I am not usually one to post, but I need help navigating this. My grandmother is a pretty awful person. She is mean, vindictive, and manipulative. As a child, my parents did not protect me from her (or my grandfather) which resulted in a lot of emotional and mental trauma.
Fast forward to now and I mostly only see her at holidays and for the most part I try to avoid her. I have my two young kids, and I am not really interested at all in them having any sort of relationship with her. Despite all of this, I feel badly for her because I am a human, and her husband died just before Christmas last year. She is clearly lonely, and the empathetic person in me wants to make regular visits to her (every other week for a short time) alone to at least make an effort to help her not feel alone. I sincerely want to do this, but the thought of spending any time with her makes me sort of skeeved out. I am fully capable of protecting myself from her now and nothing she says or does can affect me, but I am just not sure if I want to set myself up for exposing myself to her.
The other aspect that I am struggling with is that she is very wealthy and I know that my brother and cousin are taking advantage of her monetarily, and no one is doing anything to stop this. Part of me thinks she deserves it because she has been so horrible to all of us, and the other part of me thinks that no one should be treated like this, even if they are terrible.
I just need some sound advice from some of the other people here. Sorry this is so long.