Did you get involved with any parent groups? Did you just turn up??

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Did you get involved with any parent groups? Did you just turn up??

By Cherrybee Dec 29, 2015

I think I want to get out more during my mat leave with #2, and I think I should surround myself with more support. I have found a breastfeeding group online that meets in local church halls. I might be able to breastfeed this time..... and I'm sure the support will be invaluable. I have also found a babywearing group that meets for walks in the park and for breakfast/lunch and local venues. The website says to just turn up to a "meet"......

Did you go to any "meets"? Did you just rock up or did you contact the organisers beforehand? How did it go?

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25 comments

BelugaBean
pomegranate / 3516 posts

Dec 29, 2015

The ones I've become a part of ask that you contact them before initially showing up and then you usually rsvp to events. I don't see where it would hurt to let them know you're coming if it makes you more comfortable. I've met a lot of awesome women through these groups and LO1 has made a lot of friends. I'm a SAHM and it's definitely helped us get out more and has helped with the loneliness I had after she was born. Both groups are different chapters of the International MOMS Club.
snowjewelz
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts

Dec 29, 2015

I'm part of my local babywearing group, but the meet that is by me is always during DD's nap time so I have yet to go! I'm active-ish on FB, for now.
birdofafeather
pineapple / 12053 posts

Dec 29, 2015

i just showed up to our hospital's BFing support group and other mom meet ups.
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@snowjewelz: What do they talk about? Surely once you've said "so, yeah, I carry my baby like this!" "oh yeah, me too!" there isn't much to say???
snowjewelz
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Cherrybee: hahaha you can get help fitting your carrier of choice, trying new carriers, chit chat, the kids play together, etc!
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@snowjewelz: Can you see why I'm nervous about this? I'm terrible at mum stuff!
youboots
honeydew / 7622 posts

Dec 29, 2015

I'm a member of MOPS. I went to LLL once. I went to Providence (my hospital) new Moms group once, library story hour a bunch. All but MOPs I showed up.
snowjewelz
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Cherrybee: Hehe, I totally understand! I'd be nervous too!
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@youboots: Did people include you immediately? I went to a moms and baby group once in a community centre but nobody spoke to me.... which is okay when you're in that kind of environment but if you're in a restaurant and join a bunch of strangers, eat brunch in silence next to them, then leave, its a bit weird.
youboots
honeydew / 7622 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Cherrybee: I think you would enjoy are more structured group (like MOPS) or where there is a discussion leader. I made a friend with a gal at story hour because her 5 year old wanted to hold my baby. I can be outgoing so I don't mind chatting with strangers.
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@youboots: I'm usually outgoing but am really, really not the mum type (and had horrible anxiety post partum) so I struggled to connect. I think it will be different the second time around.
Foodnerd81
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

Dec 29, 2015

My neighborhood has a MOMs group that I belong to and they have a weekly "play date" that you can just show up to, which I've done. They also send out a newsletter with other activities in the community like library story times, free music classes, Etc. I go to a lot of them and have met other moms and kids there. I also went to one breastfeeding support group that my pediatrician does and there were a lot of nice moms there, but I won't be able to go when Dh goes back to rework since its firings C's nap time.

I have made a big effort to put myself out there since I sah- the days get really long when you don't have local friends to meet up with! I'm not naturally very outgoing but I try just to not feel so isolated.
Foodnerd81
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Cherrybee: I find it easier with toddlers since the kids can play together a bit and then you naturally chat with the other moms. With little babies it's more like,soooo this is my baby. She's 6 weeks old...
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Foodnerd81: Perhaps C will drop her last nap soon so you can go Yeah, with toddlers you have to talk to apologise for what they've done to the other person's kid!
Foodnerd81
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Cherrybee: don't you dare joke about her dropping her nap!!!
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Cherrybee: I find it easier with toddlers as they usually do something like snatch a toy from another kid, which gives you something to talk to the parents about When A was a baby, I made friends with mums from HB who lived in the same city, and also a baby group/course that I signed up for and because it was a course, part of that was you had to talk to each other and it led to lasting friendships. Is there anything like that you can sign up for?
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Dec 29, 2015

@Foodnerd81: E hasn't had one for a week now - I'm clearly a bitter, twisted person from the stress of it all!
Mrs.KMM
grapefruit / 4355 posts

Dec 29, 2015

I'm in a county moms group (organized through FB) and went to my first meet-up in December. We did a secret Santa swap for the kids and the kids all played while the adults are and talked.
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Jan 8, 2016

So.... I went to a mum's group! It was actually a "preparing for birth following a previous difficult delivery" support group but it is run by the same people who do the breastfeeding groups and the babywearing meet ups I mentioned in my post, and I got to meet some new mummy friends. It was a bit strange for me - the room was full of toddlers, very noisy and chaotic (not my thing! I took my toddler to daycare lol!) - but I met some nice people who i hope will be a part of my life once i am on maternity leave with #2.
travelgirl1
cantaloupe / 6630 posts

Jan 8, 2016

@Cherrybee: Yay!
daniellemybelle
cantaloupe / 6669 posts

Jan 8, 2016

@Cherrybee: Awesome! I found a great mom's group in our new city and it has made a HUGE difference. I don't think I would have adjusted to the move so well if I didn't have things to keep us busy and new friends.
Foodnerd81
wonderful cherry / 21504 posts

Jan 8, 2016

@Cherrybee: that's great! As far as the toddler- I would totally leave C in daycare for things like that if I could! I left her with DH when I went to the BF group here. My friend is on may leave and her daughter stays in daycare so she comes to our play groups and everything else with just her baby. I'm jealous. The other moms were probably envious of you

But seriously that's great you went and enjoyed it.
KayKay
pear / 1961 posts

Jan 8, 2016

@cherrybee: glad it went well! i think the important thing is to just keep showing up, even if you don't really feel like going on a certain day. most friendships are made through repeated casual interactions, so you just need to go. i find that really hard (vicious cycle: i don't know anyone, so i don't want to go, but then i don't get to know anyone better...), so i actually joined the Board of my MOMs club so that i was "forced" to go to things somewhat regularly!
Cherrybee
papaya / 10570 posts

Jan 8, 2016

@Foodnerd81: Yes, it never occurred to me that theyd have toddlers with them because it was a support group for birth trauma!! But all of them were SAHMs so they had to bring their kids, duh! Of course!
Bubbles
persimmon / 1328 posts

Jan 8, 2016

We don't have any breastfeeding or baby wearing groups where I live, but I went to lots of 'stay and play' type things at our local children's centre. I never called beforehand unless I had questions to ask. Round here there are a lot of people for whom English isn't their first language, and they tend to gather together and speak their own language - so I have had to be a bit forward to get into conversations. But I find it 10 times easier to do small talk with a baby or toddler around - there are so many obvious things to talk about and lots of common ground. When DS was really little we went to a baby massage class, that was great for the early days when I was feeling tired and stressed and lacking in confidence because there was a focus outside of talking (massaging the babies) - but still time to chat if you felt like it. At that point in time DS was in the 'scream constantly every waking second' phase, but it was still so nice to get out of the house and see other adults.

I know you mentioned your older LO is in daycare but maybe take her along if there are any meets you are feeling shy about - I SAH so I drag my 2yo DS everywhere and people talk to me all the time because of him - he is always hamming it up and charming people so he paves the way for conversation!

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