http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/05/dads-who-do-dishes-raise-ambitious-daughters.html
What do you think?
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I sent this to my husband last night and he got really insulted. Oops.
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@septca: LOL! DD already knows that DH's job is to wash dishes.
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Makes sense to me. If you have traditional gender roles at home, it's probably difficult for children to envision otherwise. The whole "lead by example" thing.
Hell, even if mom works, how many people say their husbands don't pitch in around the house?....happens a lot
@Septca, lol, DH said "we gotta teach her right!"
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We def defy some traditional gender roles at home since DH is the main cook and I'm the main breadwinner. I grew up in a more traditional household, but I never felt like I had to live the same way. My mom never told me if I didn't learn how to cook I'd never land a man
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I can see this! My dad was very hands-on with the house hold chores and he almost ALWAYS did the dishes, and now I'm an engineer!! I should thank him!
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I can see how it miiight make sense. Didn't apply to me though.
"Dads who equally divided the drudgery of household chores with their wives tended to have daughters whose “when I grow up” aspirations were less gender-stereotypical..."
I grew up in a pretty gender-stereotypical household, and chose to work in Construction. I would say that's pretty out of stereotype for a woman. My sister is definitely defying gender stereotypes as well, supporting a SAHM dad. -
Love it! Especially this "So, dads, do the damn dishes already"
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I can see this. Dad was very involved around the house though he tended to do more traditionally male-stereotyped chores - yard work and so on, but still cooked a couple of times a week, washed up etc. More importantly, my sister and I were taught how to do yard work and fix things around the house and my brothers were taught how to do the laundry, ironing, vacuuming and vice versa.
I think it shows in our careers, which are pretty diverse, and in our relationships. It also paid off for our parents because none of us ever brought laundry home for Mum to do when we were in college.
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This does not hold true for me. My parents split the chores pretty evenly since my dad is a super neat freak, but I chose to be a teacher, a "stereotypical female job". But I understand what the article is trying to say, and I definitely think sharing the workload sends a better message.
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I think it makes sense. Even more than in career choice I wonder if it has an impact on choice of partner and/or willingness to let men get away with murder (housework-wise). My dad definitely did the dishes, and cooked, and cleaned house on a regular basis (even though my mom was a SAHM). I definitely expect my partner to do all those things too; and if he didn’t, he’d be getting a swift kick to the backside to step up!
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I can see the point of the study, though I don't think it was true in my case. I know this is sort of off the point, but one thing that bugs me a teeeeny tiny bit is the headline's use of "ambitious" to = jobs contrary to gender stereotype. Just a little pet peeve because I think we've truly reached where we need to be when our girls are learning that whatever they want to be--whether it's a SAHM, teacher, doctor, or engineer-- they should pursue it with passion and drive, be the best they can be at it, and not let anyone stand in their way. Off my soapbox now...
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@Mrs. Blue: YES YES YES. This is what I was going to say. As if going to school to be a teacher is any less ambitious. Going to college in general should be the desired outcome, or the desire to excel, learn, grow, etc. I don't like the idea that women can't be feminists if they choose "traditional gender roles" BY CHOICE.
I am going to school to be a nurse- a predominantly female field. Does that mean I'm not a feminist? No. It means I AM a feminist because I get the choice to go to school and have the choice to join the workforce.
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I sent my husband the article. His response?
"Based solely on reading the title, M will be the highest paid woman in the world." -
The concept makes a lot of sense, but I think the way parents treat each other and the ways they treat their children have more to do with this than who does the dishes. My husband is very hands on - around the house and with our daughter, but I would really prefer that he *not* do the dishes. I am very territorial when it comes to the kitchen.
But I'm also a lawyer and make the same amount of money as my husband.
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My dad was very involved in the household (despite my mom being a stay at home mom) and I work in a traditionally male dominated field as a financial advisor so this rings true for me. I'll have to send this to my husband and see what he thinks...
