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Day 3 of parenting, working, educating
Good times. It has helped me with staying off the news, so I'm not so all in on the daily changes. It makes my life less overwhelming too. I fully expect that we will not be returning to school on 3/30 as originally planned. I'm not sure how I will sustain on this path. It's hard to be productive.
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Dd first day of remote learning was today. She was so excited because she’s “never got to work on a computer before!”
Of course it was various YouTube videos to watch and a coloring sheet to do. I printed off 2 copies so the 3-year-old could do one as well.
She wanted to keep working and her teacher posted virtual field trips, so she watched panda from the San Diego zoo and went on a walkthrough of the louvre.
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So today luck fell my way. My daughter woke up exceptionally early at 5:30 am, which I think was a gift. Because I was up, I checked my email and learned there was a webinar at 6:30am by the Va Dept of Health and one of the big medical societies. I signed on to listen in.
In that webinar, someone mentioned a pilot drive through testing site that was accepting appointments for 100 people today. I called immediately at 8:00am when the hotline opened and was scheduled for noon.
I went, was first in line, and the whole thing took <5 min. I should get results in 5-7 days. I really think I lucked out, because my plan B for testing had been to drive 1.5 hours east to a different hospital system that has had drive through testing for 2 days now. Well, about 30 min after I scheduled my test with dept of health, the hospital announced suspension of their drive through sites due to lack of test kits.
The other big thing I did today was got ahold of the ICU physicians caring for a patient I admitted almost 2 weeks ago. At the time, I wasn't in a position to be able to test him for Covid, but recommended to the admitting physician he be tested. That never happened, unsure why. Today I sent them a message expressing my on-going concerns and that I was even more worried now than 2 weeks ago given that I've now seen a few Covid cases. They agreed to test him. He only has a 33% chance of survival, and I suspect if and when he dies, I'll always regret not pushing harder. But maybe just maybe he has a shot.
DH is getting home soon. Today he was assigned to the "Covid Ward" in our ED. Essentially any potential patients came to and were evaluated by him. We've redesigned the entire flow and logistics of the ED for this. I'm curious to know how those changes went today. He's going to be spent.
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@yellowbeach: glad you got tested! I have a question about your ICU patient: why the push to get him tested? If he’s already in the hospital, he is hopefully getting care based on his symptoms regardless of whether he actually has COVID-9. I would hope that him being tested earlier wouldn’t have actually changed his prognosis?, I see why we want to know the denominator here, especially for those who are seriously ill, so it makes sense to test him for that reason of course.
Thank you again for all you are doing!
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@JJ2626: Great question. A few reasons.
1) if positive the isolation requirements are different, and a positive Covid pt needs a negative pressure room.
2) nursing requirements and assignments change. We don’t want the same nurse caring for a Covid patient also assigned to an immunocompromised patient like a liver transplant for example.
3) there are a few experimental drug therapies that ICUs across the world are trying (antimalarial and antiviral drugs like used in HIV).
4) ventilator management strategies can differ.
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@yellowbeach: These all make sense, thank you for the response! I was hoping that at least the ventilator and drug strategies would be the same for PUI and confirmed case but alas.
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@yellowbeach: great! Here's to more lucky days!
Creaking along here in NYC. Our case count has jumped quite a bit, but it's anyone's guess whether that's real, or due to more testing. I guess in a week or two we'll know whether the quarantine is working. One really bad development: two people in the city's biggest jail have been diagnosed. That could be a disaster, and I don't think anyone has a plan for it.
Finally convinced DH to stop "just dropping by" stores to pick up groceries. But now he's freaked out too. I don't know what's worse - when he's not taking me seriously, or when it's bad enough even he is nervous.
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@josina: Ugh, so stressed about all of this, mostly hiding in online doctor chats because my thoughts are so dark and cynical.
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@yellowbeach: how are you and family holding up?
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@yellowbeach: @luckygirl: just came on here to ask the same!
