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@irene: My response was not demeaning. It simply re-framed the facts you provided for the purposes of asking a question based on those facts, i.e., is half an hour worth relationship stress. The answer could very well be yes (for any number of reasons), or the answer could be no, or the answer could be making a few changes at night/in the morning--and in so doing, not need to wakeup earlier--so that you are able to meet the 7:30 target time.
Moreover, my schedule is what it is. I didn't post it to *demean* what you/others are doing or not doing.
And with that, I'm out.
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@MsLipGloss: This was kinda my point too. If DH needs to leave by 7:30, I would think that would be plenty of time to get LO up and ready.
@irene: I think you just need to adjust even 15 minutes earlier, or find what you can do more efficiently to change so that you have LO ready to go by 7:30. It shouldn't be too bad.
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I am with you all. I am trying to change. For some reason that half an hour is very difficult to me. And it has been a struggle. I don't know why. Hearing your schedules of 5am wake ups motivates me. Thank you.
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@irene: good luck, we're definitely rooting for you!!!
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I would suggest considering what can be done different. Someone else (@littlek, I believe) pointed out that her son eats at school. My daughter does as well. We pay an extra $2/day for her to do so, but it's so worth the convenience and lack of stress in the morning for us. What does breakfast look like at your house for LO? Maybe you can simplify what you are "prepping". What are you doing in the first 30 minutes of your morning?
Our schedule looks like this:
6:05 - I'm getting in the shower
6:35 - I'm getting my hair done (I like to let it airdry some before I get out the dryer).
6:40 - DH is getting in the shower
7:00 - if LO isn't already awake she's getting woke up
7:25 - I'm loading LO into my car, DH kisses us both goodbye and we all head out for the day.By 7:00 me and DH are both dressed and ready for work. From that point until we leave, I get LO dressed and her hair done. He helps with her morning allergy medicine, vitamin and teeth brushing. Unless she demands Momma do it! We both carry our breakfast with us to eat in the car or at our desks at work. LO eats her breakfast at school. I tend to do more of the care for LO in the morning which is why I get up first.
DH does the evening pick up and takes LO for a walk. She eats dinner by herself (we sit with her but don't eat). Her dinner is either leftovers from our dinner or something that we can put together quickly. If I'm home in the evening before their walk is over I'll get her dinner ready otherwise DH will do it. We put her to bed together and then DH makes our dinner while I do things around the house. It's not ideal and often means we are eating at 8:00 or later. We put LO down at about 7:30 in the evening. I should also mention she's over 2.
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DH has to be at work by 8am MWF so he doesn't help out with mornings on those days. On Tuesdays he helps out and Thursdays i work from home.
She goes to bed at 8pm. I wake up at around 6;30am when LO wakes up. It's really hard for me to get ready before she wakes up and i totally get how hard it is getting up 30 minutes early. I'll do a quick nursing session, change her diaper, feed her, change her and try to get ready in between all of those things. We are usually out the door by 7:50am, and get to daycare anywhere from 8:20-8:30am. My office is just above her daycare so that's why i do the drop-offs.
Kudos to all those moms who have to wake up at 5am. Crazy.
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This morning looks like this:
6:20am my alarm goes off
6:35am wake up (yes, I have issues). Fried egg, get milk in cup, reheat pancakes/bread..etc. in toaster oven (5 minutes)
6:43am If I have time, I'd shower
6:50am Wake LO, who usually takes a few minutes to wake.
Diaper change, brush teeth, change clothes, wipe face. (all these with a lot of twists and turns and "no no" and "car" ie he wants to play with his cars...etc.)7:05am Breakfast for LO, while I pack his bags (put the dried cups, plastic bib, lunch pack into the bag), and start washing and cleaning up
7:30am Somehow he's still eating. He is a very laid back boy who has very little sense of urgency. I was washing his hands while he was still playing with/eating a piece of bread.
7:35am. He pooped. DH got mad and said I have to take him to school. "School bus" has left.
7:45am. Changed his diaper, leaves the house.
