So it has been a loooong time since I've posted. However I've lurked the whole time 😏
But after two months of repeated 'UTI's, I was able to have an internal ultrasound and discovered that I hadn't been suffering from UTI's at all but rather I've had a baseball sized mass within my uterine wall, a golf ball sized mass in my cervix and masses on at least one of my ovaries likely two years.
I know possibly two years bc two years ago this past March I had a uterine ablation and at that time my ultrasound was normal.
So, after waiting more than a week with no idea how to interpret my ultrasound results, I met with my Gynecologist who immediately said we needed to get things out of there.
She said 'it can't kill you if it's in a jar' and while I laughed bc she's right and I love her and her bedside manner. I'm still not feeling any better about it three weeks after making the decision to have a Hysterectomy.
Now I was already 100% done having children, I mean I had my tubes removed four years ago and then two years ago had my ablation. So making babies wasn't a thing for me anymore. But once I knew I would be removing possibly all of the parts of me that made and housed all three of my daughters, I just haven't made peace with it.
We have a running joke that I'm having my baby condominium removed. And joking around about how angry my uterus is so it's gotta go.
But. I'm only 38. I just don't feel old enough.
And if we aren't able to leave one of my ovaries I'll immediately be thrown into menopause. That in itself is terrifying.
But no matter how I still feel about it, I'm scheduled for surgery in one week.

I'm not entirely sure anyone will be active on these boards that are or have been in this part of their reproductive life. But if you are or have experience how did you cope? How did you heal? How have you dealt with menopause? I guess I just want to know I'm not alone in this at this age.