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@irene: it was definitely crowded!!! I think there were like six kids my daughters age (3) but we are still in the stage where parents stay and little siblings come- there were like 25 people and it was TIGHT.
What is your son interested in? I did theme parties when I was younger- like come dressed as your favorite book character. Then my mom had us make little peg doll characters from books.

We've had home birthday parties, but I wouldn't call them Pinterest-worthy. I bake a cake, prepare food, put up a few decorations (really, like, a birthday banner, and a few balloons). We only invite close family and very close friends, and since there are only a few kids, they don't really need games or anything special. I'll buy sidewalk chalk and bubbles in case it's nice to play outside (March birthday). They just play, have fun, we sing happy birthday and eat cake and ice cream. And my DD has been very happy with that (she's 5). She's been to big expensive birthday parties, but she has seemed totally fine with just having something simple at home for her own birthday. I put most of the effort into baking and cooking (and cleaning my house!) but it's not very expensive or stressful.

We've done all our parties at home, lots of tasty but basic food (quiche, sandwiches, chips and dips, fruit, crudités, cheerio sausages, cupcakes and birthday cake), minimal games, no theme and just twenty kids ripping around and playing!

To be honest, the kids don't seem to care if there's no theme or elaborate setup and they're just as happy playing in a different yard with different toys so they don't miss the games either!

Sounds good and fun! When we were young my mom always did cupcake decorating as an activity. So fun. Don't worry about house cleanliness! Kids will mess it up in no time anyway, lol.

I've only ever done home birthday parties - DD1 is 4, and DD2 just turned 1. I always have the same guest list, which is immediate family and close friends - 25 adults and 15 kids. Hubby will either grill meat (lamb chops, pork rib, sausages etc) and I will do a buffet table with salads and sides. DD2's 1st birthday was a few weeks ago, and I did a gyros bbq and buffet, and bought a birthday cake from the cheesecake shop. I hired a face painter for an hour which was $110 and she kept the kids super entertained. Decorated the yard with some old bunting and helium balloons, pulled out bikes and scooters, trampoline and climber and kids played in the cubby house.

The day was great, lots of help from other adults in getting things ready, the kids ran wild and loved it. the clean up the next day was a pain in the butt, but I did use high quality plastic recyclable plates so the only washing was platters. had to sweep and mop floors and wipe down surfaces but it was fine.

you can totally do it!!

@FannyMae: That makes me want to have a home party again!!

I'll share the home birthday my parents gave me at 5. They rented kids size table and chairs and served hot dogs for lunch. There was a magician show and he did a rabbit trick. The rest of the time all of us kids chased each other in the backyard. Looking back at pictures my parents put up maybe two-three balloons and the only place where my name was was on the cake. It was the most fun ever until my 8th birthday.

@irene: your party plan sounds super fun

That first hour when you are face painting the kids could be when you have a super low key craft their parents can help with. At an art event a few months ago one non-messy project the kids did was make pipe cleaner jewelry. All you need are beads and pipe cleaners. My little cousins took forever deciding on their bead choices.

Another idea could be pre cutting their initials on heavy weight paper and give them stamps and stickers to decorate. Both of these projects may be less intimidating for the parents to help with, which gives you some breathing room as host.

We always do home parties. For their first birthday parties I went all out with decorations and having a theme, but I didn't do that for any of the others. In the past for food I've served mini sandwiches, chips, crackers and cheese, veggies, fruit, chocolates, plus cupcakes. I've also done brunch food with mini sandwiches, chips, bagels and cream cheese, sausages, mini waffles, fruit, plus cupcakes. One year I just laid out all the toppings so people could make their own sandwiches, which people seemed to like. And this last party, I just ordered pizza, which was a HUGE hit! Everyone likes pizza! Just double-check on any food allergies/intolerances before you do the pizza - we had a special vegan one for Xander.

And I've never had planned activities. We just let the kids play with the boys toys and they seem to have a blast. Parties usually last around 2-3 hours for us with eating, opening gifts, cupcakes, and then just hanging out. It's pretty easy! The hardest part is the cleaning before/after, but my mom comes over the day before and helps me clean.

