My parents started talking to me about college at a very early age. I think I received SAT prep books for my 7th or 8th birthday? I thought they were really annoying and pushy about it so I don't want to do the same with my kids.
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*expected. Not wanted.
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Wow, I thought it was bad that I started getting the prep books in middle school! Yes, it was a given in my family. And not just college, certain colleges.
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Yep, it's the number one reason they came to the US.
I'm a dork and would be a student for life if I didn't have to take out loans though, it never felt like an expectation or burden. I was DESPERATE to go to college/grad school/etc.
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It was an expectation and not exactly a choice for me. Graduating high school didn't mean much to my parents (they didn't even take the night off at the restaurant to attend my graduation). It was just the next step towards college.
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@mrsjyw: I totally wanted to go to college but I just didn't want to study for standardized tests at 7 or 8! But I did go so I guess they did something right?
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Yep!
My parents had the university picked out and we took tours when I was 8 or so. For some reason or another my sister didn't get this expectation placed on her so harshly. They did want her to go, but they didn't push and nearly force her like I had been.I ended up going to that university and then developed anxiety and then depression and had to drop out for a year. It was after that year that I decided to return for myself and for my own reasons. I graduated.
The part that makes me maddest was that I was expected to go and told by my parents that "we'll work something out" in terms of affording it. What did they mean in the end? It meant that I was to take out loans and owe a ton of money when I was done. Makes me so mad. I could have saved more money had I been told that the financial burden was solely on me, when they made it seem like it wasn't.
Anyway (woo.. this hits a sore spot!), I too wont be the same with my kids.
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I think they hoped I would go, but I was the one that was insistent on where. I remember specifically telling my father that I was determined to go where I wanted to go and he didn't object.
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Yes. But they weren't that helpful while I was in high school in supporting me. However, both of them only went to community college.
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Yup, needed to be an Ivy!
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Yes. It wasn't a choice in my household. My parents were the first to go to college in their family. Neither started right after HS because it wasn't an option for them oorin the realm of possiblities. However, for me HS was never an end point.
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Not the one I wanted to go to
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@autumnlove: hahahah i hated those too, but luckily i'm good at standardized tests. if i had to study for those, i don't think i'd have made it out alive!
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They never sat down with me and talked about the importance of going to college or were pushy - - it was an understood and unspoken expectation. Like, it was just so obvious a life step that after high school you go to college, that it was never really a discussion.
Of course, when I was in high school, we started talking about the pros and cons of specific schools and programs, but the decision to go to college was never a question.
It will be the same for LO.
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Oh yeah. No one on either side ever went, so they really wanted 'bigger & better' for me. Not that college necessarily makes that happen, but that's sure what they believed.
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Not going to college was never an option. I "knew" I was going to college before I could talk.
However, my parents hadn't gone, so they didn't really understand the process, the value of internships, etc. They seemed to think just attending and graduating from any college—without extracurriculars, without work experience, regardless of the network available—was enough. I will probably be far pushier in comparison, but also more flexible, if that makes sense.
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@yoursilverlining: Same.
It's not an option.
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Wow! That's crazy to me! College wasn't even on my radar until my second year of high school.
Neither of my parents went to school past high school, and while it was expected that we join the military/trade/university, it was up to us to decide which one and what school.
I can't imagine putting that kind of pressure on my kids.
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There wasn't even a question that I would go, I'm pretty sure it was assumed since birth lol. My family is very big on education. My great grandfather was a janitor at a prestigious private boarding school. The headmaster let my grandfather attend for free and then helped him get a college scholarship. He was the first in my dad's family to go to college and I really think it changed the direction of my family.
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It was understood that we would go to college.
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@AmandaB8: there wasn't pressure except do well in schoolvto have *your* pick of schools. There are so many universities out there that a child with poor grades and meager SAT scores can get in. You can major in almost anything at a 4 year institution. College was about the experience just as much as the education. My parents encouraged me to go away to school as well.
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Yes - I especially think because my 3 older siblings did not. I was the only one who went!
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It was always understood that I would go to college. It will be the same for my kids, especially after seeing how my SIL is completely dependent on MIL since all she has is a certificate after HS and can only gets jobs like working as a grocery store cashier.
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They expected me to go to both CEGEP and University. I never went to university but I did just fine anyhow so I think they're happy with how I turned out lol.
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No, never. We talked about it but it wasn't an expectation. Neither of my parents have college degrees. Thus they couldn't pay for my or siblings education, and highly discouraged loans. So here I am 24 and still working on going to school married with a kid. In some ways I hate that it's taking me so long (to do it without debt), but I'm also thankful I don't have debt.
I will definitely encourage it with LO. It will be an expectation.
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Want? haha, more like an expectation here too. And not 'just' college, they expected/hoped that I'd go to MIT and even bribed me with a new car. I didnt make it in though.
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@PurplePumps: My friend got a new BMV when she got into her parent's alma mater on a full ride athletic scholarship!
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My dad pushed college on me but it was mostly a hope and a dream for us. We didn't have the money.
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Wasn't even an option; no question.
Either was the fact that we all needed advanced degrees beyond our BS.
Either was the fact that we were expected to marry someone of that caliber, too.
I believed in it 100% and hope the same for my son. -
My choice was move out and get a job or go to college.
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Yep. They weren't really happy about what my sister and I chose to go for though (teaching).
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It was a given I was going, just a matter of where. They even picked out my major for me!! Sigh.
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It was expected. Because I lived with those expectations up to that point I never considered any alternatives. I wish I had though as for my field if I'd have gone into the workforce at 16 or 18 and studied whilst I earnt, I'd be further ahead than I am now. Having a degree but no experience meant I had to start from the bottom almost anyway!
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Not going to college was not an option. It was just a matter of which college. I lived in a household where getting "A"s was expected. Both of my parents are incredibly smart.
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Yes, it was expected.
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It was an expectation and they were very supportive as long as it was a community or state college we could afford. Growing up it was always just assumed and discussed that college was the next step after high school.
My grandmother on the other hand had high expectations on me going to Mount Holyoke as she did- that wasn't happening unless she paid, which she didn't. My other grandmother wanted me to go to U of AZ like she did... I did for a summer, then made my own choices.
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