I didn't really know this was even a common thing until I saw others post about it, so just wanting to see how common it is. I guess I can't even fathom why my mom or MIL would want to be there, but maybe I am living in my own bubble! 
They haven't said anything and hopefully they won't! If they ask, I wouldn't let them!
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They both wanted to (although neither one insisted...they would have happily stayed in the waiting room if I wanted). My mom used to be a doula (although she just called herself a childbirth coach) and I think MIL was just really excited to feel included, since she has all sons and I'm essentially her daughter. I was grateful I had both of them there, they (and D and my FIL) were a great childbirth cheerleading team when I desperately needed one (looong back labor, failed epidurals, two hours of pushing).
I know it's not for everyone, and it might not even be for me next time, but I had no qualms then and no regrets now.
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If they did they never said anything to me about it.
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My mom really really wanted to, as much as I love her I knew I needed that space at that time! No hard feelings
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@lovehoneybee: That is a great and interesting perspective! The thought is just so foreign to me that if either one asked, I'd probably be freaked out and act rude about it! But if that is a possibility (that they would ask), I can hopefully be prepared with a soft way to break it to them. Or, I guess you never know how your perspective could change in that situation!
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my mom never pushed, but i wanted her there and she wanted to be there too. it was great for both of us.
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No, neither of them have mentioned it to me either time. To be honest I wouldn't mind having my Mum in there but I think it would drive DH nuts and I want that time to be special for him. So I never asked...
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I wanted my mom in the room with me, MIL never asked.
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Neither of them have asked, but I'd like them to be.
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MIL didn't ask and I doubt she wanted to. My mom didn't want to and I didn't want her to.
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My MIL would have liked to be but she hinted and never asked. That was a no-go.
I thought about having my mom there but she seemed really adverse to that idea so I never asked her to.
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Both wanted to be there and I wanted them to be in case things got to be too much for DH or I needed extra support. My MIL doesn't want to be there this time (she said once was enough) so she'll be watching LO but my mom definitely wants to be there again.
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My mom knew I just wanted DH in there, and said she was fine with that since she just had my dad in the room when she had kids. If I wanted her, she said she would come. If she really wanted to she didn't say.
MIL may have wanted too, but I don't think I would have been comfortable with her in there. she never said if she wanted to be in there.
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My mom was in the room, I wanted her there and she wanted to be there. It was great having the extra hands for counter pressure on my back since I had back labor and it meant my mom and dh could both go and have breaks to have something to eat.
Dh said MIL mentioned to him when I was pregnant that she would love to be in the room but that would never happen in a million years. -
My mom did and was there. My MIL never brought it up, but she lives out of state and our hospital only allowed 2 people to be in the room so it was a moot point.
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We had a home birth, 2,200 miles away from our family.
My mom would have LOVED to be here, and I would have been okay with her being here (though, I really loved being alone with my husband and baby after the birth). My MIL would have gladly been here, but I didn't want her here. She basically thought the baby and I would both die if we weren't in a hospital. Soooo.
As far as modesty goes, anyone could be in there. I don't care. BUT, I really wanted a quiet, private birthing experience with my husband and my midwives.
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Neither one of them brought it up, but when we mentioned it as a possibility, we could tell that they wanted, but didn't want to impose or make us feel uncomfortable by asking.
My mom was in the delivery room for Char, and my MIL was in the delivery room for Harry.
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I think my mom would have liked to be (and if DD came any earlier, she may have been!) but I told her that I wanted it to be just me and DH (and our doula).
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I asked everyone to wait until after delivery, skin-to-skin, and a mom/baby nap before arriving at the hospital. I think they were offended but that is what was best for me. I don't think they wanted to be in the delivery room but I think they had expected to camp out in the waiting room at the hospital.
As it turns out, the baby was late and my MIL had left on a vacation. And he was born at 1am when there were no visiting hours at the hospital. So it was a moot point and my parents just showed up later that morning once they were permitted to visit.
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My mom did not, although she wanted to visit as soon as possible after they were born. My MIL and FIL would have both loved to be there but we told them were clearly that we would call them when we were ready for visitors, which shut down the whole discussion. As it is, I had a twin delivery which meant delivery in the OR just in case, so my dr was very strict about not having extra people around. Things got really crazy during my delivery. I didn't know it at the time, but my parents and in-laws had all come to the hospital to wait (against our wishes). I'm glad I didn't know that at the time because I didn't need any extra pressure or stress on me. I had work to do!
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My mom didn't, but she ended up staying!
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My mom showed up. If she'd asked in advance I would have said no way, but it was fine.