Oh, you're brave, I wouldn't do free play with 5 year olds. I would do a structured activity, if it's warm enough outside, could you do an obstacle course or something like that? If you leave them to their own devices, there is bound to be some territory issue that crops up and a bunch of kids around your kid's toys might cause issues for him.

DD's 1st birthday party was at home (well, my parents house) and it was fine; but both my girls will have winter birthdays. When they get older with friends, I don't foresee having much for them to do at a home parry (I am not crafty, terrible at DIY, haha) so most likely it won't happen beyond the first few birthdays.

Great ideas!

A few thoughts.

1. Face painting. Have a system to put kids in number order so they dont all have to stand there waiting in a line. Also, if youre doing the face painting, will someone be available to welcome guests, help them find drinks, put away coats, introductions etc. I would plan maybe 30 minutes of just welcome time and free play for the kids with legos and then start the face paints.

2. Ham and cheese skewers. I always worry about pointy things! Or things that can become "swords" Ive seen other parties do a pretzel stick stuck into a cheese cube. No mess and nothing pointy.

Having just extra coloring sheets on hand with crayons and a small kids table can be lots of fun!

@irene: I voted no and not planning too.
While I love the pinterest ideas, I think its so much easier and less stressful to have it outside the home. We are in the process of buying a new home and the thought of 5 year olds running around making a mess is not my ideal day. I would only do it if I could have all the messiest parts of the party outside.
Having said that DD has been invited to some really fun home parties.

@irene: Just double-checking - you know all these kids and whether they have any food allergies or not, right? I noticed your lists of food all had common allergens:

"peanut butter jelly sandwiches, ham and cheese skewers, and fruit cups. I'll bake mini muffins. I am debating if we even need a cake. If it gets stressful maybe I'll just give them yogurt, goldfish, fruit and cheese sticks"

We just had a party at our house for DS who turned 2. 5 of his friends came but when you add in the parents and siblings, you end up with almost 25 people. We had 3 kids who were 5 and they were going crazy around our house.

At this age, kids just like to run around and do free play. I'm a little worried that you will be really disappointed if the activities don't go the way you planned. I once thought that a craft of decorating jewelry boxes would be 30 minutes and it ended up being 10 minutes tops!

Our house is usually a disaster after 10+ kids are over and i just try to turn a blind eye during their stay because i'll stress out unnecessarily and i want the kids to enjoy coming over! I don't mean to offend you but i would highly recommend against a rule sheet - it pretty much goes against what a birthday party is about.

If you don't think you'll be able to go with the flow, i would rethink having a party at your house. I think pinterest parties are great for photos but what's most important is that your son and friends have a great time.

We do a home party for my daughter's 3rd birthday. About 60 people were there and we had it in our back yard. It was not a budget party or a Pinterest party. We had:

A purchased cake and ice cream.
I made all the food; mac and cheese, baked ziti, meatballs, garlic bread, and salad.
I rented 3 tables with chairs. I bought pretty table clothes and flower arrangements plus we had electronic candles on all the tables.
We hired Cinderella and Jake the Pirate to provide entertainment including face painting, story time, and parachute games.
We set up our outdoor toys and chalk in the driveway and turned on the bubble maker.
We also hired a photographer.

It was simple and low key but a lot of fun. We spent about $1200.

We did home parties for my daughter's 1st, 2nd and 3rd birthdays. We had 35-55 people at each one. For her birthdays 1 & 3, we ordered Chinese food from a local restaurant and served a full lunch buffet style, and also supplemented with Costco snacks and appies. It was around $200 for all the food. For her 2nd birthday, due to her nap schedule at the time, we did a late afternoon birthday with snacks only. I bought a bunch of things from Costco and it was very stressful trying to get everything ready and served.

The house was a giant mess after everyone left, but it was a lot of fun and we only do it once a year. We had kids anywhere from 0-6 at each birthday, and a 3-4 older tween kids.

If a messy house stresses you out, you might want to consider an outside the home party.

We've only ever done them. This last one (the twins are 4 now) we had about 40 people over to our small-ish (~1300sqft) house. Since it is in November, we didn't get to even use the outside. We did a Dragons Love Tacos theme. It was great! There were about 14 kids here (including ours) and their parents/our friends. It was ridiculously stressful, but only because I made it so- it is totally possible to make it easy.