My MIL has been a caretaker (as in daycare) for our nephew since he was 4 months old. Now at 7 years old, he very much looks at her as a parental figure, instead of as a grandparent. She offered to watch E for us before he was born, but we declined because it was important to us that she remain a grandparent in his life and not caretaker or parental figure.
Fast forward to last night. MIL casually texts DH to tell him she has an interview at E's daycare to work in the infant room. She never told us she applied, and I have seen her every day for the last two weeks. She lives about 40 minutes away and passes more daycares than I can count on my two hands to get there. She thought it would be fine because E will move to the toddler room soon and so she wouldn't be a primary caregiver. Except that the toddler and infant room teachers often move back and forth to keep ratios in the correct range.
DH called her and tried to explain to her why we were upset about this. That we think E would associate her more with school and less as family. She was very upset at said she doesn't need to run her every action by us for our approval and couldn't understand why this was different. She ended the conversation by saying that she just wouldn't go to the interview and I know she'll be mad at us that she's still unemployed.
Did we overreact? I really feel like we had a valid concern and I'm annoyed that she didn't ask if we'd mind if she applied. But I feel really bad that we potentially cost her a job opportunity.