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My mom stayed two weeks. I loved it. She took care of me while I took care of the baby. She cooked for me and watched the baby when I needed a break. I had a c section so I definitely needed the help. She did it after my second too and will after my third.

No, I'm good with family staying for the weekend but any longer than that I'm over it. With that said, my mom does plan on staying around 3-4 nights with us after we return from the hospital to help out around the house.

If you can stand this person I would absolutely do it - especially with twins. Live in help would be utterly fantastic, IF it wasn't going to be more stress than it was worth. Also, I'd set really clear expectations for the kind of help you'll be expecting, what you'd like her to do for you, etc. You don't want to just be entertaining a guest while you're trying to parent - you want someone there who will be making your life easier.

My mom lives in town, but otherwise I'd have probably wanted her to come as long as possible. MIL? No way. I actually like her, but I don't do well with people in my space all the time (in fact, my mom is probably the only exception to that). But it is helpful to have an extra set of hands...especially with twins I'm sure!

My Mom stayed with us for 2 weeks. It was great, but it certainly helps that we have a great relationship. She cooked, was there for moral support, and never tried to take over baby care. It was nice to have her there.

my mom stayed for 4 weeks for #1 and 5 weeks for #2. she'll be here for 6 week for #3. the most amazing thing on the planet and i'm so thankful!! she's the super helpful type though (cleaning and cooking all day long, helping with the baby). there were moments here and there where it got to be a bit much with so many people living in a tiny apartment, but I wouldn't have traded for anything. MIL would be different in the sense that I wouldn't be as comfortable. But help is help!

Maybe you guys could set a clear leave date (maybe 3 weeks?) to make things easier?

Do you have any local help (your own family) that you would prefer? If so that does change things :).

ETA: my dh had/has to return to work a day or two after birth each time. but even if he didn't i'd want the help! it's exhausting.

We did and I mostly regret it. We definitely ate better but I really just wanted to hold LO all.the.time and soak up my mat leave but instead felt like my mom and ILs were stealing my time with LO and I would feel guilty for being so mad about it. The first time I cried PP was when my mom wouldn't give LO up while she was napping.

@MenagerieMama: Haha this happened to me too! It was my grandmother visiting from overseas. I knew she wanted to hold her first great grand child but jeez women I love you but let me hold my baby!

My mother and grandmother helped me for about 5 months after my first kid... it was kind of a bad experience but I did appreciate the help.

With my second kid my mother has also come and helped us but we put more ground rules with her this time and it's worked out pretty well for everyone.

I would just suggest setting up some ground / house rules.

If there was drama before baby, adding PP hormones will make it a million times worse, say no! I have no issues with my in laws, but 3 weeks in our house with a newborn (and my hormones) was awful.

I didn't want any but then my kid screamed at us nonstop for weeks and I begged my mom to come stay with me when dh went back to work

We had my mom for a week and it was wonderful. I didn't have to cook or clean anything and she organized and did some deep cleaning that I planned to do before LO came early.

We will have my mom for a week again with this one and then maybe my sister for awhile. She will be back from a long trip a few weeks before this one is due and needs a place to stay while she job hunts, so she will probably stay with us in exchange for some help cooking and managing LO1.

I absolutely would take any and all help if I had multiples! Especially as a ftm!

My mum came & stayed with us from overseas straight after the birth for a week which was a godsend! Then DH was home on leave for a couple of weeks (during which point my ILs came to visit so he could entertain them!) - then my mum returned for two weeks afte DH had gone back to work. She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, held LO when I needed to rest & would get up overnight to help with feedings. I had a normal uncomplicated birth but I discovered I was more in pain once the adrenaline has worn off, so lying down was crucial for recovery! It was amazing & I was so sad when she left!

My MIL stayed with us for 10 days and it was honestly the best thing. I thought I would be wary since I like my space and generally don't like visitors who stay more than a few days, but at that point I was in survival mode and was so grateful for any help at all.

I don't think I could handle it because I like my space. But, if you ask someone like my MIL (a twin mom) she said she couldn't have done it solo, she had her mom's help.

My mom stayed for two weeks, went home for two, then came back for another 6 weeks. I thought I would hate having her up in my space for that long (and thought it would drive DH crazy) but it was perfect. I wish she could have stayed all summer. I cried my eyes out both times she left. One nice thing was that we didn't plan the later stay (for 6 weeks) until after we saw how the 2 week stint went. But it worked so well that DH and I were both eager to have her back. She actually got up with me for a couple MOTN feedings for the twins when she was here which helped DH be somewhat rested for work. She cleaned and cooked and rocked babies while I napped. I miss it now that I'm writing it all out!

Here's the thing that I really feel though - you may feel like you need all the help that you can get being a mom of twins (and that is fine! Get used to asking for help because you really will need it!) but don't sacrifice your own sanity over the idea of you needing help, if that makes sense? After my mom left, I felt insecure, like could I really do it all myself? My MIL didn't think I could function without help and came over every day from 9 am - 5 pm when my husband came home. I was never by myself. I felt like my life, my house, and my children were taken over by her and what she thought was right. She truly thought she was being helpful, but the thing is, she never built me up the way my mom did. She only tore me down and undermines every decision about the kids. Instead of feeling rested and supported like when my mom was here, I felt berated, worn down, anxious, and miserable. I woke up every day dreading 9 am when she walked in the door. When I finally snapped and told her I couldn't handle it anymore things started to improve. She still doesn't think I can handle things by myself (she asks if they cry all the time while I'm home alone with them or whether I'm able to eat and go to the bathroom without anyone here to help) but at least I have confidence that I can do it myself now so it doesn't bother me as much anymore.

All this to say that the thought of having twins can be daunting, but I would not feel pressured into inviting anyone into your home for an extended stay, especially before knowing how things will go once your babies are home! I would especially not want to commit to having her stay if you've had drama in the past!