We have a 4 month old. I have a great career (teacher) and have the potential to move up very high within my job. But, I also know if I were to get pregnant again, it would lessen my chances of moving up in my position. Not that someone could outwardly discriminate against me because of pregnancy, but it is just likely what would happen. Plus, I solo-parent during the week so my hours aren't all that flexible due to child care. I would love to have another child, but I also love my career and want to move up soon. Have you ever had to pick child or career? I can still have both, but it's definitely on my mind often!
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I am expecting my second child in April and I would love to have a 3rd in a couple of years. I hope I can find career growth in a few years but I'm happy with my job (very flexible) right now.
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DH and I would love a large family! I guess it's tough in my field now when a lot of females in higher positions had kids way younger than me ( and are older now, if that makes sense).
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I didn't make a choice. I do my best to succeed at both.
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I guess you could say that I've chosen our baby...It definitely wasn't an easy decision and there have been times that I've felt a bit sad about having make the "sacrifice."
I've had multiple opportunities to move up or even leave my current company for a better job, but I've turned those down so that I can keep the flexibility in my current position. My current job allows me to leave work at 4 and sometimes earlier and I never have to work weekends or late.
For me, being able to have the extra time with our son means more to me than going for that next level in my career. But, believe me, it wasn't an easy decision.
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I totally picked family over career, which I'm not sure I thought would happen before. I worked my tushy off in grad school because I thought that was going to be #1 in my life. I had so many plans for my future career...... and then I met DH, fell in love, wanted babies, and wanted to stay home to raise them. My job no longer really mattered to me.
I know that I can always go back to the career when the kids grow up. But I also know that it's going to be a long time before I want to do that. I want to work part time first, and stay focused on the kids when they're in school so I can be there to volunteer at their school, go on field trips, be there when they come home from school and take them to after school activities, etc.
I do love what I got my degree in. But now it just isn't priority for me.
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I don't feel like you have to choose. You enjoy being a teacher, so you have that. And as you move up in the ranks, you will make more money, and therefore be able to tailor your childcare to better suit your nonflexible hours (a small raise could help compensate for a nanny or something of that nature).
Plus, you could always get pregnant after you've moved up a little and get your bearings. Lots of women with very, very demanding careers have children. You aren't alone! You just have to tap into some resources and see what they do to make it work.
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I would have loved if I felt I could choose both but it wasn't a feasible choice so I chose babies and will work on career later. I just reached a point where I was going to turn 30 and thought I've always wanted to be a mother, this is something I will always regret if I don't have a family. Perhaps I could have waited until I was older and tenured but I don't think women need to risk not being able to have children to succeed.
I gave it a try though I knew what would happen and ended up leaving after it was clear it would be completely miserable. So now my career path is less intense for now and different but I don't think I'll ever regret having kids, and I am more gung ho in speaking up about protections for women in the work place now.
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No, I didn't choose, but my job has a specific career ladder that I will move up if I work hard, regardless of my current pregnancy. I am also in grad school in order to help myself move up. I wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself! Pregnancy is only 9 months. Is it that you would 'miss' a specific potential promotion date during your pregnancy? Or that you fear you wouldn't be able to do the tasks? Maybe it would help if you discussed your worries with your boss; I know that helped me. Don't worry, there are lots of us women who are having kids but not wanting to slow down our careers!
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I'm not sure if I'm choosing family or career, but I do plan on trying to find a part time job when we have our 2nd child. I have a very demanding job and it's stressful because I'm not even the breadwinner, DH is so his career tends to take priority.
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My job/company is extremely "up or out", and I've found that while I still have at least some interest in working since having LO, I definitely do NOT have that same drive to put in extra time and effort or constantly be vying for great ratings and/or a promotion. DH's career is long hours and fairly inflexible, so the combination of all of that is making it look like staying home is the right decision *for now*.
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10 comments