Who else cannot do the CIO method? I just simply can't. Idk why. It make me want to cry, I feel horrible and just ultimately doesn't work for me. Anyone else have this problem? What did you do as an alternative to the CIO method?
Who else cannot do the CIO method? I just simply can't. Idk why. It make me want to cry, I feel horrible and just ultimately doesn't work for me. Anyone else have this problem? What did you do as an alternative to the CIO method?
persimmon / 1355 posts
I'm with you. No judgment towards anyone who does CIO, but it seems really unnatural to me. Well it does now. Before having LO, I thought we would sleep train. We are just waiting it out and taking some strategies from the no cry sleep solution.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
CIO wasn't the right fit for our family and I don't really agree with it from a parenting philosophy point of view. I do however believe in good sleep hygiene from the get go and that there's a wide range of sleep training techniques that don't involve just leaving an infant / baby to cry unattended.
We didn't do any sleep training with our LO and at two she is now consistently STTN (fingers crossed it continues!) and I have read that whether you sleep train or not makes no difference by the age of three. We got through the last two years by nursing to sleep and bedsharing from the first wakeup.
honeydew / 7589 posts
We knew from the beginning it wasn't a good fit for our family, neither DH nor I felt comfortable with it at all. We bedshare and nurse to sleep/through wakeups, and she sleeps extremely well.
I think we've had only maybe seven or eight nights, ever, where sleep was an issue - and that was because she was sick or had jet lag.
I'm really convinced that proximity to parents helps babies sleep better, so I always advocate for at least room sharing, if not bedsharing (safely, of course).
papaya / 10343 posts
I thought I couldn't. We tried once and it was the worst thing ever. I cried and hated myself and the jackass who thought CIO up and gave it up. We then had success with just tons of in crib calming. Set her down and as soon as she spits out paci put it back. If she fusses shush her. Etc. that worked for a month until it didn't. Then she started crying every time I set her down and I spent a few days cosleeping bc it was literally the only way for both her and I to sleep. But the problem is I'm not comfortable cosleeping. I understand safe sleep tactics and whatnot but to me it just makes me feel unsafe. Plus I don't think it is good for my marriage nor do I think it's good for me as a sahm to have 0 hrs/day without lo. So out of desperation we did CIO again (Ferber with checks) starting 2 nights ago and the first night at bedtime was the worst thing ever again and I really doubted myself but holy cow she fell asleep and slept all night in her crib with only 2 fast checks! And last night she cried waaaaaay less at bedtime and slept all night until later than usual with no checks! Point being, I felt the same way but for us it worked. And was worth what boiled down to 2 bad hrs.
clementine / 927 posts
We did some sleep training and it worked temporarily then it pretty much backfired. It was the most painful thing I've done and really, really regret doing it. My DH wants to try it again. But I just keep making excuses. Something has to be done though because waking up every hour (sometimes even more often) is untenable longterm. I don't even know how I'm still hanging in there.
clementine / 927 posts
@Mae: that's great!! I'm happy things are working out for you guys. I follow all your sleep posts because I am in the same situation you were in. I'm just so conflicted!
papaya / 10343 posts
@Leah: god it's so hard. I really really didn't want to do CIO but at fias ped apt on fri the doc told me I either needed to suck it up and sleep train or give up driving bc I was at a point where I was probably dangerously sleep deprived. And sat night did suck. 2 hrs to fall asleep, 1 hr 15 min of hard crying, and she got so worked up she threw up a little. Hated it. But last night (only night 2!!) she slept in her crib with 0 intervention from 915-625. So for us? Totally worth it. We are all a sleeping better already.
persimmon / 1273 posts
It's not right for us either, BUT my kid is a generally decent sleeper with some nasty regressions thrown in. So far, he has always (eventually) returned to his normal decent habits which make it easier to hang in through the awful. The bad nights do make me understand why and how parents use CIO -- if my baby slept that poorly long term, we'd need to do something for his sake and mine.
I cannot for the life of me make bedsharing work though. He just kicks, pulls hair, etc and neither of us get any sleep.
