Hellobee Boards

1) no, I was adamant about it before he was born. Then LO absolutely refused to sleep unless he could touch someone.
2) 23 months
3) he's in our bed. When he started to crawl my husband taught him how to get off the bed safely. He still tells us, "feet first" when he gets out of bed. Before he mastered getting out of bed safely one of us would nap with him or stay in the bedroom and read/work.
4) my SO is supportive. In the beginning both of us resented cosleeping. I was touched out and SO missed having my attention. But about three months in we liked it. We've tried to move him to his own bed several times but he's not ready yet. My husband likes to remind me that by college he will want his own bed.

1. We planned to room share and I was pretty sure we would bed share but not 100% sure. Turned out I did not like bed sharing until she was around 6 months. She's 10 months now and most nights she starts in her room on a floor bed and wakes up about an hour after bed time to come to our room.

2. She's 10 months now.

3. Mostly floor bed but our bed gets mixed in pretty frequently too. She takes some naps on the go but not a ton, she sleeps better at home.

4. My husband is remarkably on board. When she does an extra long stretch in her room at night he gets antsy about going to sleep without her nearby which I think is cute. Plus she has started to snuggle with him too, whereas for awhile she wanted nothing to do with him at night.

1. We planned to co sleep before DS was born. I read the book "sweet sleep" after it was suggested in the womanly art of breastfeeding. Dh built a sidecar cosleeper that attached to our bed like the arms reach cosleeper. We don't use it, it's easier to have DS in bed with me, he still wakes up 3-4 times to nurse at nights.

2. DS is 2.5 months

3. DS doesn't nap well by himself. Maybe because he's so used to sleeping with me at night. We nap together in the bed or he sleeps in our ssc. We plan to make a floor bed for him when he is older.

4. Dh was very ok board before DS was even born. We swear by bed sharing as we both get a great amount of sleep.

Can I ask a few co-sleeping questions? I think our arrangement is fine right now (not cosleeping), but there are lots of benefits that sound nice to me. And after a long day apart from my girl, I sometimes wish she could be close to me during the night. Here are a few things I've wondered though--

*bedtimes. Does your baby stay up later with you, or do you put her down and join later? Does that wake the baby up?

*crawling/rolling-our baby rolls and scoots and is so busy in her crib. Do they settle differently if cosleeping? Are there concerns about them moving all around?

We co-slept at least part of the night for the first 6-7 months. At first when he was teeny he just wouldn't sleep unless he was being held. The goal was always to get him to sleep independently though. After each feeding he would fall asleep and I'd put him in the PnP next to me. If he woke up I'd try once more and if it didn't work we'd co sleep until the next feeding and try again.

At about 6.5 months we started using the crib in his own room and then we sleep trained. Co sleeping was a huge life saver for us but I'm glad we stopped when we did. Getting a 2 year old out of your bed would be a lot harder than a 7 month old.

With our first I was adamantly opposed to co sleeping. He slept in a pnp in our room for the most part. Ultimately we started co sleeping because he wasn't gaining enough weight and I worked and couldn't be up with him all night. So at 6 months old he came to bed with us. With the new baby (4 months old now), she spent many nights in the rock n play. My son was still in bed with us and it isn't the safest situation. But she prefers sleeping with me. So it's me and the two kids in bed. He is insanely aware of where she is at all times. And in the mornings they cuddle together and I love it.

First child is now 4 years old and baby is 4 months old.

For naps, he does them at school. School has found that the baby is most successful on a mat on the floor than the crib. At home she sleeps on me where I am. He doesn't typically nap but if he does he goes with is into the room and we sneak out when he is asleep.

My husband is now on board . Well he has no say because he isn't here day to day right now. When he joins us here we will be transitioning the oldest to a toddler bed in our room.

Note: my two kids are the most expensive things in my house. The oldest was ivf and cost is 20k. The youngest was iui after failed fets and is likely a similar cost. They will not be in their own rooms until I know they can rescue themselves (likely around 6 years old).

1. Did you plan to cosleep or bedshare? Nope, in fact I said I would never do it. But at about 7-8 months old it was the only way DS1 would sleep through the night. So since then, he's been in the bed with us. I need to sleep so we do what works! I also WOH so I like the extra time I get with the boys. DS2 starts out in his crib and ends up with us too when he wakes up in the middle of the night. DS1 is just with us from the start.
2. How old is your little one? DS1 - about to turn 3; DS2 - 16 months
3. What do you do for naps? My mom watches DS2 so she handles naps. I think he cuddles with her to fall asleep. DS1 naps at school by himself fine.
4. Is your so on board? Yes, he likes having the boys close by. I thought he wouldn't but I was wrong. It's amazing how your views change once you have kids.

