Hellobee Boards

In the beginning yes (gave birth Oct 1st) I kind of had a small breakdown a couple weeks ago that I hadn't read a book in months (previously read 2 books a week) or gotten dressed up (something I enjoy doing.) My mom bought me couple new books and DH sent me shopping for some new work clothes. It helped me feel like myself again and realized it's okay to have a hobby outside of my child, and for me completely necessary to keep my sanity.

I'm having my first official whole day to myself on Saturday, DH is taking DD to his parents with him for the morning/afternoon, and I'm going to lunch and shopping with a friend...and I"m hoping for some quiet time with just myself at home!

I have definitely lost my identity to motherhood. We struggle financially so I can't just go enjoy a massage or go do anything that would cost extra. I do however play volleyball once a week and that's something I love to do. I think once I get back to work I'll find my identity again.

My family very graciously did not want to give us baby stuff for Christmas, but we really just wanted it since we would have to buy it anyway and are due in a few weeks!

My husband's sister gave him a diaper bag I registered for. It's cherry blossom print. Ha!

I think your identity can get wrapped up in “mom”; and I work hard (I guess?) to try to remain ME.

I know Christmas is over; but for gifts like wine or bath products – I think those would still be wonderful gifts if she likes those things. You can have a glass of wine while bf’ing; and her husband (or anyone) could step in and give her a dedicated half hour or so to take a nice bath while he watched the baby.

I have kept working which I think helps to define my role outside of “mom”. I’ve also made an effort to keep up my hobbies and interests, even if it’s sometimes hard to do so because I have very little free time.

NO! I make a huge effort to ensure that this doesn't happen. My family often gives gifts of money, and I am careful to spend it on myself when it's my gift. I think that it's very important to protect your own identity in both little and big ways.

Losing yourself in parenting is sometimes seen as unavoidable, but it really, really isn't. Even when I was exhausted and didn't feel like doing much, I made sure to do little things just for me. Like, we never listen to children's music - only music that we like, and as a result, our daughter likes it too. We don't let the toys take over our house - they live on shelves, baskets, and in her room, but the adult space can be made back into purely adult space very quickly.

We made room for a child in our lives, and she is the most amazing and one of the best parts of it. But there are other parts of my life too!

@artbee: I agree with understanding mom more know that I'm one myself. To this day she still puts us kids first and ahead of her needs. Makes me proud to have her as my mom, but I wish she enjoyed it more, as we are all in our 20s-30s and mothers ourselves!