So we are pretty much waiting it out for now. Waiting for this current regression to end (he has learned to pull up and cruise around his crib and it is making us all crazy. Except for LO, who is thrilled until he realizes just how exhausted he is) and waiting for his sleep to be consistently better.
cherry / 209 posts
Me too...i cant bring myself to let my baby cry but i am reaching end of my rope and looking at mae's experience i might give it a try.
pomegranate / 3565 posts
Before kids I thought I'd be able to do it. Nope, letting them cry just didn't work for us. I physically get super anxious and need to comfort them. So DH and I let DS1 sleep with us. It works for us and we know it won't be forever. It feels normal to have him close by and I miss DS2 who actually sleeps in his crib. To me it makes sense that babies want to be close to their parents. But I understand that bed sharing isn't for everyone.
pomegranate / 3331 posts
also not on board. it doesn't actually fit our sleep problems so i have never really tried it. i have a baby that happily goes to sleep on her own, but still wakes up to nurse a few times a night because she reverse cycles. I can't imagine making her CIO when she's starving.
cherry / 209 posts
@Mae: did you got rid of soother and are you nap training as well at same time. Sorry lot of questions but desperate and sleep deprived mom. I was kind of following you, our babies are quite similar. Can you just update your two night experience and how you dealt witn crying.
coconut / 8472 posts
I just want to say don't knock it until you try it. We did CIO with DS because he was crying regardless. And now he sleeps AWESOME and has since 7m. After bath time we give him a pacifier, read him a story and he's usually out and then sleeps for 11.5-12 hours straight. If he's crying in the middle of the night I know something's wrong.
I feel now like CIO was something we all needed to get through because it was better for him and for us than broken in sleep in 45min - 2 hour increments all night long. Just like shots - they suck for everyone, but ultimately they are what's best for him.
pear / 1657 posts
We were, like @Mae:, totally opposed to sleep training and CIO, but we got to a point where there was truly nothing we could do to get him to sleep. DS would actually cry harder when we went in to get him when he would and fight and flail in our arms. I'd nurse him back to sleep and the second I put him in his crib he would wake up and start screaming again. We tried-co sleeping but no one was sleeping well. So we finally tried Feber's method with checks. The first night he cried 10 minutes and fell asleep - he was crying longer than that when we would try and soothe him.
Bedtime has become much more manageable. He still wakes up to nurse once or twice, but sleep is better all around.
clementine / 856 posts
echoing what @ShootingStar said. I realize it's not for everyone, but this topic was posted on the sleep training board, and the fact is that many of us have done CIO. So for some to say they don't agree with it or that it goes against their beliefs or whatever...I guess I cant help but feel defensive. Perhaps the ones who don't aagree with CIO have naturally better sleepers and just never felt that desperation of needing to get baby to sleep? But like @Mae said, some are left with little other option and the end result is actually less crying overall. I doubt that anyone, even those who advocate or have had success with CIO, likes to hear their baby cry.
pomegranate / 3331 posts
@blackbird: i agree! that's why i don't feel it fits our situation. although our doc actually suggested we could try it in an effort to night wean - but i'm just not comfortable doing so when she refuses to eat during the day.
wonderful grape / 20453 posts
@Pirouette: Oh ok! I misunderstood. I was gonna say, you definitely don't do CIO for night feedings! We had better luck just reducing the amount slowly until she just stopped missing it
pomegranate / 3565 posts
@BabyTsMom: I think you have a point. DS1 has never been a good sleeper. Bed sharing just naturally worked for us. If it hadn't, then I probably would have moved on to the next thing. Still not sure if I could handle CIO but I never got to that point.
papaya / 10343 posts
@Jass: I don't want to threadjack but I'll maybe start a new thread about it? Seems like some people have some stuff to talk about with this. Look out for a thread from me in a few minutes.
cherry / 209 posts
@littleblessings: sorry didn't intended to threadjack, just a sleep deprived mom looking for answers and courage.
pear / 1739 posts
@Jass: that's fine! I am quite sleep deprived myself. I have a 9 month old and a 2 year old and the 2 year old hasn't been wanting to sleep. She used to have a perfect sleep schedule. /:
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