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@luckygirl @NWM: Thanks for asking. We are holding our own. I’m ina. Holding pattern waiting for my test results from Wednesday or for me to spike a fever or get worse in some way. Thankfully the latter hasn’t happened. DH is starting to crack mentally and physically under all of this pressure. Yesterday he had a scary episode where he had scrambled, funhouse type vision which really scared us. I checked his blood pressure at the time and it was high enough to be the cause. I gave him two options - go to our ED where they would evaluate him for stroke, or surrender his iPhone to me, drink a whiskey and sit outside for an hour to decompress and get fresh air. He opted for the later and his symptoms resolved and his blood pressure came down. All that on his day off. He works tonight in about 3 hours for another 10 hour shift I think he Covid ward, and tomorrow night again for 10 hours also taking care of purely patients suspicious for Covid.
It’s day by day honestly.
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@yellowbeach: Thank you for all of the updates and for all of the work that you and your husband are doing. Hopefully your test results come back negative this week.
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@yellowbeach: thinking of you and your family! Thanks for these updates for us. Take care of yourselves!
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Before this all blew up, I was already sick. DD had it first with a high fever, then I followed. It was bad, I couldn't get out of bed except to drink water and go to the bathroom. It was awful! DH fell sick a few days later.
When we started feeling better, it was declared a pandemic. We live abroad and they announced that they're not testing unless you've specifically traveled to, back then China. Later they added Italy. And even if you're literally dying, they don't want anyone showing up at the hospital. They would have to come and pick the person up away from others. But we were on the mend, and just stocked up on groceries before we got sick, so all was good. DH's work sent everyone home to work remotely and I was grateful we were all together. I wasn't so worried, I figured we all just had to sit tight. For some reason, it brought me solace to know that we were all in this together. I was calm ... until last night.
On IG I saw a post from my wedding photographer that said: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get out of the house and live your life like normal. He was spreading a "support the local shops" movement, but worded it in the worst possible way! The post urged people to go out. Nothing of social distancing -- it almost mocked people to live and stop being so lame. I could not sleep
Our local government has been criticized for not being so stringent with limiting social interaction and even on the country's main health authority website, they only state that sick people should self-quarantine. They do not mention that some people are asystematic and that the virus can live on some surfaces for up to 3 days.
Technically, what he says doesn't go against the local authority, but it is a directly defying the WHO's recommendations. I just checked and he removed any negative comment or criticism he received on IG because of his post. The local tourist bureau LIKED his post and is endorsing the movement. It #?!!@ nuts!
I am worried we'll end up like Italy. And our medical system was over worked to begin with. If things get bad here in Sweden, we will not have a functioning medical system to turn to.
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@SugarplumsMom: the people who don't take it seriously are the worst! I’m so tired of hearing that its a big hoax or a government ploy or no worse than the flu.
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@yellowbeach: I'm glad you're feeling ok. Thinking of you and your family.
@SugarplumsMom: this is crazy. I'm seeing too much of this in NYC too. Less as time goes by, but enough that it doesn't look good. So angry at everyone who put their social plans ahead of everyone else's health and ability to work.
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I think I really needed to let that out last night. I'm grateful to have you all to share these thoughts. After much better sleep, I've really calmed down and tried to understand why a seemingly sane person would post what he did. If I recall, he just bought a new house, maybe having another baby, and it seems he quit his job to go into photography full-time. I don't agree with his message, but I can understand his frustration.
The local tourist bureau that supports the local shop movement offers a more responsible message and others that are spreading the word seem to not be as extreme as the original post I've read.
Thanks, HB for the sounding board
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I've been thinking of all thr mamas out there.
Thr past two days I've been overcome with anxiety about giving birth in a pandemic. This is not my style, but...also, never been through a pandemic! What will my town look like in mid may? Will there be a bed in maternity for me? Will they have gloves? Will they take my baby sway from me if I cough (I have asthma triggered by seasonal allergies, manifests as a cough)? Will they allow any visitors at all, at that point? As written right now, the visitors policy seems like DH has to leave after delivery (he's all I want anyway, we weren't allowing anyone else to begin with). Seems like a very real possibility I will be delivering this baby without him. When will it be safe for our family to meet the baby?
I just pray that they have the capacity to deliver this baby. Everything else will be fine. I have an appointment on Thurs and hope to talk to the doc about this. However, I don't expect her to have all the answers, she's not been through this either...
