If baby was awake, were they in your arms? Sometimes I put him down (swing, boppy, blanket etc) and he's perfectly content but I feel guilty that I should be holding and interacting with him. But then I think it's good for him to explore the world a bit independently too. Just wondering what others did.
Ets: he's almost 8 weeks
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Around 5 weeks, my daughter stopped sleeping all the time and started to really need some time out of my arms. She enjoyed just lying under her activity mat or in the bouncy seat and watching the world go by. Her awake time was still quite short, but she would fuss if she was awake and in my arms because she wanted to move her little arms and legs and see what was going on. It's perfectly fine! Use that time to have a shower and eat some lunch!
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Eeek probably not enough! He loved to be put in his bouncy chair and look around. If he got fussy I would put him there and he was so happy.
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I have an older DS too and I remember feeling guilty with him too. So silly.
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I *feel* like I had a good balance of holding DD and also putting her in the RNP. She was nursing to sleep and we cosleep so I don't think I was losing out on much physical contact at all!
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Nope, my son is not touchy/cuddly and we figured out early on that my son gets easily overstimulated. Jostling him all the time made it worse. He actually enjoyed being left alone in his play gym, sit me up chair, jumparoo, in the PNP with a few toys, or being walked in his stroller. He just liked to observe and examine things on his own.
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We held her a lot cause otherwise she would cry. But if I could put her down in the bouncer and do stuff around the house I would. I never felt guilty about it.
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We had our moms here most of the first month so she was rarely put down. After they left she spent more time on her activity mat or in the bouncy chair. I never felt guilty.
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Guilty, but she's my first. She still gets held a ton at 9 months!
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My LO loved being on her tummy time mat and actually didn't like being held all the time. I tried to just do a mix. I wouldn't worry about it.
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Yes!
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I held her as much as I could when she was itty. But I put her down as much as she wanted. I wanted to give her time to do her own thing, and not force interaction on her. And she needed to learn to be okay without constantly being entertained by me. I didn't put her in anything though, just on a blanket on the floor.
As she got older, she started getting fussy if we didn't give her her alone time, and now at 8mo is content to play alone for long periods while I'm pumping or cleaning.
I've always held her for naps though. Gives us both good cuddle time, and we like to play when she wakes up. Just reaching over to turn on the light is one of her favorite games.
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The best answer is to look at your son's cues. I held mine more than I didn't, but it was also because she hated tummy time and would only do it on my stomach, and she was definitely an easily stimulated kid so she didn't last long on a play mat. You don't have to interact with him all the time, but if he's fussing and not enjoying what he's doing, change it up.
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I felt guilty for not holding her enough! But she really didn't like it. She prefered to be in her bouncy chair.
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Yes, but he was content in his jumper or mamaroo sometimes. He hated the pack n play. My MIL and mom said I was spoiling him. But I just couldn't let him cry. LOL.
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@Mrs. Carrot: good point. I would never leave him laying there crying, but if he's happy it's probably fine, right?
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@travellingbee: Absolutely. You gotta get your breaks in too!
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@Mrs. Carrot: no totally. I just always feel like I should get my breaks when he's napping and that when he's awake I'm supposed to be interacting with him. Silly mom guilt.
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@travellingbee: Oh I remember that well. I'm a classic introvert and I wrecked myself with guilt over not talking to her nonstop because I just couldn't make conversation with essentially an inanimate object. She's a pretty articulate 2.5 year old now so I guess I didn't do too badly
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Not at that age. At first, sure. But I wanted her to be able to play independently. At that age I would put her under the IKEA play gym and she loved it. It was just not sustainable for me to continue holding her all the time. She plays well on her own nowat almost a year... Usually for 20-30 min while I'm showering or getting ready just fine.
I've been really sick this week .... today she played with her toys in her PNP for over an hour while I layed on the couch. It's not the norm but it's nice to have a kid that can entertain herself in a pinch.
