I'm currently pregnant and this LO is due just a few days after DS2's 3rd birthday. I'd like for him to have a birthday party still and my gut says I should schedule it for like a month before his actual birthday. But I started second guessing myself and wondering if a month or so after his birthday would be better? A month before and I possibly risk having everything ruined by an early arrival. A month after I definitely have the stress of having a newborn, but there's not risk of missing it entirely. Also his birthday is in April, so a party in March would likely be cold and need to be at a venue, a party in May, we could probably do a park. Another consideration is that his school transitions you to a new class right around your birthday so a March party would include his current classmates, whereas I'm not sure who I'd include in May...it'd probably depend on when he actually moves up 
So, with all that - what would you do?
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I think this depends on how late your practice will let you go. My second was a week late and no way at 3 weeks pp would I have been ready to host a party.
Can you just do a small family party this year and skip the big bash? That's what I would do to mitigate stress. And then would do it late i think -
Honestly, I'd skip it. At 3 I would just invite family over or even just do something special with him pre-baby, like the movie theater or a special outing. I feel like one month difference either way is huge., just make his actual day as special as you can.
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Do you have a history of early labor/delivery? Just curious if this is informing your options.
I voted to do it early, since that would allow you to include your LO's current classmates. At this age I don't remember how much expectation there is for birthdays but I think having something special for him, before there is a sibling in the mix, will be nice.
For context, my older DD had her birthday about 3 weeks before DD2's due date last year. She's a lot older (was turning 6) but I was really really happy we were able to have her party before LO came so that she could have her celebration be totally about her (and not have the new baby siphoning attention). -
I would skip it also, we did this actually, my son was born 11 days before my daughter turned 3. We had the neighbor kid over for pizza and cake on her actual bday and it was great. I think they don’t care too much about friends at that age really, they just want to be special! So like above any special outing or celebration will be great. That said we haven’t had big parties before 5 so I know I’m biased. For my son’s 4th bday we met his 2 cousins at Chuck E Cheese and it was so great. I still booked it as a party (price turned it about the same) so he got all the special recognition, his own table, etc but was logistically easy and didn’t break the bank. Three might be a little young to really love that though.
That said if you want a party I’d definitely choose before. Better turnout if you know the friends and as much as you may be cranky/tired by then, fewer unknowns with the baby. It’s always so complicated to get anything done with newborn feeding!
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@MamaBear87: @josina: @lindseykaye: Thanks for the replies ladies. To answer your questions:
My first was born on his due date and 2nd was a c-section a few days before his due date, so no history of early labor. Since I had a c-section before, I'll probably schedule a repeat at 39 weeks (a few days before DS2's birthday) so I don't think I risk going late.
If I make it to a c-section date I would likely be going home the day before DS2's actual birthday. In my mind, this is the most likely outcome and so it makes me nervous to plan on trying to make his actual day particularly special. We also had decided many moons ago that odd years would be party years and even years would be small family celebrations so I think it's important to honor that.
@lindseykaye: That's a really good point about baby siphoning attention if it's after... and giving DS something that's just for him before the chaos of baby.
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I’d rather host a party super pregnant than a few weeks postpartum. DS3 was due 2 weeks after DS1’s 4th bday. I still had his party close to his bday but we hosted it at our house with just grandparents and a couple close friends. I had it catered and ordered a cake. I figured if I went into labor early and was in the hospital that the grandparents could still have a little bash with him at our house. I’d skip a big party if I were you!
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@bhbee: I should mention that our "big parties" have all been pretty tame. In fact, I think all of them have been just renting a shelter at a park, getting some catering, and a few balloons and streamers. And now that I type it out, I'm remembering there's a cool indoor playground that we could rent that would have a similar laid back vibe but be suitable for March....
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@JennyPenny: that sounds perfect! We had an indoor play place party (I have 2 January bdays) and it was so great - the kids took care of themselves!
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If you’re thinking you’ll likely have a scheduled c section then I’d plan it for two weeks before his birthday - that way it’s not SO early.
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I'd really consider skipping party too in lieu of just doing something really special before baby arrives. But if I MUST choose, I'd choose before.
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I'm due a few weeks before LOs second birthday. which is in January. We're skipping a friends party, it would have to be indoors and I don't want a bunch of germy toddlers around a newborn during flu season, early wouldn't work b/c of the holidays. But if a choice between the two, I would definitely do early. There's so much to worry about already with a newborn, and I'd worry a toddler could still be in the throes a few weeks later of adjusting to the new sibling and a party on top of that could be overwhelming for them too...
I feel a bit guilty - LO had the flu with 105 degree fever and an allergic reaction to tamiflu on his first birthday, it's the most miserable I've ever seen him. The flu seemed to weaken his immune system and he was sick several weeks straight immediately after the flu, then DH was away on an international business trip and sick, so there was virtually no first birthday celebration to speak of. I do want to make his second birthday special, and hope I'm not too overwhelmed with the newborn to swing something low key but super fun with family...
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I also vote skipping a big party and just doing something small with family.
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@JennyPenny: if your kiddo was going to be 5 I would absolutely suck it up for a family tradition. At 3 they don't really get it. I'd just do something small, get a fancy cake and a bunch of balloons.
Your son will be jazzed and you won't have the stress of a party super pregnant. I know with my second there's no way I could have done at party at 36ish weeks but hopefully your pregnancy will allow it -
Ha our youngest was born early September and we skipped our older sons 4th birthday in early November! Meaning, we didn’t have a kids party, just invited the grandparents over for pizza and cake. We decorated the house and blew up balloons and he loved it. We were so so so exhausted, I can’t imagine hosting a regular kids party a month after with a newborn. For his 5th party this year we did the whole thing at a gym with kids from school and all good. They don’t remember these things!
I would vote for before from your options, but I really would say skip it. If you have family that could watch the baby, you could even take him out for something special on his day.
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@MamaBear87: @muffinsmuffins: Not trying to threadjack, but you all are making me feel so much better about my LO's birthday a few weeks after his sister is due. So true - I'm going to put DH in charge of balloons, which I think he'll love, and order pizza (his favorite food) and some sugary treat, and I'm pretty sure my toddler will be in heaven
Such a contrast I'm sure to when they are tweens and nothing mom does is good enough!
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@periwinklebee: no shame in that! Your kid will think it's the best thing ever
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@periwinklebee: omg basically blow up 20 balloons and he will be in heaven! I think I asked him what he wanted and he said hot dogs and cupcakes so that’s what we had! Do not feel guilty at all, it’s a fun memory!
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Since it’s a 3 year old party, I would just do family after the baby arrives. My older two girls have birthdays a week apart. We celebrated my ODD’s 3rd birthday about two weeks after her sister was born, but it was super simple because it was just family, we ordered pizza and a cake, and it was low key. She liked having a celebration focusing on her.
I definitely wouldn’t have been up for hosting a big friends/family party at that point.
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My second child turned three ten days before his sister arrived and we just did a low key afternoon tea party the weekend before his birthday. Just a few friends, cake and finger food and two party games - he was perfectly happy!
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Off topic but I’m amazed how many of us have kids with very close bdays!
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@muffinsmuffins: you make me feel so much better!
@bhbee: yeah, in some cases I know people want and plan for their kids to be born at a specific time of year, but also know a lot of us don't have that kind of fertility and it's just how it worked out! Good for seasonally appropriate hand-me-downs!
Such a contrast I'm sure to when they are tweens and nothing mom does is good enough!
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