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My SIL got both kids big toys for their birthdays and Christmas (both are Dec babies) and I wanted to cry! They were great toys but take up so much space and not something I would've gotten!
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@Ajsmommy: WTH?? I think you win!
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@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: This is the one we have - DS feeds her from her "juice box" (water that makes tears come out of her eyes :P).
https://www.target.com/p/baby-alive-sweet-tears-baby/-/A-52182113
PS I definitely got it on sale!
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@tinyperson: I just found out that I am pregnant with twins. We live in an apartment. Part of my pregnancy announcement will include a request to stop buying so much crap. We are going to need the space!
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@snowjewelz: I have a rule for my family: Any gift larger than a cubic foot requires pre-approval by me.
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@ElbieKay: Haha that's a good rule! My family is totally fine with my dictatorship over gifts... But I don't feel comfortable saying anything to my SIL. Just glad presents only happen twice a year
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To the moms who have rules/approval, how did you work that out? First time parents, LO arrived 12/10. His mom is a shopper and has gotten lots of stuff throughout pregnancy, but Christmas was the first real gift occasion. They got her a large playmat. We had already gotten her (a smaller!) one, so we're going to return it and they're cool with that. But we have tiptoed around gifts from the minute we announced we were pregnant emphasizing how small our house is and to not buy lots of stuff. I am thrilled they're so excited for her, but I want to establish boundaries sooner rather than later. Or do we just let her go and keep those presents at grandma's house? Some stuff I just would rather we pick out ourselves, like she said she had been looking at a crib mobile but we were very intentional about decorating her room and the only reason she doesn't have one yet is because I am being picky about choosing one. I don't want to hurt her feelings or be ungrateful.
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Laugh: DS got this silly fuzzy yellow worm thing that is meant for an older child to do 'tricks' with. He was terrified of it for the first four days, so it was hilarious. Now he actually loves it and calls it his wiggly wormy. The dumbest thing becomes his most played with gift.
Cry: No gifts did, but I got a little sad putting away the tree thinking there will be so few years with the kids being little!
Roll Eyes: DH and I had actually said how we needed to de-clutter, DS has so many BIG toys in our basement that take up so much room. DH's sister came later that day with a GIANT box (matchbox car track/table). It's 5 ft x 3 ft. We do NOT have a toy room either. And then mentioned she got DD a play kitchen, that we decided not to get because we don't have room for it. Sigh. The kids will love it, me not so much.
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@starchild: I think especially with family you know well, you have to be polite but blunt about your preferences. My mom used to own a small pre-school and has saved all the stuff for a decade for her grandchild. We live in a small apartment now and just had to be blunt that we really appreciate the thought but cannot take the stuff now, there is just no way....Hopefully by the time our kid is pre-school age we'll have more space, but we'll just have to see. It can also help if you have other family that can intervene on your behalf. My brother has been good about emphasizing to my mom that we just do not have space for all the stuff she's been storing up for us...
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eyeroll: after talking with my MIL for the hundredth time about how we are pretty minimalist with toys and to please stop buying dollar store junk but consider gifting experiences instead or come to visit, she asked if she could ship down a wooden train set. We were under the impression that it was DH's old one, and they wanted to free up space in their house, so we reluctantly agreed. Nope! We just found out that it is a random hand-me down from her friend's grandchild, and a jumble of 3 different sets that don't really fit together. She wanted to keep DH's for the 2 times a year we visit... so now i'm writing a thank you note to a lady I've never met, for junk that doesn't work, and that we don't want in our house.
Not me, but my good friend's MIL gifted 3 big gifts they don't have space for: a table and chairs, an art easel, and then the week after Christmas, a 7' diameter trampoline arrived in the mail with no warning! It went straight into their attic and they never even told the kids
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My inlaws got A a push walker that helps toddlers learn to walk. She's been walking for almost three months now.
They also got H a Belle dress...which she already has. My husband told them that they need to clear all gifts with us from now on.
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@avivoca: How do you think this will be received by your in-laws? Similar things happen to us, but I don't think my in-laws would like to be asked to clear gifts through us.
Mine really like gifting, and thus, want their gifts to be surprises (but of course, want them to be huge hits...you can see where this is going). Whereas, my family ASKS me what they should buy, or clears their ideas with me. So there are never duplicates, and the things they get the kids knock the kids socks off because they've been wanting them (for example, my sister got the girls their own hard-side suitcases with cute patterns this year- they were thrilled). My MIL bought them flannel sheets (which they actually HAD asked for after feeling mine) - unfortunately, so did Santa, and Santa choose much cuter, kid-friendlier patterns, and his got opened first....MIL was disappointed and I felt bad, b/c she could have had a big win - but didn't want to tell me what she was buying so that I could plan accordingly!
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@PinkElephant: Well, it's their son and they generally do okay with stuff like that. He tells his mom that she isn't allowed to smoke in her own house when we are there and she's okay with that, so I don't think it will be a big deal. It's just annoying when they buy duplicates of something we already have (and they've seen before).
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My dad gifted DS a shirt with a dinosaur spinning a dreidel. Not only are we not Jewish (it was a Christmas gift!), but he won't fit in that size until the spring.
The best was when I asked him what he was thinking, he said, "I was trying to get him something from when I visited Atlanta, and they don't have much down there!." The brand is Cat & Jack, so he obviously just bought it at Target.
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I mentioned to my FIL's GF that DS2 likes Paw Patrol now and EVERYTHING she got him was Paw Patrol. He got a blanket, bath towel, jammies, 2 outfits, one of the playsets and some other toys. All effing Paw Patrol!
We celebrate with my immediate family in a few weeks. My SIL who drew DS2's name in the cousin pool mentioned to me that she'll need to bring his gift by early b/c even though she only spent the $25 limit we set, it's huge and apparently loud. WTF can you buy for $25 that's huge and make loud noises??? I don't want it!
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@starchild We keep reiterating rules, and they have NEVER worked for us *sigh*
Case in point this year: Since my 2 girls have everything they could possibly want (they couldn't even come up with a list for Santa!) we asked our family to pay for various lessons throughout next year--ice skating, gymnastics, cooking, dance, soccer, it gets expensive with 2 kids! We also provided ideas for a related 'tangible' gift they could wrap for the kids (ie. ice skates). Each family member was on board, and we were thrilled that our idea was a success!
Then my MIL relentlessly badgered my husband for a few "supplementary" gift ideas, so we sent her a list of options. Not only did she buy the ENTIRE list, we're pretty sure she bought the entire doll aisle at Target and like 10 hideous outfits for each kid. On Christmas Day, 2 large laundry baskets HEAPING with these gifts showed up at my house. And unfortunately other family members also purchased extra gifts, just not as bad as my MIL, but our "give lessons not toys" idea totally did not accomplish what we wanted. Our local Salvation Army will benefit from this in a couple months though lol.
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