. At this point you are under the microscope and you new to cross your t's and dot your I's in case she goes after you again with a different tactic.
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@cmomma17: Thanks so much for taking the time to update us. Sounds like it went better than expected and that there were several misunderstandings going on. I hope you continue to document everything and that they accommodate whatever you need to be successful both at work and with pumping, etc. Hugs.
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@Mrs. High Heels: no, she is saying I did that before I had the baby. Still untrue, and she could not provide me with an example. I have come in early, stayed late, and worked on weekends many times. She comes in late 99% of the time and makes up for it by working later in the evening. I come in early in the morning (which she doesn't see since she is not there) and leave at five. Especially at the end of my pregnancy (I worked until I was 40 weeks), I absolutely left at five! She never specifically asked me to stay late and then I said no.
When I sent that follow up email to HR I copied the director of HR, so they knew I was pretty serious. They do not know I plan to talk to the president. -
@Mrs. Jacks: I will document! I'm already going to track the hours I work each day. I will also be looking for a new job. I don't think my work environment will ever improve under this boss and now that I have a baby I just can't see being this miserable for the long term.
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@cmomma17: Wow!!! I'm so relieved that the meeting went better than expected, though it definitely sounds like the whole situation was handled fairly poorly! It's awesome that you'll be able to pump so close to your desk for July though, and hopefully they find somewhere close for when August rolls around so that you don't have to go across campus to continue to pump.
It sucks that they want you to work extended hours, but it sounds like it's just an extra 15 minutes that you were doing anyway, so that's not too bad. HOPEFULLY your boss never actually needs you to stay late, but that was good of you to point out you would need advanced notice. Hopefully if this does happen, it happens sparingly.
Good luck on Monday! Maybe having the President be aware of the situation will help!
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@cmomma17: you are a rock star. I'm glad the meeting went well, but sorry that you have to deal with all this absolute bs. Who knows, maybe this will bring about some organizational change in how they deal with these things...
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@cmomma17: ty for the update and again in so sorry ur under so much duress at work. It is baffling to me. They are incredibly lucky to have u! I work in the hr industry so if u need help in ur search please lmk!
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@cmomma17: The way you are handling this is really admirable. You go mama!
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@cmomma17: goodness what a situation! I'm amazed with how well you've handled it. You have an amazing amount of self-respect and that's inspiring. I hope the meeting with the president goes well!
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@cmomma17: You are so amazing for dealing with all this right on your return from maternity leave. It's hard enough going back to work in the best of circumstances! Well done standing up for yourself and your right to continue to feed your baby the way you want to.
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I'm glad the pumping situation seems more resolved though your boss still seems like she's being shady with her accusations. But you are handling everything incredibly well and professionally. Overall it will help women coming after you. I wish I had handled my situation with documentation and meetings instead of quietly and trying not to offend or get anyone in trouble, the way I went about it helped no one and just let people get away with BS. The way you're going about it is difficult on you and I'm sorry it sucks but you are helping other women who will come after you so kudos.
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@cmomma17: Wow. Just saw this post. Unfortunately, I would agree with ultimately looking for a new job. Fight the good fight while you're at your current job, but it sounds like the working environment is never going to be great there. Can you find another job within the university, but under a different boss.
Also, does your university have an ombudsperson? This issue (including all of the general problems with your boss) sounds like the kind of thing to take to the ombudsperson, if there is one.
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@cmomma17: So glad you had a great meeting! Sounds like you've got a good plan going. I hope it works out well for you!
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@cmomma17: You are a superwoman, for sure. Congrats on standing up for yourself and having these discussions with your boss and HR. I have worked in HR for a long time, and I agree, unfortunately this was handled rather poorly. I'm glad you are getting some answers, and that you're thinking about what will be best for you and your family in the future (i.e., another place to work, or at the least, a job with a different supervisor!)
I'd encourage you to follow up on the evaluations and other issues that you've had with your manager, with HR, or with your boss's boss if that's an option. (Is that the president? Or is that just another avenue you're taking, since the president made those claims about being family-friendly?) I'm also glad you looped in the director of HR. HR should be as much a resource for you as it is for management, and savvy HR folks find a way to support all of their clients even though at times their needs may conflict with each other.
Hang in there and rest confident in yourself and what you're doing for your child! You're awesome.
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Think about all the people you'll be helping in the future by fighting for your rights now! Pumping is so hard anyway. It's just terrible that your boss is so difficult. I hope the President listens.
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@cmomma17: thank you for updating; I'm so glad things went well! I agree with other posters that they were trying to cover their asses and knew they were in the wrong. Keep documenting ("constant vigilance!") and I hope the meeting with the president goes equally well. I hope your boss leaves you alone, but if she doesn't hopefully you can find someone to lodge a complaint against her for *her* wrong-doings (coming in late, no evaluations, not talking with you about concerns, etc).
Also, my boss did the same thing to me about me "denying" to stay late. She admitted it was hearsay (someone told her I said I wouldn't), but it was so lame.
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