Argh. TTC. I hate it!!! I thought I'd love it; I thought it would be a really special, beautiful time in our relationship - a time full of hopes and dreams and intimacy and giggles! You know what it actually is? It's a long, drawn out nightmare in which I have to p1ss repeatedly on my own hands.

The BDing started out ok. The first week after AF, DH made a valiant effort. Of course, I knew that I wasn't fertile at all, but it seemed a little clinical to say "Don't bother, I haven't O'd" and, besides, it was fun! I need to just say, now, that, well, we don't do it very often.....We both work full time, both study part time... and DH has a medical condition which makes him feel very tired and makes his joints ache.... I'd say once a week is really good for us.... So....

By CD13, we were already running out of steam. I was fine with this (the little fellers need time to rejuvenate, after all) and we dropped down to every other day. I was charting and OPKing and knew I hadn't Od so, really, just keeping a small supply of the troops in the ol'tubes was the aim of the game for me!

Well, now I'm on CD22 and I've had +ve OPKs since Saturday (no temp increases). However, to my horror, over the weekend, DH started to give up! I did all the cooking, fetched him anything he wanted, anything just to stop him getting too tired. I ramped it right up, surprised him at different times of the day, tried sexy underwear, the works. Finally, on Sunday night, he gave me the brush off. He was tired. He curled up with a book and I curled up and tried not to cry.

Monday morning, we talked about it and I thought he understood - but then last night I got the brush off again! "But I'm ovulating" I whined. To which he replied, wearily, "Look, I really didn't want to make a big drama out of this baby thing. Why can't we just carry on as normal and let nature take it's course?". I explained, not very calmly at all, that I only had an egg in my system for about 24 hours and for nature to take it's course he needed to freaking fertilise it. If he misses this one, it'll be another month before we get another chance! He asked me directly "Have you got an egg in there right now?". Well, I didn't know, did I? I hedged my bets - "Yes" I said. "Well let's knock you up then" he said and we BD'd.

So, this morning - NO TEMP RISE!!! I did an OPK and it's the strongest, most positive positive I've ever seen.

Waaaaaah!