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I am biased based on the pregnancy discrimination I faced. But my boss did this to me and worked really hard to set me up. He made up all sorts of things (like not calling him when I missed days, um I have cell phone records). He gave me a terrible review that year. I was able to contest it through the chain and it was so out of left field that I won without bringing up the pregnancy at all.
I did get a new job and really that is best option. Is there another place there you can go to? I started with that but the perfect job fell into my lap and now I am happier. I wish we could all fight the good fight but we can't. And with a baby at home, it isn't worth it.
You are doing the right thing.
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@Adira: she wants me to do a half hour total. So 15 minutes early and 15 minutes late, or half hour early. I really hate staying past 5 if I can help it. I am a morning person and do my best work early in the day. I just need to figure out how this affects my LO, his eating schedule, and our moms who are caring for him during the week.
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@skibobrown: I am not aware of us having an ombudsman. Would it be called anything else? I would definitely like a different position at the same university and am always checking the postings. I have a short commute, great health insurance, like helping students, and love my co workers (outside of my office). I applied and interviewed for a job with the registrar once but didn't get it.
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@tinypiglet: thanks! I love getting insight and advice from ladies in HR.
my boss's boss is the VP of our department. I haven't involved her yet. I went to her in the past when I had an issue with my boss and she wasn't incredibly helpful (they are good friends).
I will definitely follow up on the things we discussed. I also asked for a meeting in the near future to discuss my job description/work load and my boss agreed. -
@brownie: I am sorry to hear you faced discrimination and a terrible boss. I really need to work for someone else. My boss will not change and working for her has made me miserable for over a year now. My DH wants me to fight the good fight pretty hard, but you're right, with a baby at home it may not be worth it. And I shouldn't have to fight at work all the time! I should be able to put a good days work in, be treated respectfully and go home!
I really want to find a new position. Need to start working on my résumé today!
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HUGE THANKS to all the ladies who said I was awesome, amazing, strong, have self-respect, etc.! I didn't feel that way and its so nice to hear!
For whoever asked I do plan on still meeting with the president. She has three kids herself. She also implemented a paid six week parental leave policy for both moms and dads to use. If both mom and dad work for the university, mom gets 6 weeks paid, and dad gets 2 weeks paid. So I truly believe she cares about families and work life balance.
I very much plan on moving to a different job ASAP. Hopefully within the university, but if not, then their loss!
I would like the outcome of this situation to be a smoother process for future pumping moms! I'd like HR to handle their part of the process better, I'd like supervisors to be better educated, and I'd like pumping mentioned in our staff handbook! Maybe I can work to develop an information packet of some kind? I don't want anyone else to have my experience!
Thanks a million for all of the support. I could not have handled this without you all!
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@cmomma17: That sucks that they want you to work an extra 30 minutes to make up for the time that you pump. What would happen if you just said that that's impossible given your child care situation?
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@cmomma17: I'm so glad you posted about this in the beginning. I hope your meeting with the president's secretary goes well and that you are able to find another job in a different department at your university. I'm going to keep this thread in mind because I anticipate a struggle with my supervisor over my duties and pumping needs (God-willing) once I return from my maternity leave. Keep on fighting!
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@cmomma17: it took me awhile to catch up on this thread but all I have to say is- WOW. I can't believe how awful your boss is. Going back to work is hard enough without dealing with all this crap. I'm so sorry that they are being so unsupportive, but major kudos to you for sticking to your guns and not putting up with them! Until you are able to find a new job, I hope you can pump comfortably at work... And I really hope you find a new awesome, supportive job. Good luck!!
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@Adira: you know what, I don't know! That's a really good question! I don't think they could force me to work particular hours. And my boss is rarely early or on time so she wouldn't even be there to check up on me.
I think what it comes down to (for her) is "work getting done." So if I refuse to makeup the time and the work still gets done, no issue (maybe). If I refuse and the work doesn't get done - I'm fired? Or poorly evaluated? I'm not sure! -
@evansjamie: good luck and keep me posted! I really hope you're pleasantly surprised and have no issues at all!
