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@FliegepilzHut: Oh, I have found buddies that I don't know what I would do without! I just feel sometimes like DH and I are on totally different pages.
We're in a good place now after my meltdown though. He's been really sweet this past week.
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@MaryM: I'm glad.
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@MaryM: Know that it's ok not to be excited for others...at least not right away. I found that it was easier to hear the news over the phone, through email or text so that I could process my own feelings in my own time and still act excited for them.
As I've had more miscarriages, I find that it's easier to talk about with others. At this point, I'm tired of people asking me when I'm going to give LO a sibling, so I usually let them know that I've had multiple losses and it's not helpful to ask. I don't mean to make people feel badly about what they're saying, but I don't want them to think it's ok to keep pressuring me. I put enough pressure on myself.
@Jess1483: It's exactly this - I feel like the people who have also had a miscarriage know exactly what to say, and it's so helpful. I recently confided in a coworker who told me his wife also had a few and how hard it is to see someone you love go through a pain that you can't help with. Helped me to see DH's side too.
@travelgirl1: Thank you...I'll certainly keep everyone posted on how it goes
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@Keppa: I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss...it must be really difficult to have someone that close to you due at the same time you would've been. I really hope your appointment helps shed some light for you and you are able to conceive faster this time, once you are ready.
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I am going to catch up on everything later once I have a chance to focus but I just wanted to vent that today sucks. I couldn't sleep last night and have very little appetite. Today was my first day of work (teacher here) and my brain feels like it is in a fog. It's hard to focus which makes it difficult to be confident in front of a class of seventh graders. I just want to go home and cry. I feel so empty.
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@simplyfelicity: I'm sorry.
I hope you're better rested and feel better overall tomorrow...or the day after. Just take it a day at a time. Do you think DH would be willing to take you out for dinner to "celebrate"-- first day back at school is going to be my excuse when my DH gets home. -
@FliegepilzHut: Thanks.
That's a good idea. DH did just start his new teaching job today. What do you teach? Now that I actually have expectations put on me and need to work, it's hard to function. I am thinking about going back onto Zoloft. I got off to TTC and now I need it the most. Not sure about it and future TTC but I don't even know what our plan is about that.
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@simplyfelicity: Actually, it's DH that's the teacher. High School World History. Zoloft might be a good idea...but I would make sure you touch base with your prescribing doctor before restarting. Sometimes the first couple of weeks can be a little rough (coming off is also rough, I've heard) and you want to make sure he/she can offer you extra support and monitoring, should you need it.
Hope your week gets easier... And congrats to your DH on a new teaching job! Are you both at the same school?
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@FliegepilzHut: Actually, I teach where he went to junior high and he teaches where I went to junior high. I will give the while Zoloft thing a while before I do anything. It's just so hard to function with this depression.
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@simplyfelicity: That's pretty cool! I understand completely. All I meant to say (and you probably know this, you've taken it before) is that sometimes people feel a bit more anxious or unsettled before the more positive anti-depressant effects kick in. Wishing you lots of
and sending !
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@FliegepilzHut: I completely understand. SSRIs can be pretty wonky at first. Thanks for all the help and for "lending an ear."
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@simplyfelicity: If you and DH go out tonight, what will you eat? I'm thinking maybe sushi/Japanese...or pizza.
ETA: Of course! Any time.
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@FliegepilzHut: I was thinking sushi, too!
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@simplyfelicity: Mmmm...sushi.
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Ok really... No bleeding all day.. Then- BAM ! Tons and tons of bright red! What is the deal?
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@mrs bunchy: Can't say that I know...if it's *very* heavy, you should probably get checked out.
Post-D+C/post-m/c bleeding is so weird. I can just say that I'm happy today to have some light but bright red flow...and a bit less cramping. Huzzah!
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@aegie: Oh, hon. I can't even imagine how challenging that would have been - to have no reason, that is hard beyond words. Sending you lots of love. x
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@2PeasinaPod: Oh lovely lady. I am so sad for your losses, the most recent one especially. Big hugs from across the miles. Snuggle your wee man. x
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@Tidybee: I totally understand this. My SIL and Bro announced to us when we were 6 weeks along that SURPRISE! They had an oops pregnancy, had no idea how far along they were. We were thrilled for them {just slightly envious that they got pregnant so easily when we have to use IVF} - and even more so when their dating scan showed them due 3-5 days behind us. Pregnancy buddies! Of course, we lost our little one at 11 weeks - so my SIL is now still pregnant, and due when we would have been. It's so bittersweet. I'm finding it so much harder to deal than I thought.
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@Keppa: I'm so sorry for your recent loss. *hugs*
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@simplyfelicity: I'm so sorry, today must have been hard. I'm still at home with my daughter, so it makes it easier to have bad days here. (Though I sometimes feel so guilty that she has to see me so very sad.) Sending you strength.