So I guess I should wake LO at 6:30am? As I said I feel bad having to wake him in the morning, but in a way, I hate to put him to bed at 6:30pm because it just doesn't quite work with our life. Anyhoo. I guess I'll have to wake him at 6:30am.
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@MamaG: Breakfast at school is not an option.... unfortunately... they do have a morning snack at 8:30am but it is really just snack (cheerios, crackers..etc.)
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@irene: So I know you don't want to get into it with your husband, but is there anyway he could wake up and even just play or let LO watch TV for a few minutes around 6:45? That way he would be more "ready to go" by the time he's eating?
Our daycare serves a light breakfast (fruit and a starch) around 8:30 which is too late for LO too. But daycare is fine with us bringing our own food for her to eat there (usually its just free play in the mornings anyways). So we drop her off and she sits down to eat her cup of yogurt or whatever at school. By that point she is pretty hungry and ready to go.
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@irene: I hate it when they poop right before you have to leave!!
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@Irene: A couple of questions and suggestions:
1) Is there any activity that DH could supervise in the morning to take some burden from you (perhaps he could sit with your son while he eats)?
2) If your son wants to play with his cars, can you give him one to hold/play with while you are changing his diaper and dressing him so there is less of a struggle? We do this with LO and it makes a huge difference.
3) Since it takes LO a bit to wake up, could you go into his room and turn the lights on give him his car in his bed and then walk out to make his breakfast or get a quick shower while he spends time quietly playing and waking on his own?
4) Maybe talk to your son about whats ahead of him for the day to get him excited about getting out the door. This might help him move at a better pace.
These are all suggestions based on your previous post and things that we have had to incorporate into our morning. I don't like to start our day out stressed but we all need to be out the door at 7:30 for it be a successful day for our family.
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@irene: Still baking this baby, so I don't have to wake up at these hours yet. But….
If the bus leaves at 7:30, then I say he pooped on the bus and the driver can deal with it. Pack his diaper bag with an extra (because you know he has routine of a 7:30/7:40 diaper change) and then let the bus driver deal with it. If you have him ready and out the door at 7:29, then it's on him, you did your part and he was set to go by 7:30. -
@irene: Yea, so we aren't up at 5am. It takes us right at an hour in the morning.
Our schedule looks like this:
7am- I'm up shower, get makeup on, dressed, etc
7:30- take the dogs out- DH get OOB and gets hisself ready
7:35- get LO up and dressed. unless she is already awake
7:45- she goes in the high chair with some pancakes or dry cereal and her cup of milk (she will eat a bigger breakfast as soon as she gets to daycare.
7:50- make my lunch- grab breakfast to eat on the road
7:55- out of the door - DH leaves 5-10 min after I do and takes her to daycare.Our key is to get her dressed and plot her right in the high chair to eat. If we dawdle around, time gets away from us!
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No one has mentioned this yet I don't think, but daylight savings time does start this Sunday you know. So if you started getting up at 6am you'd actually feel like you were getting up half an hour LATER! This could be just what you need to get you adjusted to the new schedule.
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@irene: Can you bring a breakfast to school for him to have there? Our daycare only provides cereal type stuff for breakfast, but if LO won't eat breakfast at home (she's like me apparently and doesn't like to eat when she first wakes up!), I just scramble her an egg or grab some yogurt and bring that. You can even scramble an egg the night before.
LO goes to bed at 8pm.
Wake up between 6:30-6:45.
My husband takes LO downstairs and gets her set up with breakfast while I shower/do my hair, then we switch (LO takes *forever* to eat, so I do my makeup downstairs with her while DH showers).
We leave the house between 7:25-7:45.
Her daycare is on the campus on my employer, so I don't have to account for commute time between daycare and my work, and I can get to work anytime I feel like, and my commute is only 25 minutes.
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@irene: I'm NOT a morning person at all so I totally feel you. Some people are AM people, some are not. I wake up at 7am and if I woke at 6:30am, it would make a big difference to me in terms of productivity. I'd rather sleep an extra 30 minutes and cut something else out! Our morning schedule looks like this:
7AM: Both DH and I wake up, shower, get ready
7:30: Wake up both kids, brush teeth, change clothes, change DD's diaper
7:45: Breakfast for both kids.
