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Nanny if you can afford it! But that's just what I would do if I had to decide. I was a nanny for 7 years and I actually planned a lot of activities for the kids. I think not having to lug kids anywhere would be so nice. Especially during the winter months!

I've done both and prefer daycare hands-down. It's more work, but there are SO many pro's that it's really hard for a nanny to compete with especially when kids get older and more interactive. And you mention drop-off and pick-up take a long time, but with a nanny I found this was even worse. I've had two nannies who don't have any family at home and they would NOT leave my house when I got home, even when I asked them to. In my opinion the only upside to a nanny is that you don't have to take PTO days constantly every time there is a fever. If you have crazy work schedules this would be a huge upside. But with daycare I can take a PTO day and drop DS off and just relax at home or go shopping. Plus it is way more affordable, not just on a monthly or weekly tuition vs. salary basis, but also with a nanny you have to pay for a lot of activities so they have places to go during the day.

We've done both and I prefer daycare. He's learned a lot more. Also, it may not bother some people but I found it stressful to have my house clean enough for a "guest" every day. I didn't want her to judge us for a messy house but it felt like a lot of pressure. I also like the accountability and oversight at a daycare. I feel confident in his safety because there are many other people there to make sure things are running appropriately.

I've done both and vastly prefer daycare. Staying at home even while going on playdates is not fun and educational enough. My kids learn so much at daycare from real teachers. Also, I had a nanny who always needed time off for her or her kids and it was a scramble to cover those days. Daycare is never closed.

I think it really depends on age and temperament/personality. My son is 1 years old and he's been at home with me, DH, and my mom since birth. Now that I'm back to work 3 days a week, he's with my mother those 3 days, whom we hired as our nanny.

He's gone to the park every morning for about an hour since 7 months old. Since 11 months he's also been going to church nursery once a week on Sundays during service. This works for us because DS is pretty introverted and gets overwhelmed/overstimulated with too many new people at once. I don't think daycare would have been a good fit for him as an infant. Also, we really dislike the illness factor. So far, he's had 2-3 mild colds in his first year and that has been annoying as it is, I cannot imagine things like HFM or worse.

I guess I just don't feel like kids need that much stimulation until they are toddlers? In the next year, we plan to add one or two classes, like swim lessons (because he loves the water) or tumbling, which are Mommy and Me type classes, but with other people too, which will ease him into more socialization.

As he gets older - like after 2 years - he will need a little more socialization than we can provide at home. I think at that point we'll find him some early preschool type programs a few mornings a week and take it from there.

And yes, the pros of having a nanny are great. I leave straight for work in the morning after kissing DS good morning, he gets his schedule respected, I don't think or worry about him while I'm at the office, he's having his dinner or a snack when I get home, I don't have to worry about his meals, and no illness! My mom helps with laundry, cooks us dinner once while she's here, and puts DS to bed for us so we can take a date night once a week. Its wonderful!

DH and I work long hours and we chose nanny because we already stay up to get work done after the kids go to bed, I can't imagine staying up even later to wash and prep bottles and pack lunch. Also, our time with our kids is so limited during the week I just want to come straight home and play with them not spend time in the car with them. We do have DD1 in a preschool two mornings per week for socialization (she's 2.5) it's a hard decision, you just have to decide what's most important to you. I wish we could all have the best of both worlds.

We love our nanny. She's very organized and structured so the kids get the best of structured and free play. The kids both get a ton of love and they are learning Spanish (our nanny is from Mexico). I get far more details about how their day went and she will send me pictures/videos during the day sometimes.

We also have a ton of flexibility with our nanny which is essential for us.

So I haven't done either... but... I used to think a nanny was ideal. I was actually talking about a nanny share with a friend of mine so we could afford it. But now that I've been a SAHM for 1.5 years I actually feel like daycare would be better. I mean presumably I, as her mom, should be better than a nanny, right? And I actually feel guilty that my kid isn't in daycare. I feel like I do as much as I can with her at home but she really misses out on interaction. It may be a personality thing though. My LO clearly looooves other kids and we go to the park most days. She follows other kids around on the park and I'm like... aw I wish you could play with them all day! I just think she'd have more fun in daycare than she has at home with me all day honestly. So when I go back to work I think daycare is definitely the choice unless something changes.

@MrsH: my LO isn't in daycare, but I will say she definitely talks a lot less in a big group that she does at home or just with one or two other kids. It's not even a shy thing, I think there is just a lot going on and she takes it all in, where at home she just chatters to me or to herself constantly. So that could be part of it.

And I see the pros and cons of each. As a SAHM, I see a lot of kids with their nannies at different activities and the playground, and they seem very well socialized and active. But the ones I see, of course, are ones who are going out to story time and music class and the playground. I'm sure there are others that do less and the kids would like more socialization.

@yerpie110: Not until 18 mo? Dang, my LO must be hypersocial! She can't even focus on swinging at the park if big kids are there because she just wants to watch them. She loooooves being around other kids. Even though I doubt she actually plays "with" them. Leave it to my very introverted self to have a very extroverted offspring That sounds like you have a really awesome setup, I wish I could find a great daycare that did parttime like that, most of the good ones around us are full time or nothing. We have a temp spot right now for MWF but will likely have to pay for a full spot once we get off the waitlist for our permanent spot. Gah.

@MenagerieMama: Haha, it's more like me being too lazy to take her out That's flexibility for both school and nanny is key, and we certainly feel lucky! Hope it works out for you guys!

@MrsH: I totally feel you as I have the same struggle! I keep leaning towards center b/c it's easier to find than nanny! Since I have some time tho, I'm still mulling over this... I was thinking maybe getting a nanny that has her own kid to bring over so there's some socialization!? Or an in-home daycare close by that has a few other kids but not full-blown daycare...

Oh man, this depends on so many personal factors. For us, having a nanny was the only practical option. I need to have flexibility in my schedule and day care couldn't accommodate that at all. Plus, in my area, nannies are so abundant that it was actually easier to find a great nanny than a daycare with an open slot. As for socialization, I have no worries about this at all. My nanny was hugely proactive in this area and reached out to her nanny network to find kids my daughter's age so they meet up with at least one other kid for a play date almost every day. And they go to classes and story time together. For me, it was really important to me that my daughter was in the comfort of her own home while she was little - I'm not sure why, but I was obsessed with her nap time and making sure she was able to nap in her own cribs. She's almost 2 now, so this isn't as important to me, but it was definitely on my mind when she was an infant. Now that we are expecting her another LO in November, I love that our nanny will be around to help out as needed during my maternity leave and that she'll get to know LO2 and her routine well before I have to go to work.