Hellobee Boards

@TheSwissWifeStyle: would love to see a pic when you get it !!

@jaguar: Yeah...the upside is that the meds do work for ~80% or more women...just apparently not me. The side effects weren't bad, thankfully. And I guess the meds (believe it or not) are actually supposed to work better, the farther along you are...then again, I guess the actual process could be a LOT worse...

@travelgirl1: Thank you...I'm definitely working on it. BTW-- I also think it's bizarre how common this is, however also completely taboo. Someone (we?) need/s to fix that...

@TheSwissWifeStyle: I'm so very frustrated for you... Did they ever pin your RPLs on something particular? Or are they just pretty sure it's a coagulation problem?

@Crystal:

@simplyfelicity: Is there anything specific? (My post here was pretty complete, I thought, with regards to my m/c's. I go on in more self-pitying detail in My Miscarriage Rant... ) More than happy to clarify...DH and I have been married a really long time-- almost 8 years-- but only started TTC in 2011, not quite 3 years ago.

@FliegepilzHut: Thanks!

@mrs bunchy: I so hope that you have plenty of time to heal...and that your hysteroscopy gives you the answers you need. Thinking of you!

Whenever I see your posts I just have to come in and send some

@FliegepilzHut: To you and too all these wonderful ladies

@snowjewelz: Again, thanks!

So many hugs to all of you!

1. What is your story? Miscarriage in June 2011...saw the baby's heartbeat at 7 weeks...was very weak, and then nothing at 8 weeks. Had a D&C since I wasn't miscarrying naturally. Chemical pregnancy in November of 2011. Got pregnant with LO naturally in January of 2012. Repeat of our first miscarriage in September 2013 including another D&C. Most recent miscarriage 2 weeks ago.

2. How do you feel today? All over the place. One minute, I'm fine, the next I'm anxious and freaking out.

3. If you have any "next steps" what are they? Heading to a RE on Thursday. After my OB kept telling me that my miscarriages were a fluke, I finally insisted when I saw him after #4.

4. Is there something else in your life you are "investing" in? LO for sure. He is my miracle that somehow happened between my miscarriages and I thank God for him every day

@aegie: I'm so sorry. Please don't blame yourself. It could have been any number of things that were completely out of your control. Sending lots of love

@FliegepilzHut: Thank you! And I've come to terms that if S is it, he's a wonderful little guy, and I'm ok with that.

@aegie: I agree...it's so much easier to talk to people who know what it's like. My friends and family who have never been through it can say the same thing to me that someone who has been through it and it's so much more comforting coming from the person who knows what it is like.
I feel like I've even lost 2 friendships because of this. Both girls I'm extremely close to (in both of their weddings and them in mine). One is due at the same time I'd be due with mc #1 and he other just had her second. Both of them have known about Both miscarriages and I've even talked about the miscarriages around them. The conversations were morelike - well now that im not pregnant, or how nice the staff was at the local hospital. And they haven't said anything to me, like I'm sorry...how are you feeling...nothing. I know it puts them in a weird position but they have never even acknowledged that I lost both pregnancies. It has made me so sad but also really angry. I'm not quite sure how to even move forward.

@aegie: I wish you weren't feeling that way. If they weren't able to find any reason...it was with near-complete certainty nothing that you did...or didn't do. FWIW-- I made myself crazy after my first m/c, thinking "what if I killed my baby with mercury (in the fish/shellfish I ate at the beach)? It took a really long time to get over that, even after multiple doctors and nurses said, "no, that's not really possible..." I still have twinges sometimes, when I think "what if?"

@Tidybee: That's a really tough situation. Do you feel angry enough that you can't really be around them right now? Sad enough that it's too hard to be around your pregnant friend/your friend's new baby? At some point, I think you really ought to let them know that you would've really appreciated some extra support in there...and that you appreciate how hard it might've been for them to acknowledge your loss while being hopeful about their own pregnancies...even though that's not right. I hope that makes sense...

@Tidybee: I understand .... I really really do. Even when close family members try to sympathize or when close friends try to get me to open up, it's hard. Because it's a mix of emotions. There are moments when I'm numb and I don't have anything to say. There are moments when I'm completely overwhelmed with grief. There are moments when I absolutely do not want to talk about it ... and it's hard for those who love you to understand those emotions. And I can see how friendships can be lost. I've just made it clear to my friends and family that unless I bring it up ... please refrain from bringing it up. Because it's just really too hard to talk about it if I'm not willing to talk about it.

@FliegepilzHut: I know ... I know I shouldn't feel that way ... and in some strange way, I feel like until I get pregnant again and I "prove" to myself that I can have another healthy live birth, I feel consumed with fear that it will never happen again. I know it's irrational ... and I know I should be happy with my LO that's already with me ... but I'm grieving the loss of a baby PLUS the fear of not having another healthy live baby. I think the fear is more crippling.

@2PeasinaPod: Ugh. Just ugh.

