Hellobee Boards

I'm so sorry about your losses. When I was going through my infertility stuff I found meditation helpful in reducing my stress, circle and bloom makes TTC specific mediations but I've also used an app called calm and both were awesome in helping ease my anxiety.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been there and it sucks. I'm the type of person that likes to plan things and I was "good" at TTC (temping, opks, etc) but there was a point where I just felt so sad and out of control about the whole situation and it was very hard for me to handle. This may not be right for you, but what helped me after 2 losses in a row was actually to take a short break. I used the time to plan a vacation, started eating healthier and lost a little weight that I'd put on during my lost pregnancy, started a workout regime, and generally just tried to relax and enjoy myself. DH and I agreed we were ok waiting 3 months before trying again. I felt great after only about a month. It was so freeing not to worry about timing sex, two week wait, etc. and I realized that all that stuff had really been stressing me out. Ironically, after 2 months, we had an oops and he is 4.5 months old now. Even if we hadn't gotten pregnant during our break though, I think I would have felt much better going back into TTC after relaxing for a few months.

Best of luck and hugs to you!

big hugs.

between infertility and loss, I was in a really bad place while TTC my 2nd.. I sought out therapy because I needed a space that I could offload the fears. I saw her all the way through my long awaited pregnancy too... because the anxiety never left me, and I was petrified something would go wrong the whole way through.

x

I am so sorry you are going through this. I had a similar story as you (drawn out, later loss followed by an early loss(. I got pregnant with LO1 the next cycle. The way I coped was with a "let go and let God" kind of attitude. I didn't celebrate, plan anything, or worry. I just ignored my little parasite until we hit 23 weeks (my version of viability. I knew babies who had survived at that point). While detachment isn't the healthiest, it was far healthier than my anxiety

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I also suffered terrible through my infertility. I was talking with my OB the other day and she was like, Man, I don't know what it is about infertility, it's just such a primal thing that gets us so highly emotional.
I do know one day you will look back on this hard time and barely remember it. Seems impossible but it will happen.

@periwinklebee: I'm sorry for your losses. I know we were on the September board together & definitely share your pain in regards to the loss. For myself, acupuncture has been helpful to be able to cope with IF & the anxiety of whether or not my pregnancy was viable when I was pregnant with DD. I think for myself, I have been trying to rationalize why it has been positive for us to not be pregnant at this time. It's easier said than done but I keep trying to find small blessings in life right now. I remember DH & I would eat sashimi & but our wedding wine for me to drink whenever AF showed up hoping that would be the last opportunity I would have for the next few months. Every person's experience is different & how they manage their feelings varies greatly. I hope you are able to find something that will help you connect with your feelings whether it be learning new coping skills or restructuring your thought processes to manage your anxiety.

I'm so sorry you've gone through a second loss.

Acupuncture has helped me a lot these last few months, if that's something you'd consider trying. I also started reading again which has been great at keeping me occupied. I love to read and for some reason stopped reading books months ago, probably due to stress.

Im still anxious and worried, but just trying to keep myself busy with other things that have nothing to do with ttc. As you know, my loss 5 months ago was a termination at 19 weeks and was my first pregnancy. I think after you've experienced a loss and are aware that things don't always work out according to plan you lose your innocence with ttc and pregnancy.

Ive also been trying to not compare myself to others as everyone has a different path and I'm confident that years from now I'll have the children I was meant to have and so will you.