Glad to see there are others out there! I still sometimes feel like I'm doing something wrong. I think there are more out there - just no one talks about it.

@Happygal: Now we all go to bed at the same time. My boys are just not good about going to bed! But when DS1 was younger, I would lay with him to go to sleep at around 8:30. After he'd fall asleep I'd leave him on the bed but leave the door open so I could hear for movement. Once asleep, he didn't move much. As far as crawling, I would wake up instantly if he began to crawl - mama's intuition I guess. Then he would just wake me up when he woke up so I didn't have to worry about him falling off.

@brownie: My husband thinks similarly. He really likes having them close by for safety reasons. Eventually I'd like for them to share a room and move upstairs. But that seems so far away. I feel like we will all be sharing space for a while!

Also, we don't have a bed frame, just the mattress and box spring, so it's low to the ground (and on carpet). I'll have to move the night stand once she's mobile (it's got some pointy corners she could fall on), but other than that if she fell off eventually it would just scare her.

ETA- I can't imagine how bad my anxiety levels would be if she weren't in our room. Even with an angel care monitor or something similar, it would freak me out. I'm loads better than I was when she was tiny (bringing home a preemie is scary!), but I still need her nearby at all times.

1. Did you plan to cosleep or bedshare?
I kind of knew it would happen, since I was raised in a bedsharing family!
2. How old is your little one? she is 2
3. What do you do for naps? she sleeps on the couch next to me, while I (or whoever is watching her, usually DH or MIL) get some TV time!
4. Is your so on board? for the most part! he does look forward to her sleeping in her own toddler bed, but i'm not ready for that yet. ha.

@Happygal:

Maybe consider a side car arrangement?

I put ours to sleep first then join later. By then she is in a deep sleep and doesn't wake up.

She sometimes moves a lot on her crib mattress. But she barely moves at all on our mattress. I think it is more comfortable for her.

1. Did you plan to cosleep or bedshare?
We planned to co-sleep but ended up bed sharing. LO was pretty small at birth, so we were doing lots of skin-to-skin time. Initially, she would sleep on my chest. Around 1.5 mo I started putting her on the bed and side nursing. She doesn't really wake to nurse, she just roots a bit for my breast, latches and pulls off when she's done (usually 5 min). This is such a minor disturbance to my sleep that I don't care how many times a night she nurses. It would be way more difficult to go through the full wakeup that sleeping in another room, or even co-sleeping would entail. Also, I start my night's sleep when my LO does, around 8pm. This means I fet to enjoy her longest stretch of sleep unconcious!

2. How old is your little one?
3.5 months

3. What do you do for naps?
She sleeps in my arms. I've tried moving her to the crib with very limited success. I'll keep trying gradually. I'm not interested in nap training or an all-or-nothing switch at this early age.

4. Is your so on board?
Yes, because he realizes that bed sharing keeps me rested and sane! The hardest thing for him has been my early bed time, but I think he's come to appreciate the few extra hours on his own to catch up on work or watch crappy movies.

1. Did you plan to cosleep or bedshare?
We planned on bed sharing from the beginning. We bought a crib as well but had no plans as to when we would want to use it. #2 is due soon and we plan on bed sharing with him as well.

2. How old is your little one?
She turned two in August, and has been in our bed full time since she was born. I don't anticipate it changing in the near future.

3. What do you do for naps?
When she was little I would surround her with pillows so she wouldn't roll off, and/or stay with her. She learned to safely get off the bed at a young age.

4. Is your so on board?
He loves waking up to have her there, especially since he sees little of her during the work week. When I suggested transitioning to her own bed a year ago he protested.

Bed sharing has worked well for our family. It was super convenient when I was nursing. We like to sleep together, so why would I expect my child to sleep alone?

I was a little scared to admit that my 3 year sleeps with us still!

1. We did not plan this.
2. 3 years old, my other LO who is 7 months doesn’t co-sleep with us.
3. He doesn’t nap.
4. Yup he’s a softy!

@Torchwood:

As long as it's working for you, go with it! It's what's most important.

1. We planned on room sharing until 6 months, but not bedshare. WELL, he was in the bassinett/RnP/now PnP, but he wakes up so many times a night, and bedsharing has helped that.
2. 5.5 months
3. Swing
4. No. He's not comfortable with it at all, but we have a king bed and I am able to keep LO away from SO. He was never bothered by MOTN wakeups and since I nurse, it didn't affect him. If his sleep were affected, I think he'd have a different attitude.