@simplyfelicity: Thanks for the advice. I actually feel like my body has done it's job well with this miscarriage. I passed all tissue my first day and now it's just like a (really long) period. I'm hoping that helps my doctor feel like I'll be ready to try soon. I'll definitely wait for one real period first, though. DH and I have decided to commemorate our LO's life in a couple ways: 1. We will plant something special in our yard and 2. I will get a necklace with a baby foot on it. I think I'll also write our LO a letter and bury it when we plant the plant.

@aegie: That sounds so hard. Part of me felt from the beginning of this pregnancy that it just wasn't right. My symptoms weren't right, I didn't feel right, etc. To have seen a healthy baby growing at any point and then all of a sudden not would be very difficult. I'm so sorry.

All of these acronyms are so foreign to me. I'm really hoping it stays that way. I'm hoping this LO didn't make it because of a chromosomal abnormality or something and that all things will be okay with the next one. But I'm also preparing myself for the possibility that that might not be the case.

@2PeasinaPod: Seriously? That would be a hard friend to face after that. Grrr. I have one friend who I called who, while she has never miscarried, almost lost her older child when he was born at 29 weeks (she is also due just a few weeks before I was). She prayed with me and then pretty much repeated over and over "this sucks. This really sucks." That was so what I needed to hear. Not "you can try again." Not "well at least..." Just "I'm sorry and it sucks."

I don't have any pets, but I'll post a picture of my son soon

@jaguar: Thank you for that blog post. I love that quote. I am glad I told so many people in my life, actually. As hard as it was to tell them about the miscarriage, I'm glad the life is acknowledged. My MIL also told my husband about two miscarriages she had, which neither of us knew about. The only people I regret telling are some family friends with young children. I feel bad that the kiddos know and have to feel sad about it.

I've mostly skimmed this post, so I apologize if I don't respond to everyone right away.

I'm so sorry to hear about all the recent MCs, but I think this is a great way for people to not feel as alone

1. What is your story?
I got KU in december when DH and I were NTNP (truly. I wasn't tracing anything). We'd been married for 1.5 years and sort of practicing NFP (I didn't always chart). I MCed in late January at 8-9 weeks. It was a natural MC and not awful physically, but it took weeks to happen and that was the hardest part. By the time it actually happened, I was more relieved than upset.

2. How do you feel today?
Last week for the first time I had a full emotional breakdown around AF. DH isn't one to openly discuss his feelings, and he's focused a lot more on the future whereas I'm still a little stuck in the past (especially with our EDD coming up). I think we're in a better place now, but I can't help but be jaded and wonder if we'll ever get another BFP. Meanwhile, he's basically counting on it.

3. If you have any "next steps" what are they?
I'm planning to have a "WTF??" discussion with my OBGYN at my annual next month.

4. Is there something else in your life you are "investing" in?
Not really by choice (well, not something that I'm looking forward to). But timing wise it's worked out that we're not expecting yet because I can finish my master's degree before we have a baby. I have two classes starting in a couple weeks, and one more in the spring and then I'll be done.
We're also saving to celebrate my degree with a trip to Ireland (as long as I don't get KU in the next couple of months). But I sort of hate that that trip has become a "consolation prize" of sorts.

@Jess1483: I'm glad I can help. Hope you're doing well!

@MaryM: The emotions that come along with m/c are really complex. The only thing I can suggest is making sure you acknowledge your feelings...and how quickly they change at times. Give yourself time and don't try and force yourself to feel anything at all. And find the people you can talk to, to work through some of those more difficult feelings. Hope things get easier for you soon!

Greetings all. As happy as I am to have this group, I'm so sad that we're all here together too.

1. What is your story?
I have a wondrerful 24mo little boy (I can't believe he's 2...geez). We started trying right around when he turned 1 and have now been trying for about 12m. I've had 1 natural mc in that time, which was 5w ago. That pregnancy started with spotting at 5w, which my midwife wouldn't see me for other than to give me a Rhogam shot, and ended at 7w with an ultrasound telling us that things wouldn't be progressing.

2. How do you feel today? On and off. I have a close friend who has the same EDD that I would have and our sons are good friends. It's heartbreaking (and wonderful too) to see her progress every week and announce to all of our friends.
I'm also just SO anxious. I can't help telling myself that getting pregnant again will take another year and could end badly again. It's just such an up/down road (which I know most of you know more than I do).

3. If you have any "next steps" what are they?
I'm meeting with a new Dr for fertility tomorrow. I'm nervous that he'll say the same things to me that the midwife did, but I'm trying to stay positive. I really feel like progesterone levels could be at play (as I'm still nursing my son) but I'm worried they won't feel the situation warrents testing it. Again...anxious.

4. Is there something else in your life you are "investing" in?
My son, always. And more recently, my marriage. DH and I are in counseling in hopes of repairing things that sometimes both of us think might lead to the end of our marriage.