When I was growing up, there were these things called "dictionaries." They were made by chopping down trees and turning the wood into something called "paper." Then the dictionary company would pay actual money to "experts" who would write down the definition of every word. These definitions would be printed on the paper using ink.

You couldn't volunteer to help the definitions get better; no reader was allowed to just edit the definitions. There was very little slang in there; it was a dictionary after all, not an Urban Dictionary. These dictionaries would be sold at places called "bookstores." They sold only books and even if you were thirsty, they wouldn't sell you drinks or coffee. Just books.

When you didn't know what a word meant, you would grab your dictionary and look up the word. The words were all alphabetized, for your convenience. The pages were thin and hard to turn, so you usually had to lick your fingers a lot. Sometimes you would just read word after word, to see if there were any interesting ones. This would induce a state of intense boredom or intense learning, or both.

Every time I would come across a new dictionary, I would almost always check to see if it had any dirty words. This would tell me how authentic and street savvy the dictionary was. I thought I had grown out of this but when I got my new iPhone, I said all sorts of inappropriate things to Siri to see what she would say back. I guess I haven't changed all that much.

Did you ever look up dirty words in the dictionary when you were growing up? Also: do you even own a dictionary now - and when was the last time you actually physically looked something up in a paper dictionary?