ETA: This is our rainbow baby. We lost one almost a year ago, coming up on that 1 year anniversary. The timing is rough.
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@SweetCaroline: sending hugs ... it is hard enough to go through pregnancy after loss without this added on
we are here for you if you need a sounding board.
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I'm worried about losing my job.
Trying to work while having my kids at home. This is hard, to say the least.
Trying to get my kids outside twice a day for fresh air and sanity.
Coincidentally ran into neighbors on a walk last night. Stopped to talk for a few minutes, maintaining a nice distance. Some other Karen in her house called the cops on us. Thanks, Karen. I'm taking this seriously, but gees. Calm the f down, Karen , and just close your blinds. ETA: Cops have no desire to arrest someone for gathering.
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@yellowbeach: Any update? How are you?
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DH was furloughed last night. They were told at 5pm. Due to some weird circumstances he may not be eligible for unemployment. So that completely sucks. We are lucky to have a nice emergency savings but it will take a huge hit from this. DH’s company expects to be closed 1-3 months but they are only covering insurance payments through April (as of now, they said that might change). So honestly, right now, I’m pretty terrified of what the future will bring.
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@catgirl: If you are worried about birth and newborn expenses in particular, you may be Medicaid eligible.
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@yellowbeach: thanks. Not pregnant. Our only LO is five. Just worried about losing coverage. Hope you are doing alright - thank you for all you do!
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@agold: Good freaking grief. I mean, if you're throwing a party, sure. But come on, people.
(Anyway, sorry if this has *tone.* We're on day 9 of not leaving the house over here and we're both attempting to work from home and keep up compared with all those who don't have kiddos—seriously? You have time to read a book and color an adult coloring book and sunbathe and bake a cake and post how great you're doing so far with this whole quarantining thing and I'm terrified for my job and WHEW. I can FEEL the anxiety.)
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@catgirl: Oh no. I'm so sorry!
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@foodiebee: Yep. I feel your exact same thought. Kristin Bell posted on instagram that we should use the time to learn to play guitar. I'm at a loss for words..
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Just following along and posting my support to everyone on this thread. This is so hard!
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@foodiebee: I am SO SICK of people talking about this as free time! I spend every waking moment chasing a destructive toddler around and trying to get something, ANYTHING done work-wise. The house is a mess, I’m exhausted from staying up late trying to work. I’m sick to my stomach with stress over our job security. The last thing on my mind is how to “use this time.”
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@foodiebee @jennibenni: I feel you guys! I love my kid but being stuck at home with them and trying to work is impossible, and it is not some magical time that we will all look back on as amazing for family bonding because we started playing guitar together. It is such a paradox of time right now, that there is so much of it yet so little time to actually do anything. I wish it were a magical time outside of time that we could just spend with our kids, but until all work is canceled, no go! (That said, I'm trying to find moments where I can to connect with kiddo and make it lovely, since we gotta get through this one way or another. But it's no magical vacation, that's for sure.)
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@Jennibenni: YES. I just found out tonight that contracts may not be renewed for my job position due specifically to belt tightening to survive this economic downturn. While I get it, I am totally panicking now.
@agold: Soo glad I didn't see that. Ugh.
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@Orange Lily: I actually really wish I could slow down and enjoy this time. I know I'll look back and be regretful that I don't have this to be fully here with DS, and when it's my turn to be with him, I do put my laptop away and try, but I also know in the back of my mind that I've got XYZ meeting in 30 minutes and maybe I can get him down for a nap but maybe not, so what do I do with him while I'm on the call and then after the call there's....and on and on and on. I'm not winning right now and really struggling.
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@foodiebee: Totally, I'm not suggesting that I am excelling at finding time to connect either or that we should all put on our unicorn goggles. It is so hard with so many worries right now, and the upcoming conference calls. The struggle is real! I just joined this site today and it is already helping a tiny bit though--thank you all!