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Ineed the equivalent of this article but for boys. I'd love to get my husband to start doing dishes. As it stands he is more likely to use my measuring cupsfor his morning coffee than he is to actually watch god damn dish!
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@Mrs. Pen: @Mrs. Blue: I do think it would be an important next step to ask the girls WHY they picked a certain profession. Do they identify their own strengths and the things that make them happy and put those together to choose a field (which very well may be teaching or nursing, etc). Or are they answering "because that's what my mom does" or "because that's what girls grow up to be", etc.
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@MamaMoose: Agreed.
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Meh, not true for me. My parents maintained "traditional" roles and I chose a career in a male dominated industry. My father, to this day, does not know that you can not use bleach in a load of dark clothing without ruining them. I don't see how him washing dishes would have changed my career path, since it was actually he who introduced me to the world of finance when he bought me my pink plastic piggy bank.
On another note, many of us don't know that jobs that are historically done by women can be categorized as pink collar jobs. In Asia, it's actually women that historically worked in finance type jobs, not men, so it's just a good example of what's going on in the US is not necessarily a good benchmark.
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@MamaMoose: I do agree with this!
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@looch: FACT: I do not know that you can use bleach in a load of dark clothes and not ruin them.
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@MamaMoose: Heck, once I poured bleach into a load of darks (i was studying for my Series 7 at the laundromat) and nothing happened. but my dad asked me repeatedly last week if he should add bleach to the dark loads. I told him 3 times, no, he shouldn't and he still did it, ruining my son's shorts!
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@Mrs. Blue: I definitely agree.
My mom raised my mostly by herself. When she remarried, her and her husband mostly spit the household chores. But, I'm a teacher. I chose to be a teacher mostly because I wanted better hours for raising a family than my mom had, who is a restaurant manager. I like kids and teaching and this job gives me the most time with my family, while still working full time and getting good benefits.
Now, though, my husband does the dishes 99% of the time. He cooks about half the time and we share the other household chores. He also does most of the yard work. I spend more time with Liam, but that's usually because I work less hours and am home more. Of course the article isn't perfect, but I do think that kids are absorbing everything we do, all the time and little things can have a big impact on their choices later in life.
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Lol I sent my husband the article and this was his response:
And sons who carry purses and push strollers.
He's referring to this picture, taken on Memorial Day at our friend's house who has a 2.5 year old girl.
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@yoursilverlining: Totally agree with you. My dad did his fair share of the housework/parenting duties (at least 50% if not more!), so that's definitely something I looked for in a partner. If this study is true then my DD is going to be hella ambitious!
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@mrs. tictactoe: hahaa I love it. J loves pink too! He is drawn to it. I don't discourage him but I feel badly that society will soon enough.
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@lawbee11: same. I looked for those same traits and an egalitarian household was very important to me!
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@Mrs. Blue: agree completely! Girls need to be raised to choose jobs/careers that make them happy...it is not a failure or step back for women to choose professions like teaching or nursing.
Didn't read the article but I'm sure it's less to do with whether Dad does the dishes/housework and more about how the parents treat their daughters - are they treated as fragile flowers incapable of being physically and mentally challenged and encouraged to only play dress up and care about being pretty and kind ladies...or do the parents let their daughters explore all kinds of learning opportunities and encourage them to love sports, building/engineering, math and science. My husband doesn't do much housework bc I love being a SAHM (after being a lawyer for 7 years) but he does a ton of other household chores and is heavily involved in parenting LO. Just bc he doesn't do the dishes regularly doesn't make me think for a minute that LO won't be an ambitious woman
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Very cool
It was definitely true in my house- my dad always did the dishes and I have always been quite ambitious! Guess what my husband is doing right now while I am typing this I don't do dishes.
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@Adira: same! Doctor here and my dad was the primary domestic person :).
It was definitely true in my house- my dad always did the dishes and I have always been quite ambitious! Guess what my husband is doing right now while I am typing this Reply
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