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@jaguar: My SIL did the exact same thing! She never got her cycles back after her daughter (now 13 months) so didn't even think it was possible. We were due about the same time (but she doesn't have a good sense for how far along she is yet). She's being really sweet about it, and I had to tell her today it's okay to talk about her pregnancy with me. It's hard, but I'm still excited to be an aunt again!
As for me/today, we got back from vacation, so there's the post-vacation let-down, and also, it's my birthday, and I don't much feel like celebrating anything. I am, however, drinking lots of wine. LOTS of wine.
I called my doc today to cancel my ultrasound for tomorrow and to schedule a follow-up. My doc is booked until mid-October, so they asked if I'd see the nurse-midwife. I said I'd already talked to her and really wanted to talk to my doctor, so they squeezed me in for September 8. A bit later than usual, but so far everything's been fine with the actual miscarriage, so that's fine with me.
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@simplyfelicity: I'm sorry you had such a rough day. Starting a new school year can be so hard anyway, and I can't imagine doing it now (I taught 2nd grade for a couple of years in Chicago).
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@mrs bunchy: Mine keeps doing that today! Goes brown, then GUSH, and we start all over again.
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@Jess1483: I'm trying so hard to focus on being thrilled about becoming an aunty for the first time - but I just feel so cross that this whole thing is so rubbish now.
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@jaguar: Don't get me wrong...I'm bitter as hell about it, too. Part of it is just that SIL and I weren't really close until she became pregnant and we would talk about that/we talk about our kiddos now. I don't want to lose that relationship just because she is pregnant and I'm not. And it's so situation-specific. I can't imagine having worked as hard as you have had to to become pregnant and then lose the pregnancy, and THEN have SIL announce a surprise pregnancy. One advantage (if you can call it that), I have in this situation is that I don't have difficulty conceiving.
Give yourself PLENTY of time to be bitter, for sure. I'm so, so sorry.
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@jaguar: That must be incredibly hard. You're very brave...and completely entitled to feel crummy about the situation at times. Sending hugs your way!
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@Jess1483: I hope that your relationship with with your SIL isn't too tough going forward. BTW: that necklace you posted is lovely!
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@mrs bunchy: I also think you should at least call the doc. How long ago was your D&C?
@jaguar: That is tough to have those reminders from now til March. DH's closest work partner is due the exact same day as I was. I know it bothers him...especially now as she starts to show and announce. She knows about the miscarriage and has been really kind. But I know that's gotta hurt for you. -
@simplyfelicity: well, today is done. I hope you treat yourself well tonight. Chalk today up to being a tough day, and that it is possible for tomorrow to be a good day despite the miscarriage. I let myself be really sad but know I have to keep going on and each day is one step closer to being pregnant again (I hope) and one step further from the sharp pain of the miscarriage.
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@Tidybee: Thanks and you are right. I shouldn't limit tomorrow based on how I feel today. Feelings are fleeting.
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@TheSwissWifeStyle: I can't believe everything you have been through. It sounds like things are moving in a really positive direction. I hope you will keep us updated.
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@LalaLove: Wow, I cannot believe the journey you have been through. I am glad you have your daughter to give you joy.
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I kind of wish I'd de-activated my facebook account today. I'm getting a ton of "happy birthday--hope you're having a great day" messages and I want to respond "Actually, I'm having a shitty day, but thanks very much." Instead, I'm ignoring.
I'll be glad when today is over. -
@simplyfelicity: I'm sorry you're having such a bad day
@Jess1483: I did deactivate for a few weeks, it seriously saved my sanity!
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@jaguar: this is crazy, but my SIL and bro just announced as well...and she's due a whole 2 days before I would have been with this last. I'm really happy for them, but it certainly does sting quite a bit as well...
Lots of love to you all. Here's to tomorrow being a bit of a better day!
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@2PeasinaPod: I totally second that!
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@Jess1483: Thank you, I just need to get my crap together.
Well, I still want to wish you well. I am so sorry this is happening on your birthday and I won't wish you a "happy" one because that may be unrealistic but one with peace, rest and love. I also hope that, at this time next year, you will be blessed beyond measure. "Happy" birthday, lady.
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@travelgirl1: Thank you, you all have really helped me in this funky day. I guess the grieving process can be really unpredictable.
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@mrs bunchy: Thank you! Her name is Ellie and her nickname is Eleanor. Don't ask me why this made sense to me! Ellie isn't crazy friendly either but a year and a half ago, she ran away (was stolen) for a month and, while she was gone, I got Lucy. Ellie was returned to me two days after getting Lucy. They are now like sisters and LOVE each other. They are cuddle bugs.
I hope you're better rested and feel better overall tomorrow...or the day after. Just take it a day at a time. Do you think DH would be willing to take you out for dinner to "celebrate"-- first day back at school is going to be my excuse when my DH gets home. 
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