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I've heard a couple times from my MIL tings like "I wish you could swing it for you to stay home, it really is best for children." Never comes off super judgy, but doesn't make me feel any better. Yeah I wish we could afford it too, but I'd hate to tell her I'm the bread winner so we need my income, I don't think that would go over well.

That hacks me off. Raising your child & teaching them is a waste of your education!??! How about thinking your LO is lucky because they have a smart, go-getter mom who will apply herself to giving your LO the best foundation, best teaching, best childhood experience that she can! Grrrrrr! I'm sensitive about that as well since I have a lot of education that I won't be "using" when I start staying home, but I truly think the logic of this that line of thought is so faulty. Is it better that someone uneducated takes care of my kids?? How the heck is it a waste of my education to use all I know to raise my kids?? Ugh. I'm sorry you had to hear that from someone. Knowing people think that is different than hearing someone say it out loud.

ETA: I also get it from the other side. All I heard at first is how nice it would be if I could stay home.

@RubyCali: we all try to do what's best for our families. Like @avivoca & @LuLu Mom , I get it from the other side. Comments about how my baby is growing up while I'm away at work... like I don't miss him all day long but know I have to provide for my family, too. Ugh.

It's rude to comment on someone's decision to work or stay at home. Period.

At the same time, I applaud a *man* of a *different generation* appreciating you for your brain rather than your birthing hips. It seems like he meant it as a compliment to your intelligence and ambition, so take it as a compliment and move on. Regardless of your work status, my opinion is that nothing is better for kids than a mother confident in her decisions.

@RubyCali: wow. He is so wrong. Honestly I don't agree with him. I have a butt load of education and I feel very proud of it and very proud of "staying home"- not that I call it that. I am taking care of my daughter. For me personally it is the hardest, most demanding thing I have ever done. It is important, requires sacrifice and it deserves respect. No education is wasted. You are a better person and a better mom and most likely more secure for your education and it benefits you, lo and others is many ways- life isn't just about income buddy (to your father's friend.)

@rachiecakes: @avivoca: @LuLu Mom: me too ladies, "that baby wouldn't be sick so often if you'd take him out of daycare"

You are damned if you do, and damned if you don't, honey. And hopefully this guy keeps his mouth shut from now on!

It's true, you absolutely can't win. I work part-time and get it from both sides! My mother-in-law has said multiple times "It's just such a shame she has to be in daycare."

Meanwhile a coworker said "It's a shame to see young women like you throw their careers away at such an important time in life."

So either way, some nosy people will see your decision as "such a shame." People need to back off. Everyone makes the decision that's best for their families and they and their kiddos end up great either way.

@jetsa: I hear that all the time from my mom.

I recently told her that the mom two houses up stays home with her boys, and my mom made a comment about how her husband must make an awful lot of money to be able to afford a house like we do on only one salary. I wanted to punch her.

What works for others may not be what works for you and your family.

I have a picture on my desk of my baby and I get a lot of questions about how old he is and such. When I mention he's 4 months I get a look like "That's awful young to not have his mom at home with him." Blah blah blah. Mind ya business

ETA:

You cannot win this argument.

Hugs. You are not wasting anything.