My DH has exhausted all his mental resources and has given up. Here's the situation: he's had this pain that seems related to GERD (a digestive condition), but traditional heartburn medicine hasn't helped. He's been dealing with it for about a month now, maybe more. He's had full bloodwork (all clear), had a trip to the ER when he felt he'd pass out from pain, was seen again by his primary MD, and nobody can see anything wrong. His doctor FINALLY referred him to a gastrointestinal specialist at MGH. He calls this specialist and the first available appointment isn't until July!! DH told me he's done with this process (I laid it out simply, but this entire process is about 1 million phone calls, holds on the phone, and hang-ups, later.) He said "well, the doctors don't seem to care so I give up. If something happens to me and I die just sue." (yes, dramatic.) But my hormones are all over the place right now and I have already been worried that something might be very wrong. Am I allowed to call specialist and try to push appointment sooner? Am I allowed to call his primary and inform him that the specialist he referred my DH to won't see him until July? I know DH is "done" with the process. No amount of reasoning will get him to budge, I'm lucky he even let it get as far as booking further intervention. (He HATES the doctor's office.) So I am afraid that if I don't try to be aggressive, nothing will happen and I'll be stressed and worried for him in the meantime. What would you do?
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Can you find another GI doc? Or get a recommendation for one that has more availability?
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Exactly! Like @bluebird said, call your PCP (regular doctor) and tell them that the referred doctor can't get you in until July and you'd like to be seen sooner. Ask for him to give you a new referral or a couple if many are likely to be booked. Also, you can call first to the practice you got referred to and ask if another doctor in their practice can see you sooner so that you can get a referral from your PCP to that doctor. I work for a health system and know that some of our doctors book really far out because they're really popular, but if you want to get seen right away, we have others who could take you in a day or two. You just have to ask. In a situation where he's feeling that bad, I'd definitely recommend taking the first available specialist.
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Thanks ladies!! @marionberry: Am I allowed to make those call on my DH's behalf?
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that's frustrating
I know the specialists at MGH are the best and the wait can be ridiculously long. Did you make/keep the July appointment? I would. If he's still fed up by then and doesn't want to go, then you can cancel. You could always look into another hospital/get a referral for somewhere else? -
@MrsLilybugg: You should be able to. I'm not sure if clinics invoke HIPAA just at setting up or inquiring about an appointment. I mean parents do it for kids all the time. If it causes any trouble, get the information from them and have your DH call right back or get on the phone when you're done to actually schedule the appointment. I'm sure you doing as much legwork as possible will be better for him.
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@rachiecakes: yes he made and is keeping the July appointment and said that hopefully he's "better by then"
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@marionberry: Thank you!!! OK I'll try to see if the specialist's office can tell me if they have another dr. that can see him sooner!
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Sorry your DH is having health issues! I agree with PPs that you should call some other specialists and see if you can get an earlier appt for him. I've had to do that for myself before. In regards to calling on behalf of your husband, I do it all the time! If I didn't he'd never go to another appointment again. He just doesn't have the time to make all the calls, sit on hold, etc. No one has ever said he had to call himself. I've even called for specific info as to what he had done - when I was pregnant he (i) asked for him to get the Tdap and when he came home, the form just said tetanus so I called to find out if he actually got the Tdap and they told me.
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If you want to see that doctor, you can keep calling every few days to see if there are any cancelations so he can get in sooner. Also, if there are any other GI specialist practices in your network with earlier appointments, you can probably make the appointment and ask your PCP's office for a referral. Usually they don't really care who they're referring you to.
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@MrsLilybugg: Yes you definitely can call on your husband's behalf. I know this first hand, because my husband refuses to make any kind of appointment phone calls. if it were up to him he would never go to the Dr ever in his life. So I make all of his appointments for him!
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I always call to book DHs appts because he always forgets/is working when the office hours are. THey won't give you the results, but you should have no problems calling on his behalf!
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Dh makes apts for me all the time. I get migraines and like your dh, calling the doctors stresses me out! He doesn't mind so he makes some of my apts and calls when I have a question.
good luck, hope he feels better!
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Thank you so much everyone!!! It's such a relief to know I'm not the only one that has to do this for her DH and that it's possible !!
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Looks like you've got your answer, but I do it all the time. Otherwise, it doesn't get done! Hope your DH feels better soon.
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I just made an appt for my husband (he's a chef so it's hard for him to have time to handle those things) but IDK if it's because he's existing that it was ok. Hope you can get him in!!
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DH would never go to the doctor or the dentist if I didn't make the appointments!
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Also, ask the specialist if DH can be put a list for any cancellations or appointments that open up!
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@MrsLilybugg: I feel like I post about this all the time, but I have GERD, which caused me to have a stricture in my esophagus last spring. It was so extremely painful. I was already on Protonix (fancy heartburn meds) when it got dramatically worse, so the pills were doing nothing for me.
It also took me calling 7 (!) referrals from my primary doctor (who I had to keep calling back to get more referrals) because EVERY gi doctor was telling me it would be at least 6 weeks till I could get an appointment.
What finally worked for the appt was calling 3 times, begging for cancellations and crying on the phone...they moved me up and I got an appointment a week later.
IN THE MEANTIME....I did a lot of research online and started doing every suggestion I could find. My primary doctor never suggested a bland diet (grrr), but once I found that online and started to follow it, I got ever-so-slightly better every day until I wasn't in *severe* pain, which helped me make it that week until I could get to the appointment.
Here's what helped me:
-cut out 100% all coffee, tea, caffeine, juices, and carbonated beverages. They all irritate GERD.
-cut out all acidic foods (like tomatoes and spices)
-cut out all spicy foods-Buy some Aloe Vera gel at a health food store and swallow it by the spoonful, before and after every meal. It doesn't taste great, but the relief it provides is worth it.
-cut way down on dairy. There's some evidence that dairy temporarily soothes, but then causes your stomach to overproduce acid, which worsens the reflux overall.
Good luck!
I was in so much pain, I couldn't sleep or work. I went to my doctor once and the ER twice. I ended up having to pay 8,000 out of pocket (that's WITH my insurance), because the pain was so bad I was convinced it was something else. By the time I got my acid under control (no thanks to my primary doctor), my entire stomach and esophagus were inflamed and my esophagus has swollen almost shut completely (I couldn't get food down---It would get stuck and I would have to choke myself to get it back up).
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@Anagram: OMG!!!!! That sounds soooo painful and terrible. It sounds so similar to what my DH is experiencing. I'm going to forward your tips to him - thank you so much! It's really ridiculous that it literally took you CRYING on the phone for a quicker appt. I'm so glad it worked for you!
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