8:05: Leave for preschool. If my son isn't done with his breakfast, he eats it in the car (I know a lot of moms aren't ok with this. But if your DH doesn't mind, is this an option? If my son is eating toast or waffles, I cut it into pieces and put it in a snack bag so that he can eat it in the car)It's hard finding motiviation to wake up early. Maybe look for something in the middle. Like wake up 15 mins early and find a way to cut out 15 mins in your routine. I find that often times, it's just a mind game (just "knowing" that it's 6AM feels SO early).
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@Mae: Great point!!
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@T.H.O.U.: Eh, husband gets up at, 7:04am. He has no responsibilities other than getting himself ready by 7:30am. So no.
@Freckles: Isn't that the worst?! hahaa
@banana: Thank you. Finally someone understands. Yes that half an hour made a world of difference. I guess I have to suck it up.
@Mae: I know, I know. That means I technically have to get up at 4am afterall haha.
ETA: Oh wait a minute, we get up 1 hour later instead of 1 hour earlier? Ohhhh!!@indi: Oh cherish the time when your baby is still in the belly! Those were the sweet times I slept until 8:30am (I have no restrictions then because I have all the freedom to work from 9-6, like a normal person)!! Sob sob.
But no, if LO poops in the car when we were driving to school (either husband of myself), we can't change him because there is just no time. The best we could do is tell the teacher he pooped, but I doubt they do anything about it until 9am.
@yoursilverlining: Yes we could bring a breakfast to replace the 8:30am snack. I tried it before, but it just didn't work very well. LO is a slow eater and the snack time is quick. So turns out he doesn't get to eat anything. Before the 8:30am snack, it is mostly free time so they won't be sitting down to eat. (Teachers wouldn't lay things out for just one child, which is understandable)
@MamaG:
(1) no, husband wakes at 7am.
(2) Yes that what I do. The problem is not that. He runs away to the cars when he supposed to brush his teeth. Or read a book when we supposed to go downstairs...etc. I am not complaining. Just that it gets tiring when you have to do that in a time crunch every morning.
(3) He wants his milk in bed the first thing he wakes up. And I haven't tried walking out and do other stuff when he wakes. Maybe I could try that at 6:30am. Just hurts me when I have to wake a perfectly sleeping child...
(4) That's what I do, he doesn't care hahaThanks for your suggestion! I'll definitely try waking him up earlier and let him wake a bit while I do other things. That's a great point.
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@irene: I would be so annoyed if DH didn't help me but was complaining about being late. I let DH off the hook on days he has to leave by 7:15, but on the other days i ask him to help me.
I don't really see how you can do things more efficiently since you seem to be doing a good job now. I would also HATE to wake up LO. I sometimes sacrifice getting to work on time so she can get extra sleep, but i'm lucky in that i don't have to deal with bad traffic.
Next week will be better because of daylight savings!
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Good lord.... I don't even have kids yet and sleeping in until 6:30 am seems like a luxury! I hope you figure out the schedule. I think the person with the most flexibility in their day always unfortunately needs to do the most bending.
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@MrsMcD: Haha, agreed! 6am is sleeping in for me and no LOs present! Yikes.
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My alarm goes off at 5:10 am, I go wake up LO (12 months old) change her diaper, nurse her until between 5:30-5:40, bring her downstairs, give her breakfast which she feeds herself, at 5:50 I bring her into the living room and put on her clothes for the day (selected and brought down the night before) and she brushes her teeth herself with a baby toothbrush. Then it's hugs and she is out the door by 6 am with Dad.
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@LemonLong: out the door by 6 am?! Truly impressive!!!!
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@irene: you said, "I just need to deal with the fact that 5:50am is the new 6:20am. That's all. And again, I am here to find motivation."
The good news is, with daylight saving time on Sunday, if you start now, you're ahead of the game. If you pretend that you didn't gain an hour, you'll have a full hour of extra time in the AM! Win win! Your husband gets to sleep in and leave at 7:30, like he wants to and you get that extra time to get ready that you were looking for!