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Nobody asked and thank god, because that would've been a big hells nah. I was incredibly uncomfortable with my MIL tending to me during my mc in the hospital (on one hand im grateful she was there but at the same time, I would've preferred to be alone?..) and I just don't like an audience when I'm feeling vulnerable and birth is the same way for me.
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@blackbird: Haha!! My thoughts exactly!
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My mom was staying with us so she wanted to, but would have been fine if I told her no.
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@ElbieKay: I'm actually really hoping baby gets here in the middle of the night so they can't take it personally that I want them to wait like you did!
@blackbird: Definitely agree!
My mother really wants to be there, and we haven't really had that talk yet. I'm willing to consider having her come early on and see how it goes, but I'm 99.99999% sure I don't want her there in general. I'll have a doula to give DH breaks so I won't be left alone though. If I wasn't able to afford that, I would probably want her there because I REALLY don't want to be alone at all (traumatic previous experience). MIL I know would love to be there, but DH preemptively let her know that wasn't an option. His sister kicked her out during her labor, so I think that set a good precedent, in addition to the fact that she's just not MY mom. Plus she's a chain smoker, pill addict, alcoholic, etc, so not really the person I want around during labor.
I'm also with @ElbieKay in that I think everyone plans to camp out in the hospital, and I am NOT okay with that. My mom can if she just really wants to, but I've told her once and will as many times as I need to that no one is coming in until at least after the first couple hours of skin to skin and working on BFing. No one else is welcome even then. We'll let people know when we're ready for visitors.
I think the problem with both of our families is that no one has done the med-free labor thing before, or focused on BFing and skin to skin and all that. They're picturing me laying in bed with an epidural, not feeling anything, chatting happily. And then baby being whisked off to the nursery as soon as she's out. None of which is what we're planning, and we don't need a bunch of witnesses when I'm half naked for various reasons!
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They didn't ask, but I wanted them both there so I asked them.
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Neither asked but I really wanted my mom to be there and so she was!
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I have no idea, they both live so far away that it wasn't a possibility so it never even came up.
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My mom was in there while I labored but not when pushing. She didn't ask and I didn't offer.
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Technically my parents were in the delivery room but just for 5 minutes or so while I labored... not during delivery. I planned not to allow them in but I had been in labor for days and I knew they were worried about me and wanted to see how I looked for themselves. I don't know if my mom wanted to stay but I certainly didn't want her in there. I couldn't even handle knowing they were in the waiting room.
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I asked my mom to be there, and she wanted to be but wouldn't have brought it up unless I did. I didn't ask my mil and didn't want her there
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MIL didn't ask and my mum definitely didn't. She was already anxious about knowing that I was going to be in pain, so it was just me and hubby. She was with me post miscarriage complications and I was in agony, and I felt sorry for her seeing her kid in pain
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No, neither my mom or MIL thought/thinks its appropriate for them to be in the laboring room. They respect my privacy and think birth is a private family moment - with "family" being me and DH.
My parents did camp out at the hospital, and MIL would have had she lived here when LO was born. I was totally fine with that.
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My mom did but is very respectful of my wishes and my need to live a separate life...but I wanted her there and honestly she was more help than DH and she will totally be there this time too. My MIL didn't want to be there and I would have never let her if she did
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My SMIL wouldn't ask, even being a doctor. My Mom never asked but I told her early on that I wanted just DH and me. I don't know if I asked her to be in the room if she would have. I think she would have said that it should be a moment for DH and I.
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My SIL let me mom, my grandma, and both her mom and step mom in the room. So I think my mom thought it was common to have the parents in the room because she asked if I wanted her in there but I told her I just want my DH. I love her tons but it would just stress me out more having other people in there. I wouldn't feel comfortable with my MIL in there.
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For my first, they both wanted to, although there's no way in hell I'd allow my MIL in. She asked if she could stand out in the hallway outside my room. she's crazy. In the end, my mom and sister were there for the pushing phase with LO1, and my sister was there for LO2. My mom would have liked to be there but she had to be home with DD.
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My mom died 3 years ago, so that was never an option. In theory I would have loved my mom to be there, but then again if I actually had the chance, who knows. I'm pretty sure my mom would have wanted to be there though. I know her mom was there when both my brother and I were born. Also, I always heard great things about my moms labors growing up, with midwives, med-free, and it was so much a factor in what I wanted for myself.
As for my mil, she never expressed interest, but I didn't really want her there either, especially since she didn't understand why I wouldn't want an epidural.
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@Torchwood: I didn't want anyone waiting because I wanted to take my time with skin-on-skin and have the option to rest. I knew that if they were waiting I would feel time pressure. I'm glad it worked out the way it did.
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