I remember telling my Mom I felt guilty if I was not always entertaining her.... She basically said no one has time for that.
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With twins, not enough, but I would get nothing done if I didn't put them down.
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@Mrs. Carrot: Oh man ditto. I worried about the same thing with talking with DS1 and he's super verbal.
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As long as she was happy. She liked her solo play time, and still does at 7 months. If she is crying, she is held!
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Yes, but he didn't like being put down. I was addicted to pop tarts the first few weeks because I could set him on his playmat and heat them up for 10 seconds and rah back just as he started getting upset. Even when he got older I can remember putting him in the jumperoo to get ready for work and I'd consider myself lucky if I got 5 minutes to gather all my stuff up.
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@travellingbee: Oh, have you thought about babywearing him? I particularly liked my fly tai when they were that young.
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@bluestriped bee: I do sometimes but I have a bad back and it honestly hurts me after a while so I end up sitting anyway.
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Up until about 4 months, when she started to play with toys more, I held her most of the day, every day. She would be happy for maybe 5 minutes on her play mat or in the mamaroo, and then she would melt down. At 6 months now, she better about being in her own, but still clingy. I felt guilty that she wasn't exploring on her own enough. So I think it goes both ways, and we all just need to listen to what our babies are telling us.
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Nope - I wanted her to learn to play independently plus she did tummy time and such.
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No I definitely did not hold her all the time. She spent lots of time on a play mat or blanket. I constantly talked or sang to her but she wasn't always in my arms.
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He is almost 4 now and I don't remember! I think it was a good mix. He is (and has always been) very good at independent play.
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I set them down whenever they would let me. That's not very often. I've been told by many DCPs that my babies will not tolerate being put down. At least I know they're not being left alone somewhere at daycare.
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DS is 10 weeks and because I've held the child for EVERYTHING including naps since he was born, he won't let me put him down now.
I have to wait till DH gets home to do anything. I put him in his bouncer when I have to pee, and I just let him cry. I know he'll grow out of it, but I've created a monster lol
Eta: sitting in the rocking chair holding him right now playing on HB while he naps
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Nope! He was such a content baby, he rarely demanded to be held so he spent a good amount of time in rock n play, swing, activity mat and my arms.
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No, I didn't, and I think she is a more independent toddler because of it. She was content in her bouncer, play mat, etc. Don't get me wrong, we had tons of cuddles!
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@Jackiedavis87: I think a lot of this is temperament! Don't stress about that. My son didn't really like to be set down until he could play alone, especially after he could crawl.
I miss all the Netflix I used to watch holding him for his naps on the couch!
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I put them down in their rockers when I needed to do something, if not I was generally holding them. At 8 weeks I wasn't worried about them being able to play independently, I just wanted to soak up every bit of the baby moments while they lasted!
As they got older, and showed more interest in interacting with their surroundings they learnt to play independently just fine.
I think all that matters is that you are following their cues, they're happy and you're happy.
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DS1 yes ALL THE TIME and I created a monster. He's an extremely independent 2 year old now tho so no lasting damage! DS2 no - he's pretty easygoing so far, so I put him down a lot. I don't feel bad at all, the world around him is plenty stimulating enough at this age, and if he needs me he'll let me know!
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All the time. I finished my masters thesis when dd was 6 months old. I'd work with her in my lap, wearing her, or on my bed with her sleeping on the boppy cuddled up to me (never unsupervised). She wasn't a bug alone time baby so I didn't push.
Now she's 18 months and, while she prefers us in the room, she plays very independently.
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@junebugsmama: lol! What's so funny is I swear the day after I wrote this, he's taken at least one nap in his bouncer everyday! It's like writing this post flipped a switch...I hope I didn't just jinx it!
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Like... allllll the time when she was little lol. I felt so guilty if I wasn't focusing my attention on her as a newborn. Now with an almost-2-year-old I'm like man she was FINE then I could've set her down and made dinner (or painted my nails or read a magazine lol).
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