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@irene: How old is your son (sorry if I missed it already)?
I will fully admit that this was a struggle for me at one point because DH's only concern was getting himself ready and out the door. I reminded him that he was just as much a parent to our kiddo and it wasn't fair to expect me to always be the one doing everything for her. Admittedly, I'm controlling and like to pick her clothes out and do her hair and I'm horrible at asking for help. But I've learned through my own stress that I need to ask him for help and he knows that my expectation is that if I ask that he step in and do what's asked as long as I'm being reasonable.
We aren't big on tv for our daughter, BUT, morning is one time she does get to watch it. There are mornings when she wakes up early and throws the routine off. She gets set in bed with DH. He pulls up an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the DVR and they snuggle. This works for us. Just another idea for you.
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@irene: Is your husband willing to help in the evening? Also, if you have no alternative and must wake up earlier, then maybe try waking up earlier in 10 minutes increments over a period of time, so that it's less painful?
The reason I mention that is that I am on my own every morning with both our boys because DH leaves while they are still sleeping. Our deal - which only developed after months of me trying to do it all - is that since I do the entire morning routine, he does the entire night routine. He's responsible for bath time, pjs/lotion, all of it. For us, it balances things out so there isn't any resentment {from me doing it all} and he also gets to bond with DS.
My am schedule:
5:30 - wake up, shower, get ready, do stuff around the house
6:25 - DH gets up/ready
7:00 - DH leaves
7:10 - oldest gets up/ready, has breakfast
7:30 - youngest gets up and I get him ready {eats at daycare}
7:50 - out the door for school, daycare, and work -
When I was working I got up at 530 - same time my son naturally woke up for the day (with a 730 pm bedtime). My husband couldn't help because he left for work at 545. It was brutal but I just viewed it as life as a working mom. Sorry!
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Since you are looking for routines, here's ours (I have almost 1 year old twins)-
6:15- one kid wakes up, DH gets her and brings her in for me to nurse, then he takes a shower.
6:30- I put the first one back, grab the second one if he's awake (which is usual) and nurse him. He goes back in the crib when he's done. Sometimes they go back to sleep, sometimes not.
6:45- I shower, do my hair, dress, and put stuff in the car.
7:15- change diapers, get dressed, put them in the car. They eat breakfast at daycare.
7:30- drive away.PS- they go to bed at 8pm (at the LATEST).
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@mediagirl: That's the plan! haha!
@MamaG: 21 months. It is not a matter of I don't ask for help, it is a matter of he won't help. Again pointless to get into details or it gives me headaches.
@shinymama: No, it's all me 95% of the time. Thanks for sharing the schedule!
Thanks again for all the sharing!
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Irene, first of all, hugs. It's never fun to feel like you aren't being supported.
Second, here's the boring part
My alarm goes off at 6am. I'm usually already up (DS likes to be at 5:30. Every morning I die a little when he wakes up. I get over it quick though. Once, I'd like to wake up on my own.)
*add playtime/books/running amok if extra time*
I shower at night.
When he gets up, I lie on the floor and let him run around till I feel alive. (Not more than 10 minutes). Then I change him and grab any extra diapers for daycare.
For work, I sometimes put on makeup or do something in the bathroom that somehow takes 10 minutes. I give him a toy and sometimes have to keep him out of the trash/tub/toilet.
Then I bring him to my room and get dressed and hope he doesn't eat my shoes or the baby monitor.
By 6 30 we eat. By 6 45 we are usually done. Then we brush our teeth and play for 15 minutes because we need the 15 minutes of safety factor to be out by 7:05.My husband sometimes gets up at 6 20 and that makes getting ready harder because I have to not need the bathroom at the same time.
On the weekend, even if he is up at 5, I can't seem to get out the door till 8. Hmm.
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Are you having trouble getting up in the morning because you aren't getting enough sleep? What time are you getting to bed at night, and I mean fully shutting off with the lights off and laying in bed?
