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I kept my name because it just felt right - I come from one of those cultures where women usually keep their name, and I'm an only child. As for the issue of having the same name as my child, we figured that out by giving him a hyphenated name which was nice because he got to have names that indicated his very different ethnic backgrounds. And now we just go by LO's last name to refer to our family, which makes things a lot easier. No one seems to have a problem with it!
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Nope. I asked once casually asked him if he had an opinion on me changing it, and he just looked at my like I had 2 heads. It's just not something that is done in his culture. Plus my mom never changed her name, so I'm following the family tradition
SIL didn't change her last name when she and my brother got married, either.
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Since I didn't have a middle name, my middle name is now my maiden name and my last name is my husband's name.
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I hyphenated.
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I did and I've thought about it changing it back. Not for any reason than having a really unique new name w korean first name and polish last name
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I did not and I never plan to.
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I did. I was sad to lose my more unique name for a pretty common name, though. But at that time, I was going through a lot of really positive life changes, and taking a new name felt like a fun way to mark that. My husband wouldn't have had a problem with me keeping my name, but I think he was pleased that I changed it. It's nice to have one family name.
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No. I have zero regrets, and no blowback from DH. One of the many reasons I love him.
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No and I don't have any plans to.
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No...and DH has razzed me about it a bit.
But it was important to me.
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I did, straight away. But what really riles me up at their time of year is all the Christmas cards we get addressed to Mr & mrs DH's initial last name. Last I checked, I still had my own first name. I know it's what etiquette dictates, I just don't like it.
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I did. I really like my married name, but I loved my maiden name too. If it had been horrible, I would have kept my maiden name.
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Nope. I originally planned to hyphenate, but the more time passes the less enthusiastic I feel about it. Despite being 18 weeks pregnant, I'm not really bothered by the prospect of not having the same last name as my kids...plus we can always give them my last name as a second middle name.
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Professionally, I hyphenated, personally I did change it. It still sounds weird to me. I identify much more with my maiden name, and while my married name is easier & it meant a lot to my DH, I'm not entirely thrilled to have made the change.
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I haven't yet, but I think I will before we have our first LO. I have no attachment to my maiden name, but no strong urge to take his name, either, so for now I'm just doing nothing
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Nope, not customary in my husband's culture (where we live) to make any legal changes.
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@Greentea: I've never heard of doing it that way, but such good reasoning!
@Mamaof2: same for me, no attachment to my last name.
Interestingly, where my husband is from, your maiden name is still officially part of your name even if you take your husband's name. In the US, my maiden name is no longer on my SS card, passport, etc. But on official documents in DH's country, they sometimes ONLY use my maiden, which is strange since it is technically not my name anymore. I had to specifically ask the bank to issue my debit card with my married name, otherwise they would have automatically given me one with my maiden.
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About 3 years after
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I did change it.
I wish I didn't.
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I changed my name right away and got used to my new name very quickly as a teacher!
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I did - to be honest I didn't even consider not doing it, I always presumed I would - plus It turned out that I much preferred DHs surname. I don't know if it is a cultural thing, but I don't think I know anyone IRL who didn't change their name!
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I changed mine. I feel like my husband, his family, and my family all expected me to, though that isn't why I did it. It was more that I was a little indifferent at the time, as I was a few years younger, so I just took the path of least resistance / discussion. My husband's family's beliefs are ancient, so they probably would have freaked if I didn't. If I were to do it again, I would consider hyphenating my name, although I do like the idea of our future children having my same name.
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@mrs. bird: Well that seems quite extreme (changing your first name)! Geez!
I changed my last name once we got back from our honeymoon. It was definitely easier traveling and booking everything with my maiden name.
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I change mine. It made us both happy and I love that the four of us have the same name.
My mom didn't change Her name and I never gave that a second thought. Whatever makes you happy!
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Yes just because I'm traditional and when we had kids I wanted to be the "R---- family" and share a last name with my kids.
I was young (and still am I suppose) when we got married so I haven't built a professional persona on my maiden name, but am starting to now with my married name.. Although I am fond of my maiden name, I wasn't attached to it.
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Yep I changed it as soon as I could after I was married... Socially I "changed" it the day we were married. I wasn't really attached to my maiden name at all. I like my new name much better. I also like that our whole little family unit shares the same name.
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yep! wasn't any question that i would (from myself or DH) and i don't regret it.
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I changed my name and am glad I did. It was a really cool feeling for me to have the same last name as my husband it made me feel more like a "family unit".
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I just added his last name. I technically have two last names - not hyphenated. I never changed my old accounts, so I have a credit card with just my maiden name. I also have one with just my married name.
It's been like this for three years now, and I've never run into any problems. -
I did and I am glad that I did. I like having the same name, makes me feel more like our own little family.
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Yep!
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Yep.
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@Smurfette: See, it's so funny, but sharing a last name with my DH makes me feel less like our own little family or more like I'm just lumped in with my IL's and I hate that. Mrs. H---- is my MIL, not me. I really dislike when people call me her name if that makes sense.
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@kiddosc: In the case of the military, we go by last names more often than first names, at least when we are dealing with different rank levels; my peers and supervisors usually call me by my first name, however. So, I went from Captain maiden name to Captain DH's name, which sometimes gets confusing, because now there are two of us, and I sometimes get email addressed to him. We don't work together, though, so that makes things a little easier.
In any case, it was a bigger adjustment for me, as it was not just having learning a new signature, but learning to answer to a new name at work.
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I did.
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No, and I don't ever plan to. DD has my lat name as her middle name.
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I only just changed my name a few months ago. 7 years after we got married.
When we got married I decided I wanted to keep my name, which hubby had no qualms about. My father had been diagnosed with cancer at the time, and he passed away 3 years later. I felt keeping my name was a way to keep the connection with him, and also with my mum. My daughter was born and had her father's name. It was only recently that I started feeling, what if something were to happen to hubby, would my daughter feel the same as I felt, wanting to keep that connection with her name/dad? Maybe it was time for me to let it go and embrace this side of my family. I still use both names, but married name legally.
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Not immediately. I was lazy. It took about a year and I procrastinated because I like my last name better than his.
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Yes right away!
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Nope! I never wanted to and my H wanted me to do whatever I wanted. I was surprised that some people have been judgy about it, though. Like what's it to you? And all men, too. Weird.
ETA: @rachiecakes: @greentea: I think it's awesome that your Hs took your names! Mine actually brought up taking mine, and while we ultimately decided to each keep our own, it really meant a lot to me that he considered it.
SIL didn't change her last name when she and my brother got married, either.
But it was important to me.
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