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I read alot of studies on risk vs. benefit & outcomes of pretty much every common birth practice whether natural or medical method. From there I was able to decide what I wanted, what I would accept, & how/when I would accept it.

So, basically, you read up. You learn about the pros and cons, you read birth stories and find ones that you like and ones that you don't. You maybe watch videos of different kinds of births and talk to your friends and family about the experiences they have.

And then you know exactly what you want, and you write a birth plan and work to have the best shot at getting it. And 'what you want' might be 'get the baby out safely' or 'a waterbirth at home' or 'a perfect pain free epidural birth' or 'a hypnobirth' or even 'a scheduled csection for medical reasons'. It can be 'whatever my doctor/midwife thinks is safest and easist'. You don't have to go into labor with a plan for exactly what to do to proceed. You can certainly do that, or you can just decide to go with the flow and let people you trust lead you. All of these options are awesome.

I honestly ddint write one and kind of went into it blind. Only thing I wanted to avoid was csect.

I ended gettimg a morphine drip before epidural.

Now that I know better if we're blessed with #2 in the future id loke to labor longer at home, get an iv/epi as late into labor as possible (or else attempt natural).

@shopaholic: Honestly, unless there is something you feel really strongly about... Is the birth plan really necessary?

@Arden: I agree with you too. I had strong preferences and didn't do a birth plan though. My midwife had treated me throughout my pregnancy, she knew what I wanted... the whole process was just totally unnecessary for me. I think that if it's not something you feel is absolutely essential, then it's just another thing to stress out about when you dont need to.

@katiew92081: Yeah, I live in the UK and they are much more "natural friendly" than the US.

@shopaholic: Maybe just do some research and decide what it is that you want and maybe have a discussion with your SO/birth partner so that they know what your wishes are and can advocate for you if you are in a position where you can't do it for yourself.

i didnt do a lot of research on my own, but i found the classes at the hospital covered all my options and from there i figured out what i wanted to do, although i never wrote an official plan....and of course it all went to hell because i ended up getting a c section which was the one thing i truly did not want!

I suggest just being informed on what your options are, but dont make any hard decisions til you're there. You never know what your experience will be like, or what you will need to get through it!

I don't think it's necessary to have a birth plan unless there are aspects of labor and delivery that you feel very strongly about. Even then, if it's only one or two things, you can just let them be known--you don't have to write it down. My SIL had an extensive birth plan and freaked the eff out when things weren't going according to her plan. Labor is unpredictable, so sometimes a birth plan may cause more stress than good. Here is my birth plan: healthy baby, healthy mommy.

Are you planning on taking any prenatal classes? We took one this past weekend that was recommended by my midwife and run by a doula/LC with 15+ years experience and five children of her own. It had a definite bias toward unmedicated birth (which is what we wanted), but it did discuss all the routine interventions and their advantages/disadvantages in a fair and balanced way. I have researched birth a LOT and read everything I can get my hands on, but still found it incredibly helpful to get all the information in one place.

The class also gave us the opportunity to practice different pain relief techniques with our partners. I found the hands-on time was really helpful in understanding which of those techniques I preferred and might find helpful during labour.

One of the exercises we did involved a set of 40+ cards covering almost every aspect of birth and possible interventions. Each card had a birth preference written on each side. For example, a card might say "Epidural" on one side and "No epidural" on the other, or "Midwife" on one side and "OB" on the other. We were then to lay out all the cards with the side that we would prefer facing up. Then we were told to remove seven cards, then another seven etc. until we were left with only six cards. The six cards we were left with were meant to help us understand what our biggest priorities were for our birth, and to act a reminder that birth is unpredictable and really can't be planned. Sorry for the long description, but I found it to be a really helpful exercise in terms of organizing our priorities and remembering that most of it will be out of our control.

And, I completely recommend taking a prenatal class if you have the time, as it will definitely help clarify things and help you understand what pain management techniques/comfort measures might best resonate with you.

@rachiecakes: Sounds like we're on the same page! I think my final six priorities were (1) Hospital birth (2) Vaginal birth (3) Breastfeeding (4) Care provider I trust (5) Allowed to have any/all support I want in the room (6) Healthy baby!

I didn't have a birth plan. I just made it clear that I wanted an open line of communication with the nurses at all times because I had no idea what I would want once I was in the situation.

The second time I also did not have a birth plan, but I let the nurses know that I wanted to labor as long as possible before getting pain management (I was induced with pitocin and broken waters). Because of the complications I had with my first epidural experience, I was in very close contact with the anesthesiologists and was able to get my epidural in within 10 mins of asking (literally, I asked, they came in and prepped me, and the epidural was in and starting to take effect within 10 minutes!). What ended up happening is a different story!

I didn't want anything written or prepared because I know myself, and if I prepared something and it was disregarded in any way by the nurses and doctors I would have gotten very upset! So instead we talked a lot. I liked the route we decided to take. No one ever pushed me into interventions and because we were constantly talking with the nurses, we never felt pressured to do anything that we didn't want to do.

Yes, FOR SURE keep it short. Unsupportive providers just won't read it, and supportive providers will, but it'll be time out from caring for you. As my midwife put it, she'd happily read a five page birth plan, but that was 20 less minutes for her to be at your bedside, talking to you. She suggested trying to limit it to a page, bullet points.

I know that my hospital's midwife service already did a lot of things I would have otherwise asked for, like delayed cord clamping, skin to skin, etc. I was able to leave a lot out knowing that it was the default. I'd advise finding out what is standard at your practice, and only listing the things that really differ.

I would really suggest having one, though, as you can't be certain you'll get your preferred midwife/doctor at go time, even if they usually do all their own births.

I think it's also important to let your DH in on your birth plan so that in the moment, they can relay what you want/don't want if you're in the middle of a painful contraction.

Also just be prepared that not everything goes as planned while giving birth, so you should have things that you absolutely will not budge on (specific medications you don't want), vs. things that may be medically necessary (C-section b/c the baby is at risk). I went in with a pretty open mind, and everything went wrong with our delivery. I ended up with a C-section which was the last thing I wanted, but it was absolutely necessary for the sake of my LO.