Hellobee Boards

I'm gonna second Lawbee11...I probably would have ended up giving birth at home if DH hadn't gone to those classes with me. He's also the one who pushed me to see an LC when I was having problems.

A lot of times you can find just a single, 3 hour class that covers everything. Ours was 1 hour 1 time week for 3 weeks.

(1) Get him a copy of "The Birth Partner" and flag the chapters you want him to read. It's a big book, but it has lots of pictures and is written in short sections, so getting him to read certain parts shouldn't be a heavy lift.

(2) If you can find a short, 3-4 hour weekend class, I would absolutely recommend that. My husband and I only took one childbirth class - a 3-hour Sunday afternoon seminar offered through my yoga studio called "using yoga to prepare for childbirth." It was great and DH really enjoyed it. Not only did we meet other couples who were expecting, but the teacher took everyone through the basics of labor and delivery and did a lot of massage demonstration. The massage techniques were incredibly helpful during labor. It cost about $100, but was really worth it.

DH didn't do any prep for BFing and luckily we had an easy go of it. I am not sure what he really could have done to help me - just supporting the fact that I wanted to BF and do everything I could to succeed was enough.

@Mae: Because we were in a similar situation, I made a chart for DH and our doula that covered everything I had learned through my reading. It was like a cheat sheet for DH.

If you're not interested in classes, this might not work for you, but DH came with me to a La Leche Leage meeting. My local chapter does one meeting a quarter to which spouses/partners are invited to come and learn about support, ask questions, etc. It was helpful for expectation setting and ideas of how to be supportive. Other than that, like everyone else, the hospital classes made a big difference for DH in less time than reading would have taken.

Could you find some podcasts that might reinforce the ideas you want him to learn? My husband listens to podcasts while he gets ready for work in the morning (granted they are sports related) but it is a great way to squeeze in lots of information when time is of the essence. If it would be helpful I will see what I can find.

My DH took classes with me (8 weeks taught by our doula), and honestly, while he enjoyed them, he's not really a sit-and-listen type guy (or a read-and-learn guy). For him, he learned best by talking things over with me. I did research, took notes in class, etc., and then we talked about things he could do to support me, what to expect, what birth might be like, etc.
He also came to a midwife appt with me, and the midwife sort of talked him through similar things. I don't think there are too many men who would sit down and read Ina May...even though its wonderfully helpful!

@Mae: I think it's important for the other parent to have a knowledge and understanding of the labour and delivery process in case you aren't in a position to understand, advocate or provide consent for yourself.

Perhaps your midwife could provide you with some resources or you could ask if any of your friends still have the handouts from their classes?

@Mae: There are online birth classes you could always check it out? I think for us birth classes were more helpful for DH than me, because I had done the research, but it really did help to prepare him.

I don't have any book recs but if I were you I would also really start talking to him about whats to come, what to watch for, how to support you. For me a lot of what we learned went out the window during labor, but DH's preparedness for labor was so much better from knowledge, so maybe just start sharing your knowledge with him? I promise that while you think he wont need to know stuff for labor or breastfeeding, he really does, he is your main support person in both of those endeavors, and they are both HARD so you need that support person to be as prepared as possible.

I think it depends on the couple - we didn't do any classes, and DH didn't do any reading. I knew he would trust me and follow my lead on things (ie breastfeeding, labor and birthing choices). I also didn't have any desire for him to be spouting off 'facts' or things I'm 'supposed' to be doing while laboring. I knew that would just piss me off! So, we did what worked for us! Noooo regrets.

@Mae: I think the book @septca: recommended, "The Birth Partner", even has little summaries at the end of each section that include all the key points, as well a pages that outline techniques for rhythm breathing, massage and counter-pressure, laboring and birthing positions, etc, and when to use which technique. You could get a copy of the book from the library, photo copy those pages, and circle/highlight the things that are important to you.