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@thismustbetheplace: I forgot to say that I'm a bit of a skeptic of prenatal perineal massage just because of some things I've read. And I never did it and still didn't tear. But that's just me.

I had second degree tears. It hurt to pee and sit for the first couple of weeks. I think that I fully recovered from it around 5-6 months pp because for awhile there I could feel the line of tear sitting or during sex.

@looch: Where/how did you learn to do it? or did you just kind of massage around down there?

i'm worried because the hospital I will be using doesn't let you push in any other position besides lithotomy (laying down).

@thismustbetheplace: I took the class offered by my hospital and the midwife explained what to do.

Basically, the best time to do the massage is after a warm shower or bath. Use a nuetral oil, like cosmetic grade sunflower seed oil and insert your thumb. Go from side to side, gradually increasing pressure and time. I think I could only stand a few seconds when I started, but worked my way up to a few minutes.

I had an episiotomy and then a 2nd degree tear. I pushed for 2 hours. The delivering OB did a lot of massaging and rubbed in a ton of oil but DS was sunny side up and he was trying to turn him. His head was stuck and both our heart rates and my blood pressure were getting erratic so he made the cut to get him out fast, but even with the cut I tore. My babe was 8lb 12oz.

I was able to poop that night but it stung to pee whenever I forgot to use the peri bottle for about 3 weeks. My healing took longer...it was still healing at my 6wk appt, and at another Dr's appt at 8wks. By the time I got my Mirena at 12w it was completely healed.

I did, although I have no idea how bad because my midwife refused to tell me. She said it was one continuous stitch. I totally felt it happening and was sure I tore even before they realized I did. With that said, at that moment, I didn't care! I just wated LO out (and I even listed tearing as one of my fears)! I'm guessing it was either a second or third degree tear.

@thismustbetheplace: I had a perineal massage with oil during labor and was still cut because of DS's position.

@thismustbetheplace: They can't not "let" you do anything. You're the one giving birth, they work for you. Not "allowing" any position besides lithotomy is pure laziness, not wanting to so something different (look how easy the lithotomy position makes delivery for the delivering doctor. S/he just sits there and catches, much to the detriment of mom and baby), and is NOT evidence-based care. Grrrrrrrrr. Can you tell these kinds of rules piss me off just a little?

@thismustbetheplace: Oh, but to clarify about perineal massage, I'm skeptical of the practice massage done during the third tri, not the massage and perineal support many care providers give during pushing. I had massage done with oil with my first baby and none with the second (because I was only pushing for barely a minute) and didn't tear either time, but that probably has more to do with my skin type than anything. Prenatal perineal massage isn't a bad thing, I'm just not convinced that it works.

I had 2nd degree but it took a long time to stitch up. I also pushed LO out in 18 minutes...definitely could have made it easier on myself.

My doc also did a lot of perineal massage while I was pushing and she was crowning, so I think that helped a lot! I had a few minor scrapes that she put an internal stitch that she considered not putting in but did just to be safe. I had a really easy recovery...not to mention had to walk down 13 stories the next day when our hospital was evacuated due to Hurricane Sandy. I only used an ice pack once post partum and didn't take a single motrin or tylenol for pain down there.