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@DesertDreams88: I think its natural for a child to bond with their care giver especially in your case where the caregiver is also family and are taking care of him in a home setting. Like@FaithFertility: said this should set your mind at rest that he enjoys his time with them. Whether it seems like it or not he does know that you are his mom and no one can replace you. Kiddos tend to love their grandparents in a different way from the way they love their parents anyways because grandparents tend to spoil them more.
My parents provided care for DD and she would beg to go there even on the weekends. Its sadly a part of being a working mother. How old is your LO and will he be going to a daycare/preschool environment soon? In those environments kids bond with other kids their age rather than just the care provider

My mom doesn't provide care for us (I'm a stay at home mom) but my son vastly prefers her over me at any given moment. Loves his grandma! Today he was screaming that he wanted her and her only to put him for his nap.

@DesertDreams88: While I know this hurts, it has helped me to try to think of it in a way that there are so many people who love your LO and he loves them.

DS1 is and always has been a daddy's boy. He's 4 now, but daddy comes first for so many things. I used to get really sad about it, but I started looking at it in a light that he idolizes his daddy, and DH is a great man. If LO can be the man my husband is, we've raised him wonderfully. I hope they always have that great of a bond. In other instances, like when I go on a business trip, DS1 is pretty bad for DH. I didn't realize how much he missed me until DH went on a business trip this week, and DS1 has been an angel for me. He also comes to my side of the bed in the middle of the night for help with things...so while it's not ideal, he needs me more.

DS2 is attached at the hip to me; however, he's been in day care 5 days/week since he was 4.5 months. There is one teacher there who he adores...so much so that he can't wait to get out of my arms to see her when we get there. For some reason, I don't feel at all threatened by this. I'm his mama...nothing will ever change that. But when he sees someone who he plays with all day every day, he gets excited and wants to be held by them, and that's ok! There was a time where he was sick and I had him out of day care for a few days, and when we got back, he immediately went to that teacher and put his head on her shoulder because he missed her so much. I feel like it's a great bond for them to have because it means that the people who take care of him every day really care about him like he's their own. And while I know it's hard when it's grandparents, remember that you will always be his mama.

My FIL actually gets really jealous when DS1 spends any time with anyone but him. On Thanksgiving, he was bothering DS1 so much, that he wanted nothing to do with him even though he spends a lot of time with him normally. At one point, he actually was like, "Pop-pop...I don't want to play with you right now. Please leave me alone." I know it hurt my FIL's feelings, but the more you push, the more he'll want to spend time with the ones who aren't forcing themselves on him.

@DesertDreams88: I think this is a thing lots of kids do, although it doesn't make it feel any better. I think emotionally you can remind yourself that his "preference" doesn't mean he's not bonded to you & that multiple secure relationships are good for kids. Pragmatically, don't try to force anything (like cuddling if he doesn't roll that way), but making yourself available is good. Try not to burn yourself out with being there for him so much that you're not getting enough time for yourself. I promise you, there will come a time when all G wants is YOU.

Kids cycle, man. Here're some fun stories: my oldest used to only want me to read him bedtime stories because I was "soft" and daddy was "scratchy". Guess who's been shut out of bedtime stories for the better part of a month? He told me last night that "my dad is just so good at stories and he's so snuggly. Maybe next week mom". Also, I was nursing C in her daycare room a few weeks ago and her teacher walked in. C unlatched right away, practically threw herself out of my lap, and once I put her down she crawled across the room like there was no tomorrow to get to the teacher. Whatever girl. I'm just SUSTAINING YOUR LIFE FORCE OVER HERE.

My 2.5 year old has gone through many phases of this. I remember it being pretty rough at 10 months and she was in daycare full time. Now she's with my inlaws 3x a week and I feel a lot better when she gets in one of those phases! It's hard but deep down you'll always be their #1!

@JoyfulKiwi: your second paragraph is classic! I grew you in my body and sustain your life- give me a break kid.

I am going through almost the exact same thing right now (posted it today before I even saw this post!) and although it stinks your comments made me laugh and feel better. it seems like you ALL have gone through this in one way or another. thanks for sharing mamas! ️

I can definitely relate! My mom watches DD Monday - Friday and definitely has a strong grandma preference. It used to be tough when she was young but now that she's 2 it's gotten easier to handle. She still loves her Gigi, but can verbally tell me how much she loves me/misses me when I'm at work and it is really nice to hear that. Before she was verbal all I could see was how much she preferred my mom at times. I also try to make the most of the weekends/evenings which I think helps big time.

I think it's harder because it's your ILs. My son sometimes cries when we leave daycare, but it's not like we spedn time with our daycare provider on holidays or weekends, so it's not as in-your-face as it seems with your ILs.

I will say, we have actually made a concerted effort to encourage our son to be okay being around/held by/play with other people and it has been largely successful. So much so that I started getting a little sad that he didn't really seem to prefer me to other people like my parents and aunt and uncle. Then over Thanksgiving, for some reason, he got SUPER clingy and only wanted mom and dad. It was kind of sweet at first, but after a couple days of it, I was done! So now I'm back to being glad he likes other people!

My son and my parents are obsessed with each other. As an example, we're going to a gingerbread house building event and my son has told my mother that he is making the house for her. I do admit I died a little inside when my mom told me about it, because we were going to make it together and then I thought we'd display it at our house.

But then, at night as my son and I cuddle before bed, he tells me I am his cutest and most favorite person in the world.

So, I guess what I am trying to say is, he'll always be your son and you will always be his mommy. Someday, he will show you and tell you in ways you won't believe. Trust in that, momma!

My ILs don't even watch my oldest regularly but whenever we are at their place, he flips out when we leave. I hate it but I try to remember that she spoils the crap out of him there and almost never says no so of course he likes it better there and that does help. Sorry you are going through this.

That is sad, I totally understand! The other side of the story is, would you rather him be miserable with people all day? Its a positive problem

@DesertDreams88: my dd didn't get snuggly until 14 months or so...