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We're both working from home as well with our 4 year old home. It's definitely not ideal. Tomorrow, her class has a Zoom meeting at exactly the same time as my department meeting and DH's department meeting too. She's not able to log into a videoconference call by herself at 4, so we've got to juggle all that. It's a lot. Her principal (who is amazing!) is doing a Facebook live storytime every afternoon at 2:00, which is great, but that's also when I have a lot of conference calls. We skipped it yesterday, thinking we could catch up later. There were nothing but tears when I tried to find the video this morning, only to realize that Facebook didn't save it.
You have to log on at 2:00 or you don't get to watch. We spend all day working, and I try to fit in instruction time in the morning, at lunch, and in the evening. Add in a little outside time when the weather cooperates, and that's the whole day. There's no time for family board games or any extra fun. And because my daughter's an only child, she's pretty much on her own during work hours. I've come to accept that I'll let her destroy the house and make whatever mess she wants if we can get some work done, then when work is over we have mandatory clean up time. But we're also trying to fit in her teacher's lesson plans, her online ballet videos, and her online assignments for her drama class. It's great that her extracurricular activities are trying to connect via video, but that's one extra task to add to the list. (And yes, we could drop those things if it came down to it, but she loves them.) And most of all, I feel bad that she's stuck with the 2 of us and isn't getting any time with other kids right now. Tired parents who are trying to juggle it all don't make the best playmates. So nothing helpful to add, just that I totally get the frustration. And I'm also irritated at comments from retirees or SAH moms that seem insensitive to this new reality.
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@Orange Lily:
Hello Bee is a truly wonderful community! And "unicorn goggles" made me LOL. -
Yes, I’m going a little bit crazy too. While on a conference call with my boss I tripped over a toy and literally fell to the ground. I was on mute though so no one heard. On that same call I helped Ds poop in the potty. Which is awesome because we’ve been working on it for months and while he’ll pee in th potty, he’ll basically always poop in his underwear. Basically missed the question they asked me during and had to ask for it to be repeated.
And on another conference call later that day dd walked in to tell me I was talking too loud and she couldn’t hear her show.... I’m just exhausted from it all....
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@yellowbeach: how are you and your family? Hope you are doing ok.
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Sending all the love to everyone!
Similar situation here - both of us are teleworking with our 6 year old in the house. Schools were shut down for the rest of the year this week (we're in VA), and we have no guidance at this point on whether they will move to any kind of distance learning (and if they do it won't be till mid April). Kiddo misses school more than anything so I've been that parent with the schedule and home school making stuff up because she really wants that, and it has definitely helped hubby and I structure our days around my conference calls and him being responsive to his staff (he's in IT). I've been getting up at my usual time (5:30 AM) to get work done before kiddo is up (so I'm feeling guilty even writing this post because I have so many emails to answer). It's impossible to concentrate on anything at work when I'm not on a call cuz I feel like I need to shift to parent mode. I'm grateful that we have decently stable jobs and supportive bosses but I'm exhausted trying to be all the things at the same time right now. I'm worried about my family - mom works for a nursing home in NJ that has 2 potential exposure cases, and dad owns a convenience store in NY; my brother and his fiancee are unemployed (both in the restaurant industry). My husband doesn't talk about things when things aren't going well so I have no idea what's on his mind. I know he's going stir crazy because he is a major extrovert and loves being around people and this is hard and he doesn't really have anything to do right now or talk to anyone. We're disagreeing to some extent about how much stuff to have on hand - he grew up in a household that stockpiled everything and I was the opposite so I'm all for having a few weeks of supplies handy but he wants to buy all the things. It's all just a lot...
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@Miss Ariel: All of this made crack up. Ah the glamorous life of a working mom!
@Mrs. Carrot: I so relate to a lot of this!
Every day I wake up with a positive attitude: THIS is the day I'll be excited to spend time with my kids and we'll do all the cute things that I see all over the internet AND I'll work out and make all my calls.
Hasn't happened yet and I'm totally beating myself up every night. Really helps to know I'm not alone so thanks everyone for commiserating! -
Is anyone else starting to get really strong "Groundhogs Day" vibes?
Good times. It has helped me with staying off the news, so I'm not so all in on the daily changes. It makes my life less overwhelming too. I fully expect that we will not be returning to school on 3/30 as originally planned. I'm not sure how I will sustain on this path. It's hard to be productive.
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