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My mom is one of seven and all of her siblings have kids except one! They all get their mom (my grandmother) a present, and then they rotate who gets which sibling every year so they only buy for one adult per year. Spouses would be included in the rotating gift years and I'm pretty sure they had a spending limit also. The aunts and uncles would get a small gift for each kid, but only until we turned 18. Usually it would be like a $15-20 gift card, a book, or an article of clothing.
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@LCTBQE: Ugh my mom is obsessed with "something to open" also. Her gift to us this year is a family Disney trip for early 2017 so it is HIGHLY unnecessary that she gets a gift for them as well.
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Our situation is confusing...
For DH's immediate family we buy for all, MIL/FIL/SIL/SIL. And they all buy for us DH/Me/DD. For his extended family on one side we do white elephant (participation not required). On the other side there are no gifts exchanged, although his aunt's uncles did give DD gifts last year (we went to the get together)
For my immediate family we also buy for all (Mom/gram/brother/nephew). I am closer to my aunt's/uncle's and cousins than DH is so I buy them all small/combined gifts.
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I think for nieces and nephews, you have to do all or none. I have 13, and do $5-10 gifts or family gifts (games, puzzles, etc)
For the adults on my side, gifts aren't a given. We once said we'd only do stuff for the kids, but finally people realized that I was buying for so many kids and DH and I weren't getting anything.
Some years we give gifts to adults, some years we don't really and only give to mom and the kids
I'm closer to one family of kids than the other, but that's not the kids fault (it's the adults I don't see as much) so I don't hold it against the kids
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DH's family has 6 kids including him and now 9 grandchildren including LO. Due to divorce and so forth, there are not a lot of spouses-in-law but with his parents, that's a lot of people to shop for!
We have done gifts for everyone in the past but last year and this year we just did gifts for the kids (~$25 budget) and I usually just have something very small and token for his siblings to open. I think I always end up doing a framed family picture of us, ha.
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We have like, six cousins to buy for in addition to our siblings parents, and grandparents, and aunts. I'm so over it! This year each kid younger than three is getting an elephant and piggie book and all grandkids over three are getting a ten dollar gift card for a local ice cream place. We just spend entirely too much at Christmas mostly on gifts to CYA. This year I am taking from the family budget so I can spend more on our helpers: daycare workers, son's physical therapist, etc.
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I have 6 cousins, but only see 3 at the holidays. Of those 3, I only gift to 1 (the only female), who is basically the sister I never had. The other 2 (men) don't care. I also only gift to the female cousins kids, because they're my godchildren.
On my husbands side, he has so many cousins/cousins kids....they don't exchange.
I think if I had a huge family I would organize an exchange where you have a different person you gift to every year or something.
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For all the adults, we do a Secret Santa and draw names in early November, so each person only has one adult to buy a gift for. For the kids, everyone is supposed to buy them a present, but not everyone does. Mainly it's the single guys that don't.
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My mom comes from a big family and we are close with all our cousins and no one gives Christmas presents, or birthday presents. My parents haven't given me a present since I left for college.
Dh has a small family and everyone expects to be sent something, even the grown ups (we have the only two grand kids). I make photo magnets or something like that for everyone and include my parents and grandmothers but not my siblings. They don't want magnets...
We are still figuring out what Christmas means for our family...
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I try to make it a point not to visit my family on Christmas since I don't want to exchange gifts. One year my mom went along with being okay not exchanging gifts and still had a little something wrapped. K-Cups. She was annoyed I wasn't more grateful.
With DH we have only spent one Christmas with his fam (three adult women) and I bought gifts for them. They had gifts for us too. I ended up regifting everything except for a Starbucks GC.
IDK I am not a fan of holiday gift-giving although I love games and a White Elephant exchange sounds fun!
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I would suggest secret santa for the adults and then group gifs for kids who live together. Also they dont have to be expensive gifts
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