I get up at 5:15, but bear in mind I am in bed by 8 most nights. That means I don't watch TV and I really don't stay out doing errands after my son goes to bed.
Mornings are very stressful for me, so my husband and I came up with a plan to help, which means my husband gets my son dressed. It takes all three of us an hour to get out the door and I do a ton at night/on weekends to prep. I can't be fooling around packing bags at 6 am. Just doesn't work for us!
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@looch: Yes, we (the adults) don't go to bed until at least 10:30. That would be an early day... Nowadays I don't sleep until 11/12-ish.
I think there is two problems for me. (1) I do not do well with "dark mornings" - meaning I'd just want to stay in bed for as long as possible when it is all dark outside. I am hoping this will improve next week with daylight savings time. (2) To me, anytime before the word "6:30am" is at night. hahahaha. It doesn't motivate me to get up if it is 6:25. I would fall right back to sleep if the clock shows "5:50". Bear in mind that I also went through the times of of wakings+ feedings at 2am, 4am, and 5:45am baby is up for good...etc. Maybe that's why I clung to this concept even more dearly when we finally got through the hoop.
With that said, this morning was a success. I got up at 6:23am. shower. turn on the lights in LO's room and open his door (and he's still snoring, poor thing, the hardest for me is to wake him up). Make breakfast and all kinds of noise. Bring milk up at 6:35am (he's still sleeping when I walk in) and he was a bit upset but OK. Did all the chores, go downstairs and eat breakfast by 6:50. Finished by 7:15. Pooped at 7:20. Changed and out of the door and it was 7:25.
Let's see if I can keep it up. !!!!
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Like others have mentioned maybe you need to go to bed earlier? I know I feel the best with 8-9 hours of sleep - I go to bed btwn 9 and 930 and wake at 6am
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@irene: awesome job!!!
I am also a night owl and adjusting to an earlier bedtime was one of the hardest parts of parenting for me! There's software that you can install on your computer that will lower your monitor brightness at night and that really helped me…
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@irene: I am struggling with the dark mornings as well, the floodlights go on when we leave our house, it's that dark! I feel like we are refugees escaping in the middle of the night some times.
That's great it went well! My son was also an early riser, like up for 5 for the day, so I get it! Now I have to wake him up and it kills me, but for now, this is how it has to be!
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@irene: AWESOME!!!!
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LO is 18 months
5:30a she wakes up. DH or I goes get her and she comes into bed with us
6:00a up for the day, she plays in bed while we ignore the alarm
6:30a up for the day! I change LO for the day usually while DH takes dog out. Then DH takes LO and feeds her breakfast, gets her daycare bag ready while I shower
7:05a I'm done getting ready and make our coffees.
7:20a out the door or we're late! DH drops me off at the train then takes LO to daycare. Then he goes home and gets ready for work. His work day starts at 10a.5:00p we are home. DH works till 9pm 3 nights a week so those nights I fly solo. Give LO a snack. make dinner.
6:00p dinner time
6:30/7:00p bath time. If DH is home one of us bathes her and the other finishes dishes from dinner
7:00/7:30p bed time***
I make breakfast to freeze over the weekend. Sometimes LO has to eat breakfast in the car on the way to daycare. I pack our lunches the night before. Finish all dishes the night before. If DH is working that night I do dinner prep for us while LO eats her snack and plays. And I will feed her separately at 6p. -
@irene: Thats great it went well. I know its hard to get up when its dark outside.
Another idea I have heard of is to turn your tv or a light on a morning timer so there is light coming in before you wake up.
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Glad to hear it was a successful morning. I was going to suggest the same as @T.H.O.U., regarding a lamp on a timer. I used to do this when I moved to Texas from the Northeast. I was struggling with the time change and timing of morning light. I had the bedside lamp on a plug in timer and it turned on just a few minutes before my alarm went off. It made waking up in the dark so much easier for me.
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They sell SAD lamps (seasonal affective disorder) that go from dark to bright over the course of maybe 15 mins, ending at the time you set... I wonder if that would help?
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