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You have to limit your husband's screen time. We have a rule of no tv when our daughter is up. Occasionally an exception is made for a sporting event but that's it.

We don't watch tv when the kids are up unless we are all watching something together.

Another family that doesn't have the tv on when ouR LO is up unless we're watching something with her (she gets screentime some but not all days). I actually really relished being able to use having a kid as an excuse to cut down on Tv time bc my DH used to have the tv on all the time when we were at home. We do use our phones and iPads around her but she leaves them alone.

It really shouldn't be solely your job to entertain your kids in ways that don't involve screentime. Your DH should also know that your kid shouldn't be up til 11pm watching Netflix. Sounds like they both need a screentime detox and then explicit limits for your LO.

It's definitely a matter of limiting you DH's screen time. Like others the tv is only on when we are specifically watching something with DD. Our shows and DH's gaming happen when she is sleeping or one of us takes her somewhere else.

I am married to a major gamer. Computer game, ps4, and phone games happen daily for him - but not when DD is around. I would be really mad if I had to constantly keep DD always from whatever screen he was using. He plays during naps on his days off, after she is asleep most nights, and sometimes I take DD out so he can get some play time in.

Honest to goodness truth right now? We were doing ok with background tv and what not for a long time until we weren't. Now it just stays off. We just had to commit to it. It's hard though but so far worth it. We've noticed improvements in our kiddos' behavior!

You had to tell your husband to put your young toddler to bed at 11? That's insanity(!)--he should be a parent with you, not an extra person you have to parent. I would go cold turkey on screen time at least during the week. If anyone needs to go outside for that to be accomplished, it should be your husband, not you and your toddler.

Eta: Limiting screen time to a post-bedtime activity may even encourage your make sure LO gets to bed on time so that he can game/browse the interwebs to his hearts content.

Does your husband not see the issue? I'm annoying, but I would print out studies regarding screen time and development and make him read them. It sounds like your husband needs to either have strict guidelines placed on him or the screens need to just go away. If he's going to act like a child, he will be treated like one. Studies have shown even background TV hinders development and the quality of play. You didn't marry a "gamer," you married a partner who should equally respect your opinion... especially one that is well supported by research.

I disagree about treading lightly, FWIW, but I feel really strongly about the research as it relates to that much screen time. I'm not some kind of crazy screen time person (my son watches the allowable amount by AAP), but I think it's safe to assume that your son had at least 5 hours of screen time yesterday. That is a lot, even for an adult.

@looch: Despite his age indicating that he is, chronologically, an adult, letting a kiddo stay up until 11 watching the tele is not *adult* behavior. I would be willing to tread lightly if, say, it was a half hour past bedtime and LO was still awake watching tv with dad. But 11 pm? And only after my intervention? Yeeeah, not so much. I wouldn't make a scene in front of my kid, but I certainly wouldn't tread lightly with DH afterward (especially in the wake of what seems to be an on-going issue).

I implemented the no TV until after baths and PJs are on. They get to watch a show before bed. My older daughter was becoming a tablet junkie and sneaking away with it (she actually hacked the password on the iPad) so I just put my foot down. I also make DH and I keep our phones away until after girls are in bed (phones were our big issue and it was taking away from family time.)

@looch: I agree that there is no need to be unnecessarily snarky/nasty, but let's face it--subtlety is lost on pretty much every man. (How many times have we (collectively) had a conversation with our spouse/partners in which we ask for help--help that we think should be obvious to any onlooker--but our partner's response is "but you didn't ask me for help [or ask me for *x*]"?) It usually takes being assertive and direct to get a message across--soft-pedaling an issue as important as this one doesn't do anyone any favors. I don't think it needs to be a screaming match or turn into the blame game--but addressing the issue head on (and even incorporating articles/research like @LBee: suggested) is going to be much more effective than waiting for someone to decide that they want to be part of the solution. Because frankly, if I have to intervene at 11 p.m., I don't care if you want to be part of the solution, because if you won't help, and aren't offering an alternative solution, then it's happening whether you want to help me or not.

I would be upset if DH was in charge of bedtime and just completely ignored it.

To try to get kids to go do something else, I will tell them its time for an educational show. I'll put on something like Discovery Earth or Bob Ross or Mr. Roggers. Eventually they get kinda bored and move on to play with toys or whatever. Or they watch and actually learn something! But I tell them Mom picks the show or the TV goes off.

Absolute or cold turkey is really the only way to deal with people who truly have an addiction. If OP's husband is addicted to screen time (which it sounds like he is) and its enough of an issue where they have talked about limiting screen time for their son multiple times (which she said in her post), then I don't see how else you deal with the situation other than having some kind of hard fast rule about screens like "no screens while the kid is up."

If OP's husband wants to stay up super late gaming and chatting on Reddit, that's on him, but absolutes have to come into play with his son if he cannot exercise moderation. If OP's husband gets sucked into his game and doesn't notice the time is 11pm and that his son is still awake watching TV, then he just can't game while the son is awake. Kids bedtimes are earlyish anyway, it seems like not a huge deal to say like the hours of 5pm-8pm are screentime free or whatever.

Yes, chiming in. We can't turn anything on while DS is awake bc if we do he'll whine to watch. Same goes for phones. They actually can't be sitting out while he is awake or he'll ask for videos. It's awful in some respects but nice in others!

DH always needs the TV on like when he sleeps for background music and just always watching something.

He watches it in our bedroom. I was on bed rest for the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy and I can tell you I turned on the TV in my hospital room about 5 times. Granted, I was on my phone or iPad instead of watching TV, but it was so nice to have a quiet room to myself. Maybe it was nesting or relaxation before the twins came.

As for when the twins got here, my MIL would have the TV on when she watched them. After a couple months and seeing my MIL turn their chair around to face the tv to watch cartoons, I knew it was too much. I told her that I wanted the TV off while the babies were awake. I gave her a link to the APA's stance on screen time. She agreed.

Now that they are older, we have started using iPads for travel. Two back to back one week vacations got them hooked and we resorted to them, as well. We are back home and the iPad's will be put away and saved for the longer car rides. Which hopefully will be a few weeks since I'm a bit tired from road trips we've done.

We have the Sonos speakers in the living room, playroom and master bedroom. My husband has it configured so that each room can play different music.

We use either Pandora or Google Play for music. We have certain preset stations that we listen to, my son isn't a fan of kids music, so we're usually playing Sunny Radio (70s hits), George Winston (piano instrumental) or the Ed Sheeran channel. At night, we have this relaxing station set and we listen to it while reading books (instrumental).

As far as rules, there aren't many, to be honest. We don't have cable and only use Netflix or You Tube and that's pretty restricted. My son also has an Amazon Echo Dot in his room and he regularly listens to music in there, his fav is Bruno Mars right now.