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@Adira: I don't see how this sucks? As an employer they are paying for you to work a certain amount of hours. Either you miss those hours and you use leave or lose pay or you should have to make up the time.
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@T.H.O.U.: I think it sucks/creates a lot of pressure for a pumping mom. The longer I'm away from my LO the more milk I need to leave him. The more milk, the more pumping, etc. We worry alot about our output and meeting our LO's needs. We have family for childcare too, so it's an additional burden on them. But I definitely understand the employers perspective.
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@T.H.O.U.: I think one of the problems we have is that employers don't always value the contribution of working mothers, and therefore make it more difficult for us to continue working. We want to be able to provide the best for our families, or for many of us, that means being able to provide breast milk while we're away from our children. Although it can be time consuming to pump, I would think it would be even more time consumer for my employer to train someone to replace me!
Also, as a salaried employee, I don't believe @cmomma17 has the option to not be paid for the time she spends pumping. And if she has no vacation time (since she probably just used it all for her maternity leave), I think it's unfair that her employer try to make her work longer hours to make up for pumping. Especially since she's probably only going to be pumping for a year or so - it's not like it's forever.
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@T.H.O.U.: what sucks is that it seems to vary widely from department to department. If there was a universal, university-wide policy, sure, but it seems asinine that she's subject to the whims of her supervisor.
My employer doesn't make me "make up" pumping time but we have a pretty loose flex schedule for everyone. I'm sure if pumping was majorly affecting my productivity we'd have a conversation about it, eventually, like they did when my coworker came in at 1030 for months at a stretch.
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@Adira: yes yes yes to this whole paragraph! "I think one of the problems we have is that employers don't always value the contribution of working mothers, and therefore make it more difficult for us to continue working. We want to be able to provide the best for our families, or for many of us, that means being able to provide breast milk while we're away from our children. Although it can be time consuming to pump, I would think it would be even more time consumer for my employer to train someone to replace me!"
I am good at my job, and I do so much! They even said so themselves that they appreciate what I do more now (they covered my duties while I was out on leave). And I don't have vacation time left as I was forced to use it all to cover my leave. -
@dagret: yep! Another co worker pumped as often as she liked and was never questioned, or timed, or asked to work more hours. I'm being treated very differently because of who my supervisor is.
And I am salaried so I don't have the option of having x # of pumping hours deducted from my paycheck.
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@cmomma17: Thank you so much for updating us! I'm so glad the meeting went better than expected. Have you been able to talk to other pumping moms on campus? How is their time handled to pump? I don't think it's fair you have to come in early and leave late if other pumping moms on campus don't have to. I hope your meeting with the secretary goes good! You're so strong for sticking up for yourself!!!
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I just saw this thread and was on pins and needles reading through the pages for your updates. Kudos to you for being just amazing about it all. Arming yourself with information, and being composed during what I feel is an emotional topic. I'm all for feeding your baby however you want/can- bf, ff, whatever. With that said, i feel the issues you are facing are why so many women give up on bf'ing before they are ready. I'm sure another bee will face this as well, and read this story and feel prepared to fight for their right to feed their baby how they want. KUDOS to You!
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I'm just reading your post. I'm a SAHM so can't relate to pumping at work and wish I did b/c I also live in VA. I'm sorry you have such a horrible boss and have to deal with this just getting back to work from maternity leave one of the biggest life event of your life (having a baby!). Hopefully you can find something else (like you mentioned) within the university so you can keep your great health insurance b/c that's so important after having a baby. Also, I don't know if it's too late, but email HR and your boss with a list of things that you understood at your meeting and have HR confirm it so you do have that in writing. They probably didn't want to do anything over email for two reasons - would be inefficient use of time and also b/c they don't want it in writing b/c they screwed up! Just mention that you don't want anymore misunderstandings between you and your boss about how you should spend your time pumping and working and that's why you want confirmation that you're all on the same page. I think it's terrible of your boss and maybe one day she'll understand if or when she has kids. Please update us on how your meeting goes with the president, even if it's in mid-August. Big hugs and a high five to you for speaking out and being heard!
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@mrskc: only managed to find one pumping staff member so far. She has a private office and was able to pump freely, whenever and as often as she wanted. She made her intentions known to her boss and was never questioned about it. She pumped at work for seven months.
A staff member who is due at the end of August intends to pump at work and has been told she can whenever and however as well. That staff member also doesn't have to use her sick time to go to doctors appointments, lucky!!! -
@Adira: I agree it sucks but the employer is well within their rights assuming this is a standard process.
@cmomma17: however it doesn't sound like this is a standard process and it sounds like you are already putting in well over your required 35 hours while your boss takes long lunches and comes in late. This definitely is not fair.
Trust me I pumped at work until my daughter was a year. It was a huge sacrifice to work the full 40 hours a week plus fitting in three pumping sessions within my only hour break. It can be done though.
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@T.H.O.U.: I think if the longer day isn't feasible I will switch to what you did - breaking my lunch break into pumping sessions. I'm already used to eating lunch at my desk!
You're amazing for pumping for a year while putting in 40 hours!
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@erwoo: thanks!
I will keep everyone updated! Good idea to send another email Monday confirming everything.
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@T.H.O.U.: I think sometimes making up the time is just not possible. I have to get up at 5:00 a.m. in order to get to work by 7:30. Then I have to eat through my lunch break in order to leave work by 4:30 to get to the daycare in time to pick up Xander. I already work 9 hour days - it would be so difficult to add in another 30 minutes.
ETA: That being said, I'm actually an exempt employee, so I have to use my vacation time for some of my pumping time. I use 30 minutes of vacation every day and it sucks.
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@cmomma17: another thing I did was pump while driving to and from work. It helped get the extra ounces.
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@T.H.O.U.: I've never thought to do that (pump while driving), but that's a good idea! I just bought a power adapter for my car, so this would totally be doable! Did you find it challenging to do? Was it distracting at all? Did you ever go through a drive-thru while pumping (I stop at Dunkin Donuts every morning)?
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@Adira: haha. No I never did a drive through but I never used a formal cover either though. I would hook up (just one side usually but double is doable) and then drive. Honestly it's not much different then driving on the phone. At red lights I wouldn't pull up next to people but no one ever gave me looks. When I got to work I would unhook. Even the extra ten minutes I think really helped establish my supply and like I said get that extra ounce or so.
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@T.H.O.U.: I'm scared to try it, but I really want to now! The extra pumping session could potentially really help my supply, especially since I have a 30 minute commute! But I'm also nervous about doing it and going through the drive-thru, haha.
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@Adira: do you go through the drive through at the start or end of your drive? You could always pump before or after getting breakfast. Or maybe try on the commute home? Mornings typically produce more though.
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@T.H.O.U.: I go through at the end of my commute, so maybe I could just pump and then stop when I get there and then go through the drive-thru. And definitely the morning commute would be better for me anyway since Xander eats shortly after I get home, so I wouldn't want to pump too close to then anyway.
Sorry to thread-jack, @cmomma17! I just thought this was a great suggestion, though it probably depends on your commute and whether you can pump in the car or not.
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@Adira: I've done it twice, driven through drive-through while pumping. It wasn't awkward because they couldn't see what I was doing, but I did make sure to keep my arm up, kinda blocking everything even though I had a shirt over it. What I'd recommend is just pulling into the restaurant area, unhooking, and then going through the drive-through.
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@MaisyMay: Good idea! And I'm glad you've been able to go through successfully! I never in a million years would have thought to pump during my commute - I don't know why I never thought of it, haha.
my boss's boss is the VP of our department. I haven't involved her yet. I went to her in the past when I had an issue with my boss and she wasn't incredibly